The Wonderful World of Arxane

What, did you think I had stopped?

2010-08-14T23:24:00.000-04:00

To everyone who follows this blog solely to find out about my Legend of Zelda fic...

Okay, back to work...

2010-05-11T21:35:00.000-04:00

"The time has come!" the Walrus said.

Yes, yes, I know I used this line before when it came to me getting off my ass and starting to write again, but now it's time to actually do it. Time to get back to what I was so good...okay, maybe good is not the word...so prolific at way back in high school, back when I could actually write more than one chapter every century.

Of course, these days I can't guarantee I'll have something written in a timely manner - I'm currently in the middle of working out the details to declare my candidacy for my PhD, and there's a load of other shit I likely and unfortunately have to deal with, so my mood and/or time is not always going to cooperate. Still, at least I have my writing spark back. These past few years, I've been sort of meandering about, but now the spark is flickering once more. All I have to do now is find the gasoline to set things ablaze.

So, let's get down to brass tacks and outline what I'm going to be doing over the summer in my spare time:

- Updating my Ancestral Trail blog. I've been meaning to finish this for a long time, and after all the scanning and writing, I only have 19 issues left. Over half way, and yet still not 3/4s there. But at least it's getting somewhere, and will get closer to the end over the summer.

- Update my thoughts on MST3K. Recently, I've decided to do something I've always wanted to do: watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 from the beginning (okay, from season 1) to end. I tried doing it once before, but midway through Season 3, I had an urge to write my thoughts on the movies and the riffing. Of course, by then, I had completely forgotten about whatever thoughts I may have had for Seasons 1 and 2, so it was pointless to write anything. But now I've had the chance to start over again and write my thoughts immediately after viewing the episodes, which I plan on doing on a (very) irregular basis.

- Oh, yes, update that fic many have been clamoring about. Yes, yes, I know. Really, I do. Do you know how many times a month I still get emails from people asking me to update and/or finish my Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time fic? I'm honestly amazed people still care enough about it to ask about it, but it's not going away, so I have to do what I should've done a couple years ago and finish the damn thing. I have a couple of new chapters finished, but as I have said before, I plan on releasing them much later once I've gotten something else finished, and that is still going to take a bit of time. Trust me, once I've gotten it finished, I'll log back into my old fanfiction.net account (I wonder if I can still remember the password?), post an update, and let everyone know what's going on. It will happen this summer...by Holy Hell, it's going to happen, or my name is Chewy McSlipperson.

Until next update, have a good one.

The Ancestral Trail #33: Terraforma, Enviromorpher

2010-05-08T21:40:00.000-04:00

Trapped in the Lair of the Land Changer

Story:

In the thirty-third sector

11001 01111 10101 10010 00101 01110
00101 01101 11001 10011 10011 10100
10010 00101 01110 00111 10100
01000 10111 01001 01100 01100
00010 00101 11001 01111 10101
10010 00110 10010 01001 00101
01110 00100

Your enemy's strength will be your friend

As the menacing souls continue to loom over Richard, Robo's metallic voice calmly advises the Chosen One not to touch the souls because they are made of anti-matter. The souls meanwhile form an enormous serpent, its head grinning evilly at Richard. Suddenly wondering aloud what would happen if matter meets anti-matter, Richard reaches behind him and picks up a shard from one of the broken glass spheres and hurls it at the snake's body.

Upon touching the snake's head, a series of explosions immediately rock the Library as the head implodes with a firework-like spark, followed by the rest of its body. One clump of souls explodes in such a way that it blasts a hole in one of the Library walls, releasing sunlight into the room. Richard and Robo quickly escape toward the hole as the rest of the snake's body destroys itself.

Upon hurling himself outside, Richard sees a welcome sight waiting for him: the cybercruiser patiently hovering just oustside the Library wall. The Chosen One and Robo quickly climb on and soar into the air as the entire Library is engulfed in flames and disintegrates in the flames. The pair fly away from the scene in silence until Richard notices a change in scenery. He points out to his companion that the landscape had morphed into a sprawlin network of pipes and canals, which Robo identifies as Pipe City, the place where Richard must seek out the Omni Piece.

Amidst the pipes, Richard spies a landing pad and sends the cruiser down upon it for a landing. There, the two inspect the various pipes, which Robo says contain either toxic waste or highly pressurized air. Just then, a sound alerts Richard, and he turns to see a group of cone-shaped creatures approaching him. Robo identifies them as Spikers, robots attracted to movement and armed with deadly plasma spears. One Spiker emphasizes Robo's last point by firing a spear at Richard, barely missing him. Richard and Robo immediately turn and flee through the maze of pipes and canals to lose the Spikers, and soon they are hopelessly lost.

They eventually emerge in a large open space, where Robo says that they have lost the Spikers, but a loud humming sound indicates a new presence is approaching. Moments later, Richard see this new life form: a giant glowing, pulsing, floating crystal with human-like features in its surface.

The giant crystal approaches the pair and identifies itself as Terraforma, environmorph, and guaranteed a fun time. Richard almost relaxes at the being's words, but then recalls the seemingly angelic Peter back in the Library. Suspicious, Richard asks Terraforma what an environmorph is, which caused the crystal to alter its pulses. A beeping sound alerts Richard to a new message on Robo's panel, and he quickly tries to decode it, but Terraforma's hypnotic gaze draws his attention away from the panel.

Terraforma answers the Chosen One's question by stating he can change the environment, and he orders Richard to approach him. Richard does so, and as he gazes into a red beam pulsing from the gem's forehead, the world around Richard bursts into flame, both the ground and the very air set alight. Terraforma mocks Richard as he attempts to get his sword, and the environment again changes, this time into a icy wasteland that freezes Richard where he stands.

Knowing he can't take another extreme weather change, Richard tries turning to Robo, who is still encased in flame. By chance, Richard sees the binary panel and uses his fear to translate the message at a frantic pace. He instantly understands the message and asks Robo if any Spikers are in the vicinity. When Robo confirms this is so, Richard asks Robo to draw them in. Robo does so by flailing about and moving around frantically. The Spikers, drawn by the movement, appear almost immediately.

Robo shoots himself into the air and the Spikers hesitate for a moment before bypassing the immobile Richard and targeting Terraforma, who is spinning wildly. The Spikers surround the environmorph and fire a storm of plasma spears at it. The giant crystal tries to escape, but one plasma spear lands directly in the crystal's giant heart. Terramorpha shatters into a thousand shards, and immediately the environment reverts back to normal.

Richard thaws out and quickly rushes to his companion, who had been struck by a ricocheted Spiker spear. The robot assures Richard that his circuits are still fine and says that the Chosen One needs to retrieve the Omni Piece, which is held inside a large citadel shaped like a crouching spider.

The Spikers are still nearby, however, and approaching the pair. Richard spies an open pipe and leads his friend to it. The two of them jump inside and are quickly carried away by a powerful current of air. Richard and Robo are forced to let the current take them wherever it goes, unable to even slow themselves down or stop themselves from spinning like fired bullets.

After a seemingly endless journey, the pipe abruptly spits Richard and Robo out, sending them into a fall toward a waterway filled with toxic waste. Richard by chance lands on a platform at the pipe's mouth, but is moving so quickly he falls over the edge. Before he can fall into the sludge, Robo fires a series of flexible cables tipped with suction cups, which grab Richard and prevents him from falling down. The robot pulls the Chosen One to safety, and the two of them find themselves outside of the Citadel.

The pair climb a nearby set of stairs to a large pair of double doors, which Richard opens. Inside, he finds a massive glass dome on a circular plinth, with large waves of energy spinning inside the spherical glass. Richard asks what it is, but Robo's sensors are for some reason being repelled. Curious, Richard climbs the plinth and taps the glass. Suddenly, a pure energy bolt is fired from within the glass and knocks Richard back to the ground. Robo rushes to help, but another bolt strikes him and sending him flying back. Behind them, the door suddenly close.

The glass dome begins to rise and the plinth extend, and from inside the globe something resembling a giant eye can be seen. A booming voice is heard, declaring that the sanctity of the Citadel has been broken, and that the defier must answer the Keepr's challenge, for it is the Law. Robo tries to say something, but the Keeper fires another bolt at him and renders the robot silent. Richard is horrified, but the Keerp declares that robots must be deactivated inside the Citadel, for it is the Law.

The Keeper again declares Richard must answer its challenge, but Richard insists Robo is reactivated, at least outside. Finding no conflict, the Keeper opens the doors and uses another energy bolt to send Robo outside. The Keeper then demands that Richard must answer three question within an allotted time without lying. However, even if Richard wins, he will still be destroyed for defiling the Citadel. This is the Law. As Richard ponders how to exploit the Keeper's reliance on his rules, the Keerp begins its questioning.

The Keeper first asks for Richard's name. It then asks Richard if he is the Chosen One. The third question is, perplexingly, "What is inside of you?" Richard is unable to come up with an answer within five time units. The Keeper looks ready to destroy Richard when the Chosen One pleads to ask one question himself. The Law permits one question, so the Keeper allows it. Richard asks the Keeper, "I always lie - and that's the truth. Do I now speak the truth?"

The Keeper screams that it has been tricked, but Richard reminds it that it must answer, because it is the Law. The Keeper struggles to find an answer to the paradox and sends energy through its channels that were never intended to take such a load. All of this diverted heat causes the Keeper to burst into a heatwave as the glass dome suddenly starts to melt. The voice of the Keeper muttering possible answers continues to be heard until the glass dome impodes in a shower of sparks.

Robo, reactivated, re-enters the chamber and declares simply that Richard is indeed the Chosen One. Lying in the wreckage of the Keeper is a small glittering triangle, which Robo states is the Omni Piece. Triumphant, Richard reaches down and picks up the piece. As soon as he does, he feels faint and senses his strength being drained from his body. He almost immediately collapses to the floor and blacks out.

Comments:

For the thirty-third issue of The Ancestral Trail, we finally get to see the MacGuffin of the Cyber World, the Omni Pieces. Introduced way back in issue twenty-nine, the Omni Pieces are the Life Force Pods of this world and will drive Richard around the Cyber Dimension. Of course, the reader will care more about Richard's journey than the actual pieces themselves, similar to how the reader cared more about the Ancestral World than the Pods. This is a common plot device in fantasy fiction, after all. One interesting twist about the Omni Pieces, though, is their apparent deadliness: as soon as he touched the Omni Piece, Richard fell unconscious. So unlike the Pods, which bestowed knowledge and courage, etc., to the Chosen One, it seems these items can kill him.

One thing you may be wondering about is what that strange "panel" is in the last picture above. Is it meant to be there, blocking the artwork like that? Is it some kind of visual game in the Ancestral Trail series, similar to finding Shoomi and Shoobi? In actuality, these panels do play an important part in the Cyber Dimension, but to mention their purpose now would be to spoil things heavily. Their purpose will be revealed eventually, I promise.

Finally, there is one small yet noticeable plot hole that I can't help but wonder about. In the Holotron issue, Richard and Robo entered the citadel inside the giant mountain because it was the only way to get through, and also because inside was the Omni Piece. In doing so, they had to abandon the Cyber Cruiser. However, after destroying the Atomizers (the evil souls) and escaping the Library, Richard and Robo find the Cyber Cruiser waiting for them on the other side. Also, the Omni Piece turns out to be located in Pipe City, far away from the underground fortress.

Progress...? What's that?

2010-04-14T10:01:00.002-04:00

Quick post. Little writing done. Reason? School work. Projects. Research. Upcoming finals. Need to focus. Will get back to writing at end of April. Promise. Until then. Have a good one.

Getting there...

2010-03-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

Another week, another few setbacks. After being out of the loop with this fic so far, it's amazing just how many inconsistencies I'm finding in my writing and how much I've forgotten in the three years since my last published chapter. That, and adding everything into my little project here coherently is still taking longer than I had anticipated, thanks to classes, take-home tests, research, and having a social life.

So what's the best course of action to take? Well, for starters, I'm not planning on addressing the inconsistencies...at least not yet. Those chapters have been written, and they can remain as such until I have a lot more time. For now, I'll simply focus on actually writing the next few chapters and getting everything prepared properly.

As for the next set of chapters, I've decided that publishing a few chapters simultaneously might be the best way of doing things at the moment, at least to tie up this temple arc cleanly. I don't know how many chapters that will take in the end, but it shouldn't be that many. In any case, I should hopefully have something ready within the next few weeks, unless something major prevents me from doing so.

In the meantime, perhaps it might behoove me to see if I can even remember my old Fanfiction.net account settings...

Curses!

2010-03-21T19:49:00.000-04:00

That's what happens when you take too long to file your taxes...*sigh*

It seems that my plan regarding my LoZ fic is taking a bit longer than I had anticipated. I thought that transferring all of these files would be quick and easy, but noooooo, there have to be SOME roadblocks holding me back. In addition to spending most of my time this weekend filing my tax returns, I've discovered that inconsistent formats between files are fairly aggravating, and as a would-be perfectionist, I will not allow this!

On the other hand, at the very least I cam getting back into reporting my status on the fic, which is more than I've done over the past three (or more) years. Hell, I'm currently in the process of writing the next chapter in it. So take heart all you people (all one of you) who still read this blog. When I finally unveil the silly project I'm currently doing (it's not that special...seriously), you might actually have more than one chapter awaiting you when you see it.

Emphasis on might, but at this point, it's looking likely.

So...

2010-03-12T23:35:00.000-05:00

The latest chapter is finished.

Yep.

For reals.

But when will I post it?

Not yet, still working on something concerning that. I'll be busy this weekend, since it's my birthday and all, but I should hopefully have it done within a week. Trust me, you'll all know when this "something" is done. Until then...enjoy this preview:

Rainbow clouds scuttled across the sky as fierce winds filled with sand scratched their way through the atmosphere. Just above the horizon of dunes constantly shifting with the waves of moving air, Din’s magnificent Eye stared down upon the world with a bright orange hue as heat shimmered around its massive frame. Despite the countless natural indications of dawn, the heat that blanketed the ever-changing landscape cried out that it might as well be early afternoon.

Across the vast Gerudo Desert landscape, there were very few landmarks to cast a shadow other than high rising dunes and the sparse cactus plant not choked by the slinking sands. But on this scorching day, there was one particular shadow that moved autonomously, a shadow belonging to a young figure of a muscular build. His movements were slow and calculated, his progress aiming for a small collection of rocks seated in the vast wasteland that was the sand sea.

Upon reaching that island of boulders, the figure carefully scaled its semi-steep walls, his footsteps softly yet inaudibly scraping the sandy walls. Eventually he reached a small plateau halfway up the hill’s height, and the figure peered over the edge of that plateau cautiously and silently.

There! Just as he had guessed, a large hawk lizard lay motionless upon the plateau, bathing in the morning sun. Such a prize, the figure thought. Capturing it would surely impress his teachers, who had scolded him earlier. The lizard looked lazy and sloth-like, but they were in truth very fast creatures, able to dart out of harm’s way in the blink of an eye. If the figure could just get in close enough, however…

Slowly and meticulously, he raised his hand to the height of the plateau. He needed his hand to get close enough for his plan to work, and moving too fast would catch the lizard’s attention. A smile drifted onto the figure’s face. This lizard was not going to get away, he thought. Not a chance.

Just then, the lizard raised its head. The creature’s eyes didn’t see the figure yet, but it had heard something amiss. A glance behind it, and the hawk lizard would see him. His hand had been raised enough, he figured. It was now or never. With cat-like speed, the figure’s hand darted from behind the plateau’s edge toward the lizard…

SQUEEELLLLLSSSHH…

Big announcement...let's see if anyone reads it. Ha!

2010-03-06T17:58:00.002-05:00

Guess who's coming back...

Go on, guess.

Okay, okay, fine, here's a hint:

Yeah. I know. Holy shit.

/Return here March 13
//Seriously

The Ancestral Trail #34: Toxis, Poison Predator

2009-06-19T17:29:00.000-04:00

Caught in the Grip of the Slime Creature

Story:

In the thirty-fourth sector

00010 01100 01111 10111 10011 00111
01001 10110 00101 01110 00101
10001 10101 00001 01100 00010
01100 01111 10111 10011 10010 00101
10100 10101 10010 01110 00111
00101 01110 10100 01100 11001
10100 01111 10111 01001 01110

Blows given equal blows return gently to win

Story

Richard feels nauseous as he slowly opens his eyes, unable to remember where he is for a few moments. Eventually, his memory does return and he hears the familiar sound of Robo performing some kind of scan. Robo declares that Richard is all right and informs the Chosen One that he blacked out because of the Omni Piece. Carbon-based organisms cannot touch it, so Robo offers to carry it and places the glowing item inside a small compartment in the robot's side. Robo then states that they need to leave because without the Keeper,the citadel will collapse.

The pair quickly rush outside as Richard hears the sound of creaking metal and groaning mortar in the citadel. Outside, the cybercruiser is waiting for them. Richard and Robo hop onto the vehicle and climb into the air as the citadel stirs up a massive dust cloud with its destruction. Richard asks Robo for their next destination, and Robo instructs Richard to follow the toxic river that flows through Pipe City. Richard does so, and as he leaves Pipe City behind he notices the river begin to widen. He also notices the large collections of debris and garbage amidst the slime as the cruiser soars over the green muck.

Eventually, Richard notices a pungent smell and asks Robo what it is, but the stench is so powerful that Robo's sensors cannot analyze it. As the smell becomes worse, Richard sees a city in the distance, and upon flying closer to it, Richard notices that the entire city is charred black, from its buildings to the remnants of trees. Behind this city is a tall tower that seems to have escaped destruction. Richard asks Robo what happened, but Robo is unable to answer. Just then, something begins stirring inside the water beneath the cruiser, and a few moments later a massive creature emerges from the slime.

The monster, calling itself Toxis, demands to know who dares defy it before reaching out and plucking the cybercruiser from the air. Richard is forced to remain still as he is examined by the creature, who is disgusted by Richard's cleanliness and holds the cruiser away from its face. Toxis demands to know who Richard is, and Robo answers for him, identifying Richard as the Chosen One, much to Richard's chagrin.

Toxis' face flickers with recognition at the name and his disposition suddenly changes from cranky to sickly sweet. Richard asks Toxis what he wants, and Toxis insists he doesn't want anything and nearly lets the cybercruiser go. But he changes his mind and then says that there is one thing that Richard can do for him. Toxis creates a massive hole inside the toxic river and sets the cruiser down inside, along with Richard and Robo. Toxis then starts explaining to Richard what he can do for him.

Toxis explains that there is something inside the giant tower in the nearby city that he wants: a bauble containing a potion. Because Toxis can't leave the river, Richard has to go fetch it for him. Richard promises Toxis that he will retrieve the item; Toxis, to make sure Richard isn't "slowed down," keeps Robo with him as insurance. The poison predator then lifts Richard onto dry land, though not before the Chosen One reads a new binary message from his companion. Richard quickly sets off for the nearby city. On his way, he notices several pools of liquid on the landscape, similar to the alkali pools that had saved him and Robo from the Hydronomizers.

Eventually, Richard reaches the tower. He draws his sword and pokes inside the open doorway as a precaution. He feels his sword cut something like a rope, and suddenly a giant blade snaps into view at about neck-height across the doorway before vanishing into a narrow slit. The trap disarmed, Richard bursts into a run inside the tower and climbs up the spiral staircase that leads to the top. At the tower's peak, he finds himself on a small platform with no parapet and no bauble in sight. He lays on his stomach and leans carefully over the edge; he sees his prize, sitting inside an alcove surrounded by a forcefield and flanked by stone gargoyles.

As an experiment, he takes his sword and tries to stab the forcefield, but it bounces back at the same force with which he had struck it. Remembering the binary message, Richard attempts a new tactic and slowly slides his hand against the forcefield. He feels his hand slide into the forcefield, which feels like it is burning his hand, but he grits his teeth and carefully grabs the potioin before pulling it out of the forcefield. Wasting no time, he hurries back inside the tower and sprints down the staircase. He hears a loud commotion outside, which is the sound of the four gargoyles coming to life as they shriek in rage of their treasure being stolen.

Outside, Richard rushes through the city back to the slime river, but the gargoyles are beginning to catch up with him. He can see the river up ahead, with Toxis screaming encouragement. Before he can reach the river, however, one of the gargoyles manages to scrape Richard's helment with its poisonous stinger, forcing the Chosen One to take cover underneath a piece of wreckage. As he does, he hears a mighty scream and looks to see Toxis flinging gobs of slime at the gargoyles. As Toxis is distracted with the gargoyles, Richard looks at the vial and formulates a plan inside his head.

Within moments the gargoyles are encased in green slime and Richard emerges from his hiding place. He heads to the river's edge, where Toxis awaits him eagerly. Toxis demands his prize, but Richard insists Robo and the cruiser are freed first. The monster complies, and Richard tosses the beast the vial. Toxis catches the bauble, opens the stopper, and downs its contents greedily. After finishing the drink, Toxis immediately cackles and starts mocking Richard, stating his master the Evil One will be pleased that it is the Chosen One, of all people, that had freed him from his prison.

Richard doesn't seem surprised, which only makes Toxis laugh the more. He states that the potion was the key to his release, and now he is free to cover the Cyber Dimension in filth and purge it of cleanliness. The massive creature then attempts to pull itself out fo the river, prompting Robo to suggest an evacuation of the area. Richard, however, stands his ground and calmly asks Robo what are the contents of the pools of liquid in the area. Robo scans the pools and comes up with an answer, but has Toxis already figured it out.

The beast screams in rage as he realizes that instead of the potion, he had drunk sodium solution, he had drunk soap, which Richard had placed inside the bottle while Toxis had been distracted by the gargoyles. The solution is already affecting Toxis' body and causing the predator's mechanisms to swirl violently. Toxis tries to cover himself in slime, but it is already too late. Soon the monster transforms into a massive whirlpool, which unexpectedly rises into the air like an inverted hurricane.

The slime typhoon grows in strength until the winds begin to suck up Richard, Robo and the cruiser. Richard and Robo try to hang on to something, but the pull of the swirling toxic twister is too strong. But before they are sucked into the massive vortex of green goo, Richard notices that something is pulling them away from the river. At first he thinks Robo has done something, but Rob informs him that a new force has come into play: a worm hole has emerged nearby and is dragging them inside. Robo cannot counter the gravitational pull of the worm hole, and Richard realizes to his horror that the location of the worm hole is where he had emptied the phial of Toxis' potion.

Richard and Robo, unable to do anything else, climb onto the cruiser as the worm hole grows until it encompasses everythinig they can see. The sound of the swirling toxic vortex dissipates and the pair are pulled into the hole's center. Richard closes his eyes as he hangs on.

Comments:

The thirty-fifth issue of The Ancestral Trail starts off with the revelation that the Omni Pieces, the MacGuffins that Richard has to retrieve in the Cyber Dimension, are toxic to the touch for him. This is in stark contrast to the Life Force Pods in the Ancestral World, which helped improve his courage, endurance, and other useful attributes. This toxicity once again reminds me of the theory that this series is a giant metaphor for growing up. If we see the Ancestral World as childhood, then the Cyber Dimension could be seen as the teenage years: in the former, life can be hard but there are those that help you improve and better yourself along the way, but in the latter, such help is much more difficult to come by and can be dangerous if not handled properly.

This issue also ends on a note that highlights just how different the Cyber Dimension is from the Ancestral World. In the Ancestarl World, the entire land is interconnected - while there may be different types of land like snowy mountains and swamplands and rocky craigs, the Cyber Dimension is more of a loose connection of areas that would never work in real life when interconnected. The emergence of the worm hole might explain such disparity in that alternate dimensions could be at play. What fate lies in store for Richard as he is sucked into the deadly gravitational pull of the worm hole?

The Ancestral Trail #32: Husasan, Silicon Samurai

2009-03-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

Duel of Doom with an Android Warrior

Story:

In the thirty-second sector

01100 01001 01011 00101 00001
00011 01000 01001 01100 01100
00101 10011 10100 01000 00101
10011 00001 01101 10101 10010
00001 01001 01000 00001 10011
01111 01110 00101 10111 00101
00001 01011 01110 00101 10011 10011

Like Achilles the samurai has one weakness

Richard watches in horror as the small robot with the chainsaw arms approaches Robo, the teeth of the chainsaw starting to spin rapidly. But the robot reaches past Robo and picks up a piece of metal near Robo's head. The robot's diamond-tipped blades slice through the metal with ease, and the machine then turns around and heads back in the direction it came with its prize.

Richard quietly asks Robo what that machine was, and Robo answers that it is a metal-collecting machine called a dakom. Unfortunately Robo doesn't lower the volume of his voice and the retreating dakom turns around and finally notices the two newcomers. The dakom suddenly fires a laser at Robo, striking his torso and knocking him on his side. Frantically Richard and Robo turn and flee from the dakom, scrambling over the scrap as the dakom purses them and continues firing its lasers.

Richard spots what looks like a service hatch and orders his friend toward it. Just then a much brighter flash of light erupts and when Richard turns he sees that the dakom has been destroyed - Robo had fired his own laser and turned the dakom into scrap. With the dakom out of the way, Richard approaches the hatch and grabs the rusted handles. Robo advises that more dakoms are approaching, which makes Richard tug harder. The service hatch then suddenly pops free and he climbs inside.

Robo squeezes inside as well and Richard closes the door. Robo then fires a beam of light at the door. At first thinking it's his laser, Richard quickly realizes that Robo is actually welding the hatch shut to ensure the other dakoms don't get through. With the dakom threat over, Richard gets his bearings in the large room they have just entered. As he does, he becomes aware of a sound inside, signalling that they are not alone within the dark chamber.

He looks for the source of the sound and his heart sinks when he sees it. Standing not too far away from them is a menacing figure wielding a giant sword and wearing metallic armor. Robo immediately scans the creature and identifies it as Husasan, silicon samurai. Robo also informs Richard that the samurai, currently standing still, is scanning Richard for possible weaknesses.

Richard realizes that he is trapped between Husasan and the dakoms, and before he can weigh the lesser of two evils, Husasan charges straight for him. The samurai stands near Richard and swings his massive sword at the Chosen One. Richard tries to dodge, but the force of the wind alone is enough to knock Richard off his feet. In desperation, Richard rolls along the ground to avoid the blade striking him.

Husasan's sword misses Richard in a hailstorm of sparks. Robo then attemps to attack Husasan by firing his laser, but the laser does no damage to the samurai's armor. Husasan turns his attention to Robo, whose binary panel suddenly outputs a message. Richard quickly translates it, thinks the riddle through, and abruptly realizes the answer. He orders Robo to fire at Husasan's ankle, but Robo is too busy avoiding the samurai's attacks to do so. A forcefield erected by Robo is protecting him from Husasan's blows, but it becomes clear the samurai will get through eventually.

Realizing he had to intervene, Richard takes his sword and swings it at Husasan's back. The sword does little more than bounce off the samurai, who turns to Richard further enraged. Richard takes the chance to scan both of Husasan's ankles and spots what he is looking for: what appears to be some kind of switch on Husasan's right ankle. But he has no chance to attack this weak spot as Husasan starts swinging his blade at Richard. Despite blocking each of the samurai's attacks, Richard recognizes Husasan's superior strength.

Husasan suddenly uses his gloved hand to slap Richard and send him flying through the air. The Chosen One lands on his back but cannot get up before Husasan looms over him and places a boot over his throat, gleefully gloating over his inferior opponent. But Richard is now closer to his adversary's ankle. As Husasan raises his sword into the air, Richard takes his blade and pushes it hard into the switch on Husasan's heel. The samurai speaks for the first time by screaming in agony.

Cracks appear in Husasan's armor as the silicon samurai begins breaking up. Richard squirms from underneath Husasan's boot and tells Robo to withdraw, though Robo reminds his companion to withdraw his sword from Husasan's heel. Richard nods and retrieves his blade as the samurai evaporates into an armor shell. As Richard and his friend flee the decaying Husasan, a ghostly voice could be heard from the remains: "Do not enter the library. Danger." Richard asks what Husasan means, but Robo has no sufficient data to properly respond.

The pair enter a dimly lit tunnel and follow it, noting some foul-smelling green slime. The light grows even dimmer, prompting Richard to ask Robo for some light. The robot responds by shining a torch from one of its panels. Inside the tunnel, Richard can finally see a series of strange paintings of faces on the well. The paintings are sad and sorrowful and their faces seem to follow Richard as he walks past. Suddenly one face speaks up with an other-worldly voice, pleading for the Chosen One to go back.

Richard, shocked, asks the painting who it is. The painting identifies itself as a fragment of light, an echo in time, and again pleas for Richard to turn around. Frightened, Richard instead hurries further down the tunnel. The rest of the paintings come to life and whisper hauntingly to Richard. Eventually the companions reach the end of the tunnel - a pair of metallic doors, which Richard pushes open. Inside, he finds himself ina massive gallery enveloped in blue light.

On the walls were hundreds of glissening glass spheres stacks in numerous piles. Robo indicates that they are in the Library that Husasan had warned them about. Before Richard could ask for clarification, he hears a sobbing sound and realizes it is coming from the glass spheres. He picks up one of the spheres and is amazed to see a human face inside. The face inside speaks to Richard, asking for help.

Richard asks what's going on, and the person inside says that he has been trapped for an eternity by Husasan, who uses him and his fellow trapped beings as his energy source. Richard shrugs and throws the ball to the floor, breaking it and releasing a cloud of smoke. From the smoke steps a human-like figure in the form of a small beautiful child clad in white. The boy introuces himself as Peter in an angelic voice. He informs Richard that he and his friends are floating beings that existed before the Big Bang, and that Husasan has been using them to fuel his power since the beginning of time. Peter, knowing Richard is the Chosen One, pleas for him to break the rest of the spheres.

A chorus of cries erupts from the other spheres as they ask Richard to free them as well. Richard obliges and starts smashing the spheres at a fast rate. Smoke fills the room as more human shapes emerge, and they also help freeing all the captives. Within a short while, all of the glass spheres have been broken.

Richard begins noticing something is wrong when he realizes the smoke smells of rotten egs. Suddenly, a cruel laughter is heard and Richard knows that somethiing is wrong. The angelic form of Peter suddenly emerges and he scoffs at the Chosen One being a fool. There is a flash of light, and the beautiful Peter is replaced with a far more rotten appearance clad in black.

Richard demands to know what is going on, and the new Peter smiles, exposing his rotting teeth. Mentioning the irony of the Chosen One freeing them, Peter informs Richard that they are the remnants of everything evil on the universe, the residue of every cruel act performed in every world and dimension, the echo of everything bad. As thanks for freeing them, Richard will now receive the ultimate reward: becoming one of them. The room fills with smoke once more, and the multitude of figures melt together and congeal into a giant skull-like apparition. The skull orders the Chosen One to approach it.

Story:

The thirty-second issue of The Ancestral Trail is one of the more interesting issues, in my opinion, and it doesn't have much to do with the monster on the cover, Husasan. It actually has a lot to do with the Atomizers*, the creatures that Richard set free inside the Library. These beings are the remnants of every evil act ever performed in the universe and across all dimensions, and I would love it if there had been some further exploration of these monsters. I also find it interesting that Husasan, who appears to be an evil robot initially, was actually guarding the Atomizers and warned Richard not to approach the Library. Despite his enjoyment in trying to kill Richard, Husasan was performing a noble deed in his guarding of the evil beings. Why was Husasan guarding the Library? Did he really use the Atomizers for fuel, or did he guard the Library solely out of some pre-programmed duty?

Another plot-thread left hanging are the paintings inside the narrow corridor before the Library. Who were these paintings, and what was their purpose? Since they warned Richard to go away from the Library, they obviously were not in league with the Atomizers. Could these paintings, like the Atomizers being residue of evil acts, similarly be the resudies of good acts? If so, why did they appear as sad, sorrowful paintings?

Finally, an interesting thing to point out about this issue is the front cover artwork of Husasan. In all of the previous issues, the artwork used on the front cover always appeared in some shape or form inside the issue itself. In this case, Husasan's cover portrait appears nowhere inside the issue. In fact, the cover portrait looks noticeably different from the issue artwork (notice how cover Husasan has green eyes, while the issue Husasan doesn't). My guess is that the cover artwork was some kind of temporary or test artwork that ended up not being used inside the issue but was selected as the cover picture because none of the issue artwork really worked for the cover artwork.

*The name "Atomizers" comes from the trading card that features these creatures on the face. In the issue, these beings do not have a formal name (and still don't in the next issue), so the card makers had to come up with some kind of name for them. While Atomizers sounds like a peculiar title for creatures considered to be the residue of evil throughout the universe, it will be better explained in the next issue.

Go to # 33 - Terraforma, Environmorpher

Now it seems your dancin' feet are always on my couch

2008-09-09T22:58:00.002-04:00

So perhaps one post a day is a bit too much. Still, at least I'm keeping myself fixed on it this time.

Unfortunately, the past week or so has been bad for writing, so nothing's gotten accomplished in that department. I'm still trying to settle into a groove concerning my classes, and I still have a bit of a ways to go before I can structure out the time I need to get some serious writing done. Still, things are looking up, at least. Now, i can at least recognize that time is available.

One of the big things I'm trying to do right now is find a good yet cheap bicycle. The parking at UCF during the day is awful - I often find myself driving around for 45 minutes to find a spot. Since I live about a mile from campus, a bike would be ideal to travel there. However, I want a good bike this time. I bought a Wal Mart bike when I was at OU over three years ago, and it fell apart after a year of usage. I don't want crap like that anymore, I want a good bike. Still, I've discovered that good bikes go for around $200+, and I'm not exactly wanting to spend that much. All I need is a good bike for commuting, one that's comfortable and sturdy (and cheap). Hopefully I can find one within the next few days, because driving up to campus at eight in the morning every day to beat the parking rush is getting tiring.

Until next time, have a good one.

Get a good job with good pay and you're okay

2008-09-02T22:58:00.003-04:00

Not much to say tonight. Today's been mostly dealing with some issues that have cropped up. Hopefully I'll be able to resolve them within the next couple days, if not by tomorrow. Needless to say, nothing else got done, sadly.

Until next time, have a good one.

It's a holiday, pardom me as I celebrate

2008-09-01T18:20:00.002-04:00

College football is underway (finally!) and with it comes the joy of rooting for your team while praying they won't suck as much as you assume they did last season. For me, it's time to see if the Oklahoma Sooners can actually overcome that accursed bowl game hump that's afflicted them the past five BCS games. I mean, aside from a thrilling defensive-stop in the Holiday Bowl against Oregon in 2005, there hasn't been much to cheer about lately in Sooner Land when it comes to the bowls. Losing to LSU in 2003 and being thrashed by UCS in 2004 was bad enough, but then to play Goliath to the David that was Boise State in 2006 and be humiliated by West Virginia in 2007...Bobby Stoops had better right the ship this year or some fans might actually *gasp* consider the probability of possibily finding the coals that maybe will be used to warm a hot seat for him.

But hey, as long as Stoops continues to beat Texas and expand his ever-growing Big XII Championship collection, he should be fine. Still, winning a BCS game every now and then sure wouldn't hurt, now would it?

The video game that's been occupying my time lately (and by "time," I mean 2 hours a day at most, in an effort to curb my procrastination) is Final Fantasy X-2. The reason why I'm playing it, oh, three hundred years after it was first release is simple: I had no desire to pick it up when it was first released. Now, I recognize that die-hard Final Fantasy fans hate FF X, about as much as they hate FF VIII (which I can understand). And yet I enjoyed FF X. Sure, it wasn't very deep and it abused its use of cinematics quite a bit, but overall I found it a very enjoyable experience. Now, I'm not going to say it's the best game in the series (god, no!), but it certainly left a good impression on me by the time I finished it (maybe it was those environments, because it certainly wasn't the mediocre voice acting).

Still, why pick up FF X-2 so long after finishing FF X? Well, buying it for $10 at Gamestop doesn't hurt. So here I am, playing through the first "true" sequel in the Final Fantasy series, and so far it's...well, it's all right. It's nothing deep (when one of the biggest selling points is a trio of hot-looking babes, things rarely are), but it hasn't done anything to make me toss my controller out the window. I'm not yet sure how I feel about the nonlinear mode of gameplay, but at least it has the courage to be different and not rehash the same thing. I'll need to play the thing more to fully gauge what the game is like, but I'm optimistic it'll hold my interest to the end, where Skies of Arcadia: Legends awaits me.

Concering my LoZ fic, I've finally started writing again, and wow, it's been a long time. I couldn't get much actual writing done because it's been a while since I wrote the last chapter, so I've mostly spent my time breezing through previous chapters. One thing that stood out for me is how poor my writing is, laced with repeating sentences and countless examples of purple prose. I can only hope I can improve things with my later chapters.

Until next time, have a good one.

LoZ: OoT: Chapter 62 - 1%

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

2008-08-31T21:16:00.003-04:00

In high school, my contemporary American history teacher once commented that if you tried to compare your current self to a version of yourself even three years past, you would not recognize your younger self. These words stuck with me for some reason, and sitting where I am now, I can't help but recall them.

Three years ago, I was a fifth-year college senior getting ready to graduate from the University of Oklahoma, a shy nerd and a shut in who preferred to watch DVDs than do anything involving human contact. Today, I'm a first-year PhD student at the University of Central Florida, still a self-proclaimed nerd but now actively attempting to make some friends and is within the first few months of a relationship with a wonderful gal. I dare say if I met my three year younger self, I would not recognize him.

The past several months have certainly been some of the most dynamic of my life. The whole summer was dedicated to finishing a Masters thesis on a topic so esoteric that most people blink in bewilderment when I try to describe it to them. Overlapping that research, writing, and defending period of time was getting ready to move down to Orlando, approximately 1200 miles away from the state I've lived in for 11 years. And here I am, sitting in a place rented out with a roommate and into my first week of classes at UCF while still coming to grips with this entire new chapter in my life.

With that new chapter comes, I feel, a much needed overhaul of my writing schedule. It's no secret that my writing output these past few years has been minimal at best nonexistent at worst. And when I say "writing," I of course refer to a certain fan fic that I started working on during my first few years as an undergrad at OU. When I started writing it, I saw it as nothing more than a love letter to one of my favorite video games of all time, a novelization of the N64 classic Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I didn't think it would ilicit that much of a response when I posted the first few chapters on fanfiction.net, but instead sit among literally dozens of OoT novelizations that were posted on that site.

Boy, was I wrong.

With each successive chapter I posted to the fic, more and more people were reading it. Even now I'm amazed at how many people read the fic, and I felt very grateful at the number of people who enjoyed the story despite my unrefined writing style. I can remember feeling a sense of excitement with each chapter I wrote, and any criticism towards a story point or my writing style I gladly accepted to better myself as a writer.

So what happened, exactly?

The short answer is that I got lazy. Sure, other reasons were also applicable, including a heavy case of writer's block and a need to focus more on my studies as my work load grew more heavy, but none of that should explain why I haven't seriously updated the fic for well over two years. No, I can point the finger squarely at myself for why updates haven't been made to this fic, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Despite the semblence of truth found in my teacher's observation I stated above, one thing about me hasn't changed all that much: my profound ability to procrastinate. I can still remember several instances in college where I had an enormous project or homework assignment due, and I only started it the day before it was due. Hell, if my research professor hadn't kept an eye on me, I would've only started writing my Masters thesis a month before I was due to defend it. Even now I feel the urge to put things off, despite the fact that it will seriously hurt me somewhere down the line if I don't address it.

Well, I think it's time to address it. I think it's time to realize that I can no longer sit around and waste my time for no bloody reason. It's time for me to, to use a more colorful expression, get off my ass stir some shit up. And that includes getting back to work on that OoT fic. It's about time I finished what I started all those years ago and give back to all those people who've patiently (and not so patiently) waited for me to give them something deserving of their praise-worthy devotion to this pet project of mine. I can only hope I'll match that intensity with my writing - they deserve that much from me, and nothing less.

So, during this week, I shall finally get started on writing the next chapter of my fic. On top of that, I'm going to try and write something in this blog every day (or close to it). And as part of every entry, I'll include a progress report at the bottom that indicates how far I am with writing that chapter. With any luck, someone stumbling upon this pathetic blog of mine will see it and decide to keep me from relaxing so I can actually finish it. Let's see how that goes.

So, without further ado, it's time for me to sign off for today. Until next time, have a good one!

LoZ: OoT: Chapter 62 - 0%

Hmm, I need some work...

2008-05-30T21:19:00.002-04:00

Apparently, my time-management sucks. So far I've been able to do little with the time I have after writing my thesis. I really should look into doing something to manage my time better, like write out a schedule or get someone to make sure I'm doing something other than watching the NBA post-season (go Celtics!). Well, I still have about two months to sort things out before I have to defend my thesis, so with any luck I can get something going...hopefully.

Oh, and by the way, I'm moving to Florida at the end of the summer. Goodbye, Norman, hello, Olando!

A 1022-page chore

2008-05-13T01:14:00.003-04:00

One of the (many) things I'm trying to do these days is to read every night for at least an hour. My school work previously had rendered reading a luxury, but recently I've managed to find the time to read a book for just a little bit of time every evening. Most of the stuff I read is speculative fiction (read: fantasy and sci-fi, with a sprinkle of horror every now and then), and for the longest time that was basically all that I read.

That is, until the past month-and-a-half, during which I read one of the longest and more sluggish books I've ever read in my entire life. That book, my friends, is the Holy Bible.

Now, I must make it perfectly clear that I am not a Christian. I am not even a religious person; I instead consider myself nonreligious. Then why did I choose to read the Bible? Two reasons. First, I once was a Christian (a Methodist, specifically), and the most I had ever read of the Bible were short verses read aloud in Sunday School and youth group; I decided that reading the Bible as a nonreligious person would be a good opportunity to see exactly what the religious believe, as well as give Christianity one more chance to convince me of its beliefs (it didn't). Second, I've heard from many prominent atheists and Christians alike that most Christians have never actually the Bible beyond the most basic verses, so to read the Bible from cover to cover would be to do something many people of the Christian faith had never done.

I could use this opportunity to go into a long-winded review of the Bible and my deep thoughts on its contents, but I won't. Instead I will simply say that after closing the book upon the final page of Revelation, I can understand why many Christians have not read their most holy book entirely. The Bible, to put it bluntly, is a chore to read. It starts off interesting enough with some amazing stories in Genesis and the first half of Exodus, but things quickly go downhill when in the second half of Exodus it discusses the exact building materials and methods of the Tabernacle...twice!

Then comes Leviticus, where most Christians probably toss in the towel when trying to read through the whole Bible, as the book is merely a laundry list of laws that mostly don't apply to modern society. If they survive Leviticus and the almost equally mind-numbing Numbers, readers can later look forward to 1 and 2 Chronicles, which is a Cliff Notes version of the two Samuels and the two Kings. And how about Psalms, which is like reading a hymn book without the notes? And let's not forget about all of those prophets - Amos, Habbakuk, Obadaiah, etc. - who basically repeat the same stuff over and over.

Then, upon getting through the Old Testament, which takes up about 7/10s of the Bible, the reader can begin the New Testament, where upon reading the story of Jesus four times in a row, he can read all of those letters to various churches across the globe before finishing with the visual trip that is Revelation.

So what I'm saying here is that the Bible is not an easy book to read in one go. If one were to choose to read the Bible from cover to cover, he must be prepared. Reading the Bible isn't easy, but then I'd imagine that it isn't supposed to be. But even with that knowledge, the Bible is perhaps the most plodding book I've ever read through (though that title might be challenged when I read Tolkien's The Simarillion later on).

And yet, despite my overall thoughts on the Bible, I consider reading it to be a satisfying one. Though I do not believe in its contents, it was quite interesting to learn where many of Christianity's ideologies come from, and to understand why some people believe what they believe. And while it is a selfish reason, it's also satisfying to know that I've done something that many Christians haven't done, something that I feel all Christians should do if they are to properly acquaint themselves with their religion.

When I started reading the Bible, I considered later on reading other religious texts - the Koran and the Book of Mormon seemed the most likely candidates - but after finishing the Bible I think I'll hold off on those possibilities for a while. Right now, I'm in the mood to read something a bit more enjoyable. Plague Dogs, here I come!

Time to get started again...

2008-05-11T23:37:00.002-04:00

Last week was quite a full week for me. On top of finishing a final project for my "Intermediate Dynamics" class and trying to get some results from my research code, I've been swamped with getting started on my thesis and prepping everything to graduate by the end of this summer. Everything is far from finished, but I feel I'm now at the point where I don't have to feel pinched all the time.

That's not to say that writing my thesis isn't going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. Far from it, in fact. Even though I enjoy writing, my professor has made it clear that my thesis writing is terrible. It's a tough pill to swallow, but one I must swallow if I'm to improve enough to get a thesis past my committee. These next couple months are going to be writing hell, but if I schedule things properly (like I've never done before), I should manage well.

Along with writing my thesis, I'm hoping to get some other writing in as well, including some original works and that LoZ fic. With any luck, I should be able to crank out some material and not blow all of my free time on Grand Theft Auto IV. Here's hoping...

First half of Ancestral Trail: DONE!

2008-04-27T02:12:00.003-04:00

Well, it's finished...half, at least.

After god knows how many years, I finally finished the summaries for the first 26 issues of The Ancestral Trail by posting issues 24-26 earlier today. Granted, I was hoping to get them up last weekend, but that didn't happen. In any case, the first half of the series is complete, and the second half in the Cyber Dimension will begin soon. Twenty-six more issues...can't wait to post them up and help some people relive the memories of reading these things all those years ago.

In other news, 65 pages of my script for the ScriptFrenzy event have been finished, which is far below what I wanted to have written. Today being August 27, that leaves only four days to hammer out the final 45 pages needed to meet the 100-page requirement, which means over 11 pages a day to get the thing done on time.

Truthfully, I'm not sure if I can reach that limit, though it's not too much of a loss. The script I have out so far is utter crap, and I don't see myself tuning or reworking on it once the competition ends. Still, it did give me some motivation to get back into writing, and once the month ends, I should be returning to other writing projects that mean a little more to me, such as that Legend of Zelda fic people keep (rightfully) bugging me about.

So, when will I update that Legend of Zelda fic?

2008-04-22T00:41:00.002-04:00

Well, that didn't take very long.

Only a couple posts into my new attempt to post in this blog more often, and already a couple of folks have left comments asking the question that seems to be on a lot of people's minds: when in god's name am I going to finish that Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time fic?

By now, the latest hiatus for the fic's updates has lasted...oh, well over a year now, perhaps even a year and a half, which has left some people very unhappy with me. Believe me, those two comments in my previous entry were not the only ones I've received over the past 12+ months. My email box has gotten an email asking the aforementioned question at least once a month now, reminding all the time that I'm an utter failure for doing something that (apparently) many people are waiting for me to do.

So why haven't I updated for so long? What excuse do I have for the hiatus? Without going into details, the reasons for the lack of updates boil down these three points:

- Working on my Masters program and thesis
- Terrible cases of writer's block
- General procrastination and laziness

I won't try to justify my lack of updating the fic, I'll just say I understand a lot of people are upset with me and I want to make it up to them as best I can. So, with that said, when will the fic be updated again?

I cannot say. I've decided not to set any kind of timetables for updates anymore, because my life is so up and down right now that I don't want to make promises I can't keep. At best, what I can say is that the best time for me to resume work on it will be next month, since I've got a few other projects on the forefront at the moment. I'm currently trying to get back into the groove of writing before I tackle the LoZ fic again, and once I feel comfortable writing more consistently, I should be ready to update the fic on a consistent basis again. Again, I can't give a definitive timetable for that, but with any luck updates should be starting back soon.

To all the fans of the fic who have impatiently waited for me to write another chapter, I sincerely apologize for my lack of direction this past year and a half. If you have any patience left inside you, I hope to reward you with more updates eventually. Until then, the best thing you can do right now is to continue to write me, either in comments in this blog or through my email address. If you continue to makes your feelings heard, I should be held accountable for my actions, which should push me to get things moving again. You are all the reason I continued to write that fic that one day popped in my head all those years ago, so you should at least have a say in making me get off my ass and get things moving again.

Until next time, have a good one!

Wait, my PS3 can browse the tubes?

2008-04-16T23:15:00.003-04:00

I'll admit it - I'm one of the guys who bought a PlayStation 3 early on. I'm one of the guys who spent $600 on one of those machines despite the fact that the Xbox360 already had a huge share and the Wii was becoming this generation's Tickle Me Elmo. Looking back, I think I made the right choice. While the PS3 still isn't setting the console world on fire, it's doing a lot better than it did initially (not helped at all by Sony's wretchedly esoteric marketing campaign), meaning decent games are starting to find their way onto the console. Also, I bought a version of the console that has both a fairly large hard drive and good backwards compatibility, something Sony "brilliantly" decided to stop supporting recently. True, I use the system more for my PS2 games than my small collection of PS3 games, but that's because I'm waiting for Sony to start its inevitable Greatest Hits lineup for the PS3, dropping those $60 Blu-Ray discs to a manageable sum. Once that happens, I look forward to plunking down a reasonable sum for games like Motorstorm and Heavenly Sword, games that I feel should only be bought at such cheaper prices.

Yet despite owning my PS3 for well over a year now, I never took advantage of its online capabilities. This was mainly due to the fact that I couldn't even get it online in the first place. The only means I had of connecting the PS3 to the intrawebs was a wired connection directly linked to the modem (leaving my laptop without internet access, unfortunately), and yet nothing I did made the PS3 recognize the connection. So, I just gave up and waited.

Then came last week, when I decided to buy myself a wireless router. Thinking it might be nice to have the internet through the air instead of through a wire in my apartment, I plunked down the dough for a Linksys WRT54G2 router (it looks dark and menacing and evil, so I named it Dark Linky). Despite Linksys' inability to provide setup instructions for a MacBook Pro, I managed to get the wireless router up and running, leaving my laptop free to roam the studio apartment. But then I wondered, what if my PS3 might actually work?

Deciding to give it a shot, I hooked my PS3 directly to the router and turned the thing on. One quick journey through the internet setup and...boom! Instant access! My PS3 came to life! It was almost insulting how easy it was to connect through the router. I still have no idea why it didn't work through the modem, but now that the PS3 is connected, I don't care to find out.

So now that I have an internet connection, what to do with it? It was then that I remembered reading on IGN about a PS3-exclusive online-only game called Warhawk, which anyone can play online for free through Sony's online network. Deciding to give it a shot, I stopped by the nearest Gamestop and bought a used copy of Warhawk. Back at home, after going through the online registration process, I popped the disc in and logged into the game.

Five days later, I am kicking myself for not getting this game earlier. It is absolutely amazing. It reminds me of the time I spent playing Dune 2000 and Warcraft II (yes, Warcraft was once an offline game series, remember) in the computer labs at my high school. Sure, I got killed a lot by the other players (I still do), but that sweet satisfaction of taking down a soldier with a flamethrower or blowing him to bits with a grenade or blasting a Warhawk cruiser to bits with a missile...it just puts a big smile on my face. As long as Sony keeps these servers going, I should be playing this game for quite some time.

Also, now that I have my PS3 online, I'm wondering what other games I can get connected to the tubes. Motorstorm, while having a fairly shallow single-player, is pretty damn good as a multiplayer game, I've heard, though I'd rather wait for the price to go down on that one. There's also Grand Theft Auto IV coming out this month, which apparently has a kick-ass multiplayer attached. If that game is as good as I'm hoping it to be, I just might bite the bullet and spend the $60 on that one.

Until then, I can't wait to surprise someone with a TOW missile while hovering on the outskirts of the map, hehe.

Blogger fixes their mistake...sort of...

2008-04-14T20:20:00.003-04:00

Well, at least they were relatively quick.

After brandishing my Ancestral Trail blog as a spam blog, blogger responded to my automated appeal to rethink their gaffe and corrected their mistake. Now I no longer need to type out a character password every time I need to post, edit, or delete something on the AT blog, which is always good. And hopefully they made sure such a mistake wouldn't happen again, like putting the blog address one some kind of white list of blogs that have checked out.

Still, the AT blog didn't escape entirely unscathed. During the time I discovered it had been branded as a spam blog, the pictures in the entry for Dagmar, Demon of Fire had been erased, probably because Blogger didn't want spam images in its servers. After removing the spam label from my blog, I discovered that the images were still missing, thus forcing me to re-upload them all. Thankfully, I still had the images on my hard drive, so I didn't have to rescan and reedit anything. Still, it makes me wonder if Blogger really does permanently delete images from possible spam blogs - how would other people feel if they lose pictures from their blogs and they can't ever get them back for whatever reason?

In any case, I can return to work on the Ancestral Trail summaries again without fear of erasing any data. With any luck, I should be able to write and upload everything for the final three issues this weekend, bringing the first half of the series to a close and starting the second series.

Fresh Beginnings: Part Deux

2008-04-12T23:51:00.004-04:00

So I've decided to start writing in this blog again...

Yeah, I know I tried doing that...what, two, three years ago? Long time, I know. Still, I somewhat miss the days when I jotted down any and all random thoughts and goings-on in this blog, so I'm going to give it another shot and see if I can start doing it on a consistent basis again. If not, then I'll look forward to the next time I try again.

And with that unnecessary intro out of the way, time to get to the discussin'.

- Quite a few people have been coming to my blog not in hopes of catching me writing something trivial and inane (surprise), but because I've been updating my Ancestral Trail blog quite a bit recently. I'm trying to update it once a week on the weekends, and while I haven't kept to that schedule 100%, I have managed to update it fairly often. With any luck, I should be able to finish it this year.

Today, I felt pretty generous and came to the decision to update it with not one, not two, but three entries, thereby ending the first half of the series. Unfortunately, those updates didn't come today. Why, one may ask? Well, the fine folks at Blogger came to the brilliant decision that my AT blog is a spam blog. How they came tot his decision, I'll never know, but that's what their automated software decided. And because of this, all of my entries now require a code typed in before they can be posted. But the worst part? Pictures are disabled. That's right. I tried updating the entry on Dagmar, Demon of Fire, and all of the pictures I had posted in that entry are now gone. Whether they've been wiped from the server or not I'll have to wait and see, but thankfully the rest of the blog's pictures are still safe.

Of course, this ridiculous lock on my blog means I can potentially wipe out a lot of hard work if I'm not careful, so I used Blogger's feature that politely informed them that my AT blog is not of the spam variety. With any luck, they'll respond to it quickly and life the spam designation. Until then, I'm not planning on updating the AT entries for a while.

And I was so looking forward to finishing those three entries today, too.

- A lot of people are no doubt familiar with National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. For those who aren't, it's an annual event where writers attempt to write a 50,000+ word novel during the 30 days of November. The stress of this task is somewhat relieved in that the goal of the event is quantity, not quality, meaning the novel can be the biggest piece of crap imaginable and it would still qualify as long as surpasses 50,000 words. There is no prize, except the satisfaction pulling off such a monumental and possibly insane feat.

For two years now I've attempted this event, and both years I fell short. Way short. It irks me that I couldn't do it, especially since I took every precaution I could to make the time to write. But no, both times I succumbed to laziness and both novels ended up in the dustbin of my mind.

This month, I'm hoping to change that. NaNoWriMo has a sister event called ScriptFrenzy in which the same basic idea of quantity-writing takes place over the month of April. But instead of a 50,000-word novel, the goal is a 100-page script. Since I've never written a script in my life before, I had to do a bit of reading up on how a script is written. Then, after feeling confident, I fired up the word processor on April 1st and started writing.

Already I can tell that my script is utter garbage. The story is cliche, the characters are 2D caricatures, and the dialogue is worth of a George Lucas prequel. But since the goal is quantity, I couldn't care less about something as trivial as quality for this project. So far I've written about 49 pages, which is well ahead of the necessary 3 and 1/3 pages a day minimum to complete a 100+ page script in 30 days. If I can write at least 4 pages a day, I should be able to finish the script well before the end of the month. So far, I've kept that minimum, and hopefully I'll maintain it all the way through.

What do I hope to get out of this exercise? Two things spring to mind: first, the satisfaction that I finally finished something like this and I can look forward to November's NaNoWriMo event with more confidence; and second, I can snap myself out of a funk of procrastination and pussyfooting and general laziness that affects me these days. But there's another, even more important reason: this exercise has helped rekindle my love of writing, and with any luck I can become more productive in that area later on.

The Ancestral Trail #23: Dagmar, Demon of Fire

2008-03-30T20:02:00.009-04:00

Flames of Fury over Yellow Stone Peaks

Story:

On the Twenty-Third Day...

Beware the fire from demon sprung
By the bridge so weakly slung.
From the danger bravely run
The fight has only just begun.
Remember well what legends say,
There is a green hill far away.
The path you seek as hard you may,
But evil 'tis that rules the day.

The trio flail haplessly through the air as the hot currents carry them upward. Then, without warning, the hot air ceased and left the three friends to fall to the ground with a thud. A short distance away from where they land, they see a large patch of freshly turned soil where Loktar's pyramid once lay.

After catching their breath, the three consult the next riddle of the Book of Prophecies and continue on their journey, hearding for a range of yellow mountains in the distance. Their trek eventually leads them to a deep chasm in the mountains, the only path available being a wood and rope bridge spanning the divide. Realizing they have no other choice, Richard, Orkan, and Melek step onto the bridge.

At first their journey across the bridge is uneventful, but as they reach the midpoint, the worst thing possible happens. The ropes holding the planks together suddenly disintegrate and the wooden slats begin falling apart. Finally, the main cords linking the bridge break loose. Richard orders his friends to grab one of the ropes, and they do just as the rope swings them across the chasm. They chose the right rope, for theirs holds while the other rope snaps and falls down into the river below.

The three rested momentarily after experiencing the shock of hitting the cliff side, but they choose not to hang around for long and begin climbing. Eventually, Richard reaches the edge of the cliff and reaches to pull himself up. Suddenly, a jet of fire appears from behind him and strikes the rock face nearby. He turns around and sees a demon-like creature flying through the chasm, fire spitting from its mouth. The beast slows down and sends another stream of flame in Richard's direction, hitting close enough to sear the rope. The monster prepares for another attack to finish off the trio.

Just then, a battle-cry shriek fills the skies and large shrieks erupt overhead. Richard looks up to see the demon is now fighting with another creature: a giant red-feathered bird, which also spat first, though its flame is a brilliant blue. Richard is stunned by the scene for a moment, but remembers their predicament and climbs onto the cliff. He helps Orkan and Melek get up as well and the three hide behind some rocks to watch the battle.

The sky is filled with red and blue lights as the demon and bird try to roast each other in their flames. Eventually, after a long battle, the demon gives in and shoots like a bullet over the mountains in escape. Victorious, the red-plumed bird swoops down and lands near the trio. The female bird then speaks, revealing to Richard and his friends that she is Dion the Firebird, and she was sent to help them in their quest by Oganga.

Richard is relieved to hear Oganga had survived his battle with Boltor, and asks Dion if she has any news. Dion first gives the identity of the creature that had attacked: Dagmar, the Evil One's demon of fire. She says many forces are gathering to Golan outside the Ancestral City, and Juroot had overcome cannibal chief Zock, bringing the dwarf forces out of the Evil One's spell. Richard tells Dion that he only has one more pod to find, and Dion informs him that the final pod is in a place called Wizard's Well, past a place called Sorcerer's Falls.

Before Dion can say more, they hear the sound of wings beating and look to see Dagmar shooting a jet of flame in their direction. They dodge the fire and look up to see Dagmar now perched on a nearby crag. Sneering, Dagmar begins grabbing rocks with his claws and hurling them away, unearthing the lair of a small creature. As the creature tries to escape, Dagmar strikes out with one of its claws, grazing it. Richard thinks the creature escaped, until it falls to the ground in agony from the poison in Dagmar's claws.

Dagmar then fires again at the trio, who dodge and ready to attack. Orkan fires several arrows at the demon, but though they strike Dagmar's hide the creature is completely unaffected by them. Dion yells at her friends to run, since only she can fight him. She hurriedly gives Richard directions to Sorcerer's Falls before lifting into the air. Dagmar, seeing his adversary move, roars before chasing after her. Within moments the firebird and demon are locked in combat once more.

Seizing the chance Dion gives them, the trio flee from the battle scene in the direction pointed out to them. They eventually exit the yellowy peaks of the mountain, but even then the sights and sounds of the fierce battle are still visible and audible.

The three manage to follow a vague path leading out of the mountains, but soon they simply cross a path-less barren field of stone. In the distance they see a rocky outcrop, and far away they can hear the sound of falling water. Richard gets an intimate sense of the land ahead and says that Sorcerer's Falls is in that direction. As he points this out, a large shadow suddenly emerges behind them from the sun.

Orkan yells that Dagmar is back, but when the shadow's owner lands on the ground, they see the owner is actually Dion, whose beautiful body has been scorched beyond recognition. Dion informs Richard that Dagmar is dead, but he hurt her too badly to help them. Richard informs her that they know Sorcerer's Falls is ahead, and the trio part ways with the firebird, who plans on heading to the Ancestral City after resting for a while.

The three head again towards the rocky outcrop, finding and following a river in hopes of reaching a waterfall somewhere in the mountain. They follow the river uphill until they turn around a corner and find themselves face to face with a massive waterfall.

Unfortunately, they see no pathway for them to progress any further. With a sinking heart, Richard tries listening for Golan's voice through the amulet, but nothing is heard.

Characters:

[Coming next update]

Comments:

With the twenty-third issue of The Ancestral Trail, the story begins to wind down to its inevitable conclusion. All but one of the Life Force Pods have been found, and the location of the final pod is revealed by the firebird Dion - even the location is known. Also remaining is one more captured guardian yet to be freed, so where will the three heroes find this final guardian, who we assume is of the Common Beasts?

As the main creature of the issue, Dagmar proves to be a creature of potential. He is called the Evil One's demon of fire, which is an intriguing title. What kind of work did Dagmar do for his evil master, and why does the demon reside inside these isolated yellow mountains? Perhaps the Evil One finally sent out one of his creatures to stop Richard, and the attack was only thwarted when Dion arrived.

Also in this issue, the previous pod's characteristic is associated when Richard looks at the distant crag where Sorcerer's Falls is located. According to the story, "Richard felt he had an intimate knowledge of the land ahead." Therefore, the pod Richard found in Loktar's tomb is the Pod of Knowledge.

As a final and personal note, the name Dion carries a bit of a different connotation for me. Most people might associate the name with the Canadian singer Celine Dion, but for me the name Dion is the same as a popular shopping store chain in South Africa. And since the original author of The Ancestral Trail, Frank Graves, is a fellow South African, I find that connection strangely amusing.

Quotes:

"Grab hold of this rope!"

-Richard

"Thank goodness I got here in time. I am Dion, the Firebird. You had a narrow escape. I should have been here sooner. Oganga sent me to help you in your search."

-Dion

"Your arrows are useless against Dagmar. The battle must be between him and me - you must all leave now, and finish your quest."

-Dion

"I'll be okay. Dagmar's dead, but he almost finished me off too. I won't be able to help you know. I'll rest here for a while then get back to the Ancestral City to get my wounds taken care of."

-Dion

Go to #24 - Syrus, Spirit of the Sky

The Ancestral Trail #22: Zyton and the Curse of Loktar

2008-03-18T20:00:00.012-04:00

Sinister Steps in the Chambers of Fear

Story:

On the Twenty-Second Day...

Deep in geometric gloom
Do not open long-sealed tomb.
The curse of Evil then will fall,
Not on one, but surely all.
Seek instead the golden prize
That evil guards with six-fold eyes.
Follow where alone he goes.
Above, the prize. Below? Who knows?

As Richard and Melek gape in astonishment at Melek's sudden disappearance, the stone from which the scribe had fallen tips back into place. Orkan proceeds to prod the area where Melek disappeared, but Richard warns him not to get too close. With caution, they search the area, but all they can find are Melek's glasses. Unable to find anything on the hilltop, they climb down the slope and search the hill base, but they find no sign of their friend.

After a while, they regrettably abandon their search. Orkan bemoans the loss of the Book of Prophecies; Richard quickly snaps at him for dismissing Melek over the book. Hoping Melek would head for the pyramid wherever he was, Richard leads Orkan down to the valley floor, through dense trees. The pyramid grows closer with each step, the details of its shiny surface becoming more clear as the distance shortens.

Upon reaching the pyramid's base, Richard pulls out the Path Finder and point it at the structure, walking around the building to find an entrance. Eventually the arrow glows at a slab at the base, but Orkan and Richard can't get it open no matter how hard they push. They think for a moment and consider that maybe the actual entrance is a little higher than they think. Looking up, they see an indented slab in the pyramid. Orkan climbs on Richard's shoulders and feels out the slab - a soft click is heard and the slab slides open.

Orkan climbs into the newly opened passage and pulls Richard up to him. The two of them then head inside a lobby, a door on the far end. They head for the door, but their progress is halted when the floor beneath them suddenly descends, taking them with it. The floor carries them down like an elevator, carrying them deep into the structure's basement, before the lift finally slows down and stops. Richard and Orkan find themselves in a new chamber, which possessed only one item: a block of stone covered by a flat lid.

Without consulting the Path Finder, Richard believes the pod is inside the stone tomb and heads toward it. The lift that brought them to the chamber heads back up as the duo get off, leaving them trapped inside with no noticeable way out. Upon reaching the tomb, Richard begins looking for a way to open it. As he does, Orkan heads a sound on far end of the chamber and looks over the tall stone block. To his horror, a three-headed lizard-like creature is approaching the tomb from the center of the chamber. The strange beast sees Orkan and immediately charges.

Just as Orkan orders Richard to get away, Richard suddenly finds a switch on the tomb and presses it. The lid of the tomb begins to open. The three-headed creature sees the tomb opening and stares in horror before without warning turning and running to the far end of the tomb, disappearing without a trace. Richard, who didn't see the monster, is forced to hear Orkan reveal what had happened, and both wonder why the monster turned tail.

Before they could discuss it further, they hear a sound near the lift. The stone elevator suddenly drops down and a figure steps off, sending the lift soaring back up. It's Melek, calling out for Richard and Orkan. His friends, stunned to see their friend back, rush over to him, asking him where he had been.

Melek tells them that the slide had taken him into a maze of underground tunnels. Through sheer luck, he had managed to find an exit, after which he could consult the Book of Prophecies. He had then rushed to the pyramid to warn his friends not to open the tomb. Melek was able to read the inscriptions on the pyramid's outer wall, and the hieroglyphics tell exactly what curse is upon the pyramid. The tomb is that of a man called Loktar, guarded by a three-headed monster called Zyton. Should the tomb be opened, a self-destruction mechanism is activated that will cause the pyramid to sink into the ground.

Melek quickly realizes from Richard and Orkan's horrified faces that the tomb has been opened. The three quickly try to close the half-opened slab, but the mechanism won't allow them as a death-like stench wafts from inside the stone. Richard remembers Zyton's escape and the three of them head to where the creature had disappeared. A quick search of the floor leads them to a worn stone tile, and when Orkan presses it a door opens in the wall. The three enter the new passage to a flight of stairs and Richard presses another switch to close the door. As he does, he notices a hand emerging from Loktar's tomb.

The trio head up the stairs as swiftly as they could, but it doesn't take long for them to hear the sound of the door open at the bottom of the stairs, the stench of Loktar's rotting body signaling his corpse is chasing them. The three press on until they find themselves at a dead end. Richard quickly pulls out the Path Finder and quickly finds it glowing upward. They look up and see a metal grill just above their heads.

Wasting no time, Richard unbuckles Kika's belt. The magical item shoots up and wraps around the bars before lengthening downward for Richard, who gives the belt a sharp tug. The tug causes the metal bars to burst apart, providing a way out. Richard goes first and climbs out onto the edge of the pyramid. To one side he sees his prize: a Life Force Pod, sitting in a small niche. He grabs the pod and pockets it.

As he takes the pod, the pyramid suddenly begins lurching and sinking into the ground. Orkan and Melek climb out of the passageway to join Richard, and moments later the cadaver of Loktar arrives below, staring up at the companions with his empty eyes. A sudden lurch in the pyramid throws Loktar off balance, sending the corpse barreling back down the stairs.

Moments later, hot air blasts from below the pyramid's base, growing in intensity. The three try to hang on, but eventually the winds become too strong for them to hold on and they're lifted into the air.

Characters:

Zyton is a three-headed lizard-like creature that lives within the pyramid that houses the tomb of Loktar. Zyton's purpose is to guard the tomb and prevent anyone from opening it, thereby causing the pyramid to destroy itself. Little else is known about Zyton, except that it appears intelligent enough to recognize when it's life is in danger from the pyramid's self-descrution.

"Advancing towards the centre of the room was a strange creature, a half-bird and half-reptile. Its lower body was that of an iguana, but a pair of wings sprouted from its shoulders. Three separate necks, scaly at the base, became more feather towards the top and each ended in a head equipped with a curving, toothy beak and glittering gimlet eyes."

Comments:

The twenty-second volume of The Ancestral Trail offers up one of the more bizarre and esoteric portions of the story thus far. The monster-of-the-issue for this issue, the bird-lizard creature Zyton, is barely even in the story, and when he does appear, he does little beyond getting spooked and running away. By the way the story is structured, Zyton is most certainly a creature that was around before the Evil One appeared - he is, after all, guarding the tomb of Loktar. And when Richard and friends came alone and opened the tomb, Zyton took off and is never seen again. One wonders where Zyton is now? Is he terrorizing the nearby countryside now that his job is finished, or did he die without a master to control him?

The discussion of Zyton of course leads to Loktar. Who exactly is Loktar, and what kind of person was he to build a booby-trapped pyramid as a tomb? We never find out, but we can guess. We can guess he is of magical origin, as his corpse is reanimated when the tomb is opened. Is he an ancient sorcerer, or perhaps a mad wizard? Again, we never find out, and perhaps it is for the best. Leaving something vague like this gives The Ancestral Trail a bit of history that we can fill in the blanks with our own imaginations.

Quotes:

"If you go on like that, you'll end up disappearing like Melek! We don't know how that trap was sprung and there could be more waiting for us."

-Richard

Orkan: "What are we going to do without the Book of Prophecies?"
Richard: "What are we going to do without Melek, not just the Book of Prophecies. For now, I think we should head for the pyramid. Getting the pod is our main priority and Melek knows that. If he can, he will head for the pyramid."

Richard: "The pod's in there, but the entrance is hidden. Orkan, where would you put a door so that people wouldn't find it?"
Orkan: "Where they couldn't get at it. Maybe higher up the pyramid?"

"You haven't opened the tomb, have you?"

-Melek

"The curse! It's happening!"

-Orkan

Go to #23 - Dagmar, Demon of Fire

The Ancestral Trail #21: Stridor, Lord of the Snowy Mountains

2008-03-08T19:58:00.000-05:00

Facing up to the White Death

Story:

On the Twenty-First Day...

Tread lightly on the rocky heights,
A sudden fall, a triple plight.
An evil comes, an evil goes
Buried under sliding snows.
Remember though, when far ahead,
Trapped is not the same as dead.
Nor is haste the same as speed
Nor the led the one to lead.

The trio trudge their way through the heavy snowstorm, realizing they will be dead soon if they do not find shelter quickly. Despite knowing this, their progress slows as they reach the mountains. They tie Melek's rope around their waists so as not to lose themselves in the storm. As they walk up a treacherous slope, Melek suddenly loses his footing and slides down the hill, dragging his companions with him.

Their fall is stopped by a snowdrift at the bottom of their descent. Orkan recommends that they look for shelter and wait out the storm. He heads around the snowdrift and, to his luck, finds a large crack inside the side of the mountain. The crack leads into a narrow passage inside the mountain. Desperate to escape the storm, Richard and Melek follow Orkan inside.

The corridor eventually opens up into a large cave within the mountain, natural stone shelves jutting all over. The three also notice several partially eaten carcasses of animals lying all over. Trying to ignore the rotting meat lying all over, the three decide to consult the Book of Prophecies while they wait out the storm.

They debate the meaning of the prophecy, particularly the last three lines, and as they do the storm outside dies down. Eventually they emerge out of the cave with the sun finally in the sky and the mountains covered in fresh snow. As they walk out into the silent mountains, the silence is suddenly broken by a distant howl.

Richard asks Melek if he knows the source of the howl. Melek entertains the idea of a snow cat before recalling reading about a creature called Stridor, the supposedly missing link between man and ape who lives in the Snowy Mountains and guards the way to the Forgotten City. Richard realizes that the carcasses they found in the cave were part of Stridor's larder and says they need to get away quickly.

Before they could leave, a couple more howls are heard, these ones closer. They look down the mountain and see a giant ape-like creature running towards the cave, a dead deer draped across its back. Recognizing the creature as Stridor, Richard and his friends start to run, but the thick snow slows them down. Stridor, on the other hand, moves through the snow easily.

Richard led his friends in the hope of gaining some advantage uphill, but the snowstorm had altered the landscape such that he no longer recognizes direction. He pulls out the Path Finder to find the right direction, but before he could use it Stridor catches up and looms over him. Ignoring Richard, Stridor grabs the Path Finder and gazes at his new toy with primal fascination.

Richard doesn't hesitate, knowing he cannot lose the Path Finder. He draws his dagger and plunges it into Stridor's foot, causing the beast to drop the instrument and howl in agony. Richard grabs the Path Finder and races back to his friends as Stridor holds his foot in pain.

The fierce howls of pain from Stridor ripple throughout the mountain until a delicate shelf of snow on a high precipice crumbles, causing an avalanche of snow. The trio and even Stridor are swept away by the river of snow, carrying them past boulders and trees down the side of the mountain. By the time the avalanche subsides, Richard and his friends are buried beneath layers of frozen white.

Richard, trapped under the layers of snow, begins clawing his way furiously upward. He eventually breaks through to the surface, gulping in fresh air as he does. Freed, he looks around and spots a shoe peaking through the snow. He grabs the foot and pulls, yanking Melek from his own tomb of ice. They look around for signs of Orkan, but see none. Just then, a sword bursts through the snow, and Richard and Melek watch as Orkan hacks his way to freedom.

At Richard's behest, they rub their hands and faces to restart circulation in their blue skin. A quick check of the Path Finder points down the mountainside to more hospitable hills, and the three waste no time in trekking in that direction. They pray that Stridor, if having survived the avalanche, wouldn't follow them.

The journey down the mountain takes them through several valleys and hills, eventually taking them away from the endless snow of the Snowy Mountains. They pass by a broken bridge that once spanned a mountain river, and eventually see what they think are buildings hidden among the hills of the mountain's base.

They approach the hidden village, which Melek comments must be the Forgotten City. They walk through the architecturally magnificent city, marveling at how beautiful it looks. But the lack of people, coupled with large heaps of skulls in some homes, tells them that this city, which has no outer walls, must've fallen to the Evil One. Realizing there is nothing for them in this once-peaceful and welcoming place, Richard checks the Path Finder once more.

The Path Finder points towards a peak near the city. Sensing the next pod is nearby, Richard and his companions begin the long climb upward. Several bones litter their way, reminding them of the Evil One yet again. They near the end of their exhausting climb when they suddenly hear a distant howl behind them. They look to see a familiar figure running down the snowy heights they left a long ways back. Stridor had survived, and he was pursuing them.

The trio quicken their pace, hoping to get out of Stridor's sight so he would give up on them. They reach the top of the hill and find themselves overlooking another valley, where a peculiar pyramid structure sits. The Path Finder points directly at the building.

After Richard points out that the pyramid is their next destination, Melek bounds past him enthusiastically. Richard suddenly remembers the last line of the prophecy and calls out for Melek to stop, but he is too late. Melek stands on a large rock on the edge of the valley's edge, and without warning the rock tilts forward as if on a hidden mechanism. Melek falls down the slide-like slope and tumbles out of sight.

Characters:

Stridor is a giant ape-like creature that dwells within the Snowy Mountains. Little is known about Stridor except that he is suspected to be the missing link between apes and mankind. Because the Snow Mountains are situated very close to the Forgotten City, it is also assumed that Stridor guards the way over the mountains towards the city, though the reason is never clear. He is a fierce hunter that likes to kill large animals for food. He stores his food in a larder in the mountains. Stridor doesn't seem to have any connection to the Evil One - his existence is his own.

"Far below, he could see a thickset, furry creature coming up the hill towards them. It was round-bodied, with long arms and powerful legs, all covered in a furze of straight, brown hair. A large deer was slung across its powerful shoulders. As it approaches, Richard saw that the creature's face was strikingly human, rubbery and wrinkled into dark, clean-edged segments. Now and then the creature stopped and sniffed the air, his gaping nostrils quivering as they pointed in Richard's direction."

Comments:

With the twenty-first issue of The Ancestral Trail, we get a headlining creature that is one of the rarest sort we've seen in the series: a creature that has no close or obvious ties to the Evil One. The last creature not to be directly linked to the Evil One was Hulkan the Mole Monster back in issue fifteen. Having these creatures are helpful reminders that the Ancestral World wasn't a completely safe land before the Evil One conquered it; Melek indicated that Stridor has existed even before the Evil One's arrival, so along with the Klaws and Spectors and Narkums of the world we also get the Stridors and Hulkans and (possibly) Zibellas.

Concerning Stridor himself, the ape-like creature proved to be quite a pathetic foe. Instead of killing Richard and his friends for his larder, he went for the Path Finder because it piqued his curiosity. This allowed Richard to strike a blow against him, thus allowing them to evade Stridor after the avalanche. And even when Stridor started chasing them again near the end of the issue, the ape-man is never heard of again once the trio reach the valley with the pyramid. One wonders how the Ancestral World will plan on dealing with Stridor if and when the Evil One is killed.

Quotes:

"We've got to get to the mountains as quickly as possible and get some shelter. If we stay in the open, we're dead."

-Richard

Richard: "What was that?"
Melek: "It could be a large snow cat, or it could be something worse. I once came across a reference to a creature called Stridor who lives in the Snowy Mountains. He's believed to be the missing link between apes and mankind. He guards the way to the Forgotten City."
Richard: "Something tells me we've stumbled into his larder. We'd better get away as quickly as we can."

"Rub your faces. We must get our circulation going."

-Richard

"Trapped is not the same as dead!"

-Richard

The Ancestral Trail #20: Spector, Keeper of the Ice Kingdom

2007-08-26T19:56:00.000-04:00

Trapped in the Wastes of Frigoria

Story:

On the Twentieth Day...

Sear of ice chill best is fled
By cutting that which in a head
Is single, cold and seeing all,
The eye that holds you in its thrall.
A blinding arc destroys the past,
Then they start the trip at last.
Beware at length a fall of snow,
Another city? Far to go.

Before the ice could close in and crush the hapless trio, Doonar suddenly leaps into the air and flicks his tail, sending Richard and his friends sailing onto safer ice cliffs nearby. Doonar then quickly swims between the cracks and dives under the ice to swim away to the safety of the open ocean. With everyone safe, the three pick themselves up, consult the Path Finder for direction, and head towards a series of distant cliffs. The trek there is long and hard, and despite Shunta's protective oil they are chilled to the bone. They are exhausted by the time they reach the cliffs.

They scale the heights to get to a plateau up on top, and there they arrive at Frigoria, a city of ice and snow. They approach a monstrous arch cut into the walls of ice, and as they pass underneath it, the trio notice figures encased inside the ice of the archway. The figures are recognized as dolphins, their faces frozen in horror.

Quietly, the three pass under the arch and enter the icy city. The cold is increasingly painful, and as Richard suggests they stop for a rest, Melek suddenly collapses onto the ground. Richard grabs his friend and tries to haul him back to his feet when a large shadow looms over the friends. Richard looks up to see a giant one-eyed man towering over them. The giant welcomes them to Frigoria before scooping them up in his powerful arms. With no power left to resist, the trio collapse into unconsciousness.

Richard later awakens to find himself inside an immense chamber, where the giant is sitting across the room on a large throne, staring straight at him. Richard then realizes he is no longer cold and notices he is draped in fur blankets. He sees his friends beside him, awaken and also clothed in blankets. Richard asks the giant man who he is; the giant introduces himself as Spector and says he will soon take Richard to the Evil One.

Spector then reaches for his face with his hand, and a squelching sound is heard as the giant removes his eye from it socket. The giant then drops the eye inside a jar containing a green liquid, and Spector warns the trio that even while he sleeps, he will still be able to watch them. Moments later, the giant is sound asleep, snoring.

Richard and his friends stare at the eye, which seems to follow their every move. As an experiment, Richard attempts to walk towards it; Spector's hand instantly twitches towards the jar. When Richard moves back, so does the hand. Confirming that the eye can see them, Richard talks to his friends about it and they decide to read the Book of Prophecies first, turning their backs to hide the text from the eye. After reading the verse, Richard has an idea and asks Orkan and Melek to turn their backs to the eye and hide Richard from its view.

When the two friends do this, Richard lifts the hood of Golan's tunic over his head and becomes invisible. He then stands up and walks towards the eye's jar. Luckily, the eye doesn't notice anything amiss and Spector remains still.

Upon reaching the eye without difficulty, Richard reaches out and picks up the container. But hies grip slips and he drops the jar, sending its contents slipping onto the floor. The green ooze melts the ice on the floor while the eye rolls away and begins shriveling without its protective liquid. Spector reacts by squirming in agony, feeling pain in his empty socket. Richard removes the hood and calls for his friends to make a break for it. They head towards the only exit they can see, with Spector lumbering in pursuit.

The trio emerge into a giant room of unpolished ice, reflecting their images all over. Within moments they find themselves lost inside the giant hall of ice mirrors, and it doesn't take long for Spector to crash into the room as well. With the maze-like room destroying their sense of direction, Richard orders his friends to get behind him. Richard then shuffles his way forward, until his hand touches burning ice forming a wall.

With a wall found, Richard starts moving along the wall until his hand finds empty space. Stepping inside the hole, he discovers a corridor and starts running, his friends in tow. They suddenly emerge onto a dark street, escaping Spector's ice palace. But the giant is still chasing them, and the three race down the streets of Frigoria, eventually reaching another arch with sea mammals encased inside.

Orkan gets an idea and asks Melek for his rope. With the rope in hand, Orkan climbs up the arch to its peak. With one end tied around the edge of a battlement on the city wall, and the other end around his waist, Orkan draws his sword and waits for Spector to arrive. The blind giant, guided by the sounds of the escaping trio's voices, quickly arrives at the arch and begins pounding it frantically before stooping underneath it.

Orkan seizes the opportunity and launches himself off the arch, the rope pulling him into arc down towards Spector. Swinging his sword, Orkan thrusts the blade directly into the giant's soft spot: his empty eyeless socket. Spector topples to the ground, dead.

Melek suddenly points towards Frigoria, and the trio witness Frigoria beginning to melt upon the death of Spector. The icy buildings of the city are the first to go, and soon the arches encasing the sea mammals melt, freeing the trapped creatures inside. Soon the entire lake upon which Frigoria was built has melted, leaving only the floating carcass of Spector in its wake. The sea mammals splash around in the melted waters happily before heading out to sea.

With renewed vigor, Richard checks the Path Finder and the three head out into the indicated direction. At first the going is easy, with the sun shining in the sky and the snow easy to trek across. Eventually, however, a blizzard strikes them from behind and covers the icy lands in darkness, plunging them into a cold storm with zero visibility. Richard calls out to his friends to remain close to him, but he discovers they were already lost from sight and sound. Feeling alone, Richard presses forward as best he can.

Characters:

The Sea Mammals are a race of creatures that dwell within the waters of the Ancestral World. They are similar to the Water Forces in that they are aquatic animals, but they differ in that they breathe air instead of water. It is suspected that Tishon and Shunta are the Guardians of the Sea Mammals, though this may not be the case, since the Twin Guardians are fish-like themselves. The Sea Mammals were imprisoned in ice by the Evil One and guarded by the giant Spector, until Richard killed the giant and released the spell that encased them in the ice.

Spector is a towering one-eyed giant that dwells within the ice city of Frigoria. He is the guard of the Sea Mammals, who are imprisoned inside the ice that makes up Frigoria's massive walls. While he looks fairly dopey, Spector isn't entirely stupid and is strong enough to battle most anything that challenges him. A special trick he can perform is removing his eye from its socket and still have the ability to see whatever the eye sees

"Above them loomed a giant. He was thickly bearded, and clad in rough woolen clothes to insulate him against the cold. In the middle of his forehead sat a single, blue-gray eye that stared expressionlessly at Richard...He advanced towards the shivering trio, then scooped them up into his massive arms."

Comments:

With the twentieth issue of The Ancestral Trail, the trio come across another minion of the Evil One whose priority is to guard something entrusted to him by his master. In this case, Spector was asked to guard the incapacitated Sea Mammals, similar to how Mirra guarded the stone statues of Juroot and his Bird Forces. Like Mirra, Spector has no need to hypnotize the Sea Mammals to do his bidding, like how Nemis controlled the Water Forces, Gator controlled the gators of the Reptile Forces, and Enlil controlled the Common Beasts.

This far into the adventure, one begins to wonder something: if the minions of the Evil One are this easy to dispose of or avoid, why did the Ancestral Forces lose the final battle in the first place? Speculating, it could be that the Evil One had all of his forces amassed at the Ancestral City, allowing him to focus his strength all at once. After winning the battle, the Evil One spread his forces across the Ancestral World, thereby weakening them and allowing a small band to come by and pick his minions off one by one.

Regarding the issue itself, while not really that important in the grand scheme of things, a minor "error" was made in the artwork in this issue. It was made clear in the previous issue that Doonar was the last of the sea mammals, and that the entire race of sea mammals was trapped inside Frigoria. When the ice of Frigoria begins to melt, the sea mammals are freed. However, it appears something else is freed:

Now, it is reasonable to assume that penguins were frozen along with the Sea Mammals, but it's a bit more humorous to think this was the result of a miscommunication between the writers and artists of the series.

Finally, a mistake was made in the writing. On page 306, the writers state that the oil given to Richard to fend off the coldness of Frigoria was given to him by Doonar. The oil was really given to him by the Guardian Shunta.

Quotes:

"Welcome to Frigoria."

-Spector

"I am Spector, Keeper of the Ice Kingdom. This is my palace. Enjoy it before I take you to the Evil One. Don't try and escape and don't think that because I'm asleep, my eye can't see you."

-Spector

"If I'm right, this melt-down will have gone right through the ice-cap. The sea mammals will be able to swim out to open water and join up with Golan's forces."

-Melek

Go to #21 - Stridor, Lord of the Snowy Mountains

The Ancestral Trail #19: Nemis, Master of the Deep

2007-08-26T19:54:00.000-04:00

In the Merman's Underwater Prison

Story:

On the Nineteenth Day...

Sea falls fast and deep
Ship speeds deeper still,
Down to hidden Coral's Keep
Where Evil wreaks its will.
Merman King locks the spell,
Guardian's magic is the key.
Chosen One must use it well
To set the others free.

The storm lashes lout at the boat fiercely, forcing the trio to sit and wait for the elements to cease battering them. After a while, the storm finally blows out, and the heroes discover that the storm has blown them into a huge lagoon, where land can be seen on three sides. Richard and Orkan begin paddling the boat while Melek starts bailing out water from the vessel.

Unfortunately, the shore gets no closer, and they realize that the tide is going out and pulling them with it. The approaching thundering of cascading water signals they are approaching a seafall - a waterfall created at low tide. The craft falls off the edge of the waterfall and shatters upon impact at the bottom. The trio each grab a piece of wood from the broken boat as they go under water, even touching the seabed, before they resurface. Coughing and spluttering, they swim towards each other to regroup. That's when Melek notices and points out a boat.

Although the ship appears to be in tatters, a rope ladder is hanging from the side. Richard and his friends swim up to the ship and clamber up the makeshift ladder, collapsing tiredly onto the deck. They look around and find the ship deserted, so they take the time to read from the Book of Prophecies. After reading the next verse, they suddenly hear footsteps and look up, finding the ship abruptly bustling with activity, with sailors appearing to get ready for a storm. Richard approaches the helmsman and thanks him for saving them before trying to pat his back.

To Richard's horror, his hand passes right through the helmsman's body, and he realizes that he and his friends are on a ghost ship. A loud whistle is heard and the entire ghost crew save the helmsman disappears below deck. The helmsman then turns the ship's steering wheel, and the schooner starts to dive nose-first into the water. In a panic, Richard orders his friends to get to a large diving bell on the ship's upper deck. The trio open the bell and climb inside, closing it moments before the entire ship is submerged under the waves.

Despite escaping drowning, the limited air supply in the bell immediately brings suffocation to mind. Looking through the bell's porthole, they watch as the ship skims across the floor of the sea through a coral maze that appeared to be more like a village than a reef. Suddenly, the ship comes to a halt and the diving bell topples off the deck and onto the sea floor.

The ghost sailors disembark the ship and drag the bell across the sea floor until arriving at a large undersea palace. The bell is taken inside a large throne room adorned with sea shells and filled with strange creatures. One of the creatures, a merman with a trident, approaches the bell. Melek recognizes the creature as Nemis, the Merman King, and tells his friends. The merman studies the bell's occupants and recognizes Richard as the Chosen One, proclaiming he will deliver him to the Evil One as a prize.

The merman asks that his prisoners in the meantime join the Guardians of the Fishes, Tishon and Shunta, and a large octopus approaches the bell to engulf it in order to entrap the three occupants. Richard sees the two Guardians entangled in a nearby net, and at that moment he hears Golan telling him to rescue the Guardians, and that he will be saved at the same time. Richard informs his companions of his decision to rescue the Guardians, and they agree.

After taking a deep breath, the trio open the diving bell hatch and push forward into the ocean, their escape not noticed by Nemis or the octopus. They reach the entangled Guardians and Richard begins to hack away at the net with his dagger. Moments before has to release his breath, one of the Guardians pulls him into the net and presses a scaly mask against his face, which amazingly allows him to breathe.

Two other masks are given to Melek and Orkan, and the Guardians use Richard's dagger to cut the remaining pieces of the net. But as Richard was regaining some hope, Nemis notices the escape attempt and lunges at the freed Guardians with his trident. Tishon and Shunta attack in return, but Nemis is powerful enough to drive them back. At the same time, the octopus realizes what's going on and approaches the guardians.

Suddenly, a dolphin emerges from the depths and slams into the octopus, sending it sprawling. The octopus quickly forgets about the escaped Guardians and turns on its new foe, but the dolphin manages to elude its every attack.

Yet the distraction of the octopus by the dolphin doesn't deter Nemis, who has the upper hand against the Guardians with his trident. Richard, remembering the prophecy, unbuckles Kika's belt and hurls it at the Merman King. The belt magically traverses through the water and wraps itself around the trident, snapping the once formidable weapon like a twig. With his power source destroyed, Nemis begins decaying. Beginning at his tail and ending at his face, his flesh strips itself from his bones until nothing but a skeleton remains of the evil creature.

With Nemis dead, the sea creatures that had surrounded the throne room suddenly start flailing around happily; the merman's death had freed them from his spell. The dolphin swims up to Richard and the Guardians, where Tishon identifies the dolphin as Doonar, the last of the Sea Mammals, and a creature who has been a thorn in Nemis' side. Shunta says Doonar will return the trio to the surface, and asks where they are headed next.

Richard pulls out the Path Finder for directions, and Doonar recognizes the direction as pointing towards Frigoria, a cold wasteland where his people are frozen. With the direction set, the trio climb about Doonar, but not before Shunta hands Richard a small bottle of oil that will protect them from the worst of the cold by rubbing it onto their skin. With the gift accepted, Doonar whisks the trio from the sea floor to the surface.

Upon reaching the surface, the masks covering the trio's faces disintegrate into the air. Within moments, the sea grows incredibly cold with ice everywhere, and application of Shunta's oil does little to relieve the chill. Eventually, they reach enormous ice cliffs that surround them on either side. The cliff is littered with dangerous channels, and Doonar picks the widest one he can find. Unfortunately, as he carries the trio deep inside the channel, the walls around them begin to narrow as ice begins pushing in from the sea at an alarming rate, trapping them where they float.

Characters:

Tishon and Shunta are the Guardians of the Fishes and the Keepers of the Life Force Pod of Justice. Being twins, they are the only double-Guardians among the Keepers of the Life Force Pods. The gender of either of the two Guardians isn't known. After the final battle at the Ancestral City, the twin Guardians were captured by the Evil One and put in the care of Nemis the evil merman. Their weapons are revealed to be daggers later on in the series.

The Fish Forces are the creatures under the protection and command of Tishon and Shunta, the Guardians of the Fishes. The variety of animals that make up the Fish Forces isn't known exactly, but it is known that the Fish Forces are composed of water-breathing creatures only - sea mammals do not fall into this category. As with other Forces in the series - Insect, Reptile, etc. - the Fish Forces were under a spell cast by the Evil One and forced to do his bidding. After the death of Nemis, the Merman King, the spell was broken and the Fish Forces freed.

Doonar is a dolphin that dwells within the waters that fall between Tuska's island and the ice land Frigoria. When all of the sea mammals were imprisoned in Frigoria by the Evil One, Doonar escaped their fate and chose to become a thorn in the Evil One's side. He did this by attacking Nemis, who held captive the Guardians of the Fishes and had all of the Fish Forces under his control. It is Doonar who manages to buy Richard enough time to save the Guardians from Nemis by distracting the octopus that otherwise would've re-captured the Guardians.

Nemis is a merman who dwells within the waters of the Ancestral World. As the Evil One's leader of his water-based forces, Nemis is charged with guarding the captured Guardians of the Fishes. His weapon is a trident that not only acts as a powerful weapon but also gives him strength to face several powerful foes at once. But this trident is a double-edged sword - if broken, his power source is lost and he dies.

"A vicious-looking merman holding a coral trident floated towards them. The merman swirled to a stop by the porthole and peered into the bell. His features were thin and pinched and a bony nose jutted between cold, slanting eyes. His menacing stare held them entranced before he finally spoke."

Comments:

Almost immediately after saving the Guardian Tuska from the previous issue, Richard and his friends decide to rescue the twin Guardians of the Fishes in issue nineteen of The Ancestral Trail. This puts the streak of found Guardians/Pods in consecutive issues at four, starting with the rescue of the Guardiand Zard in issue sixteen and including finding the Pod of Valor in issue seventeen. Only one Guardian remains to be found, along with two Life Force Pods.

One thing that this issue does demonstrate quite well is that Richard, despite being the Chosen One, cannot save the Ancestral World on his own. Even with his companions Orkan and Melek, Richard still needs outside help from time to time. This was shown when Nemis and the giant octopus were bearing down on the Guardians, and the dolphin Doonar appeared to help them. Without Doonar's help, the Guardians would've been recaptured, and most likely Richard and his friends as well. Some people might call this a deus ex machina, but I feel it fleshes out the Ancestral World and shows that the world does not exist in a vacuum, waiting for a hero to do all of the work.

Finally, you've heard about it several times before, but now you finally get to see it: the playing card that is meant to represent Nemis. Looking at the picture in the card, it is obvious that the picture bears little resemblance to the picture used on the front cover. Whereas the card's Nemis is more human in feature (albeit in a grotesque manner), the cover version is more monstrous in form with his beast-like features. Of the two Nemises, the cover version wins over the card version easily: while the card version can be mistaken for an old man who had taken a bath for too long, the issue version looks like a creature that can kill you.

Quotes:

"It's a ghost. We're on a ghost ship!"

-Richard

"I hope we don't have to say in here long. The air can't last forever."

-Melek

"At last! The Chosen One. I have waited for such a prize. You can join the twin Guardians of the Fishes, Tishon and Shunta, until I deliver you to the Evil One."

-Nemis

Richard: "Where did the dolphin come from?"
Tishon: "It's Doonar, last of the Sea Mammals. He managed to escape the spell that fell on the rest of his people and has been a constant thorn in Nemis's side. We were lucky he was here today."

Doonar: "Then you're headed for Frigoria. It's the coldest place I know and it's also where my people are being held prisoner in walls of ice."
Richard: "That's where the Path Finder directs us, so that's where we must go. Perhaps we can help your people."

"Take this. It's a special oil which will protect you from the worst of the cold if you rub it into your skin. Good luck and thank you for saving us from Nemis. May you fare as well in your next encounter."

-Shunta

Go to #20 - Spector, Keeper of the Ice Kingrom

The Ancestral Trail #18: Kronis, the Winged Lion

2007-05-05T19:51:00.000-04:00

Fight for Freedom in the Whispering Maze

Story:

On the Eighteenth Day...

A treasure now regains its sheen
When past water thrice has been,
Leads them streetwise through a maze
To a hero's captured gaze.
Return with rope to lead him out,
But death of evil is in doubt.
Who once was brave is braver now.
Fight the waves from stern to prow.

The trio are awakened in the boat by wakes rocking against the vessel, and they quickly discover that they're lost at sea. A curtain of mist falls over the boat and destroys visibility, before eventually the mist lifts and the three find themselves in calmer waters. Looking up ahead, they see what appears to be an island. Realizing they had entered the land of dreams as mentioned in the Book of Prophecies, Richard and his friends make their way to the island, passing beneath a massive arch before finding a harbor.

Upon reaching the harbor, the trio climb onto shore, noting the ancient lighthouse on the far end of the waterfront and a series of narrow streets that lead to the center of the island. Sensing that something is watching them despite everything appearing deserted, Richard leads Orkan and Melek down a street. He then suddenly hears a flapping sound above and looks up. Emerging from the glare of the sun is a monstrous winged lion charging straight towards them, and Richard quickly yells for his friends to run.

The three duck inside one of the nearby mansions on the street, moments before the winged lion rams against the house a couple times in an attempt to topple it. The house remains standing, and the lion tries intead to reach inside the house with one of its giant paws. Richard and his friends huddle out of reach, and eventually the lion gives up, flying away with a loud roar.

With the lion gone, the trio huddle together and look at the next verse in the Book of Prophecies. Upon reading the verse, Richard remembers the amulet and how it was meant to heal after crossing water three times. With the crossing of the rivers on Cragmar's Plateau, the waters of Gator's Swamp, and the sea surrounding the island, the amulet has indeed regained its sheen. Concerning the rest of the passage, Richard suggests searching the maze of streets.

They exit the house and make sure to maintain good cover in case the lion attacks again. Soon they reach a large door, which they push open to reveal a maze of corridors. Richard uses the amulet to guide them, listening to unspoken directions from Golan, while at the same time he thinks he sees strange shadows dart in and out of view from time to time. Eventually, the three reach a large center arena in the middle of the island town. In the middle of the square, tied to a pillar, was a unicorn man, who glances nervously at Richard and his friends.

Richard assures the unicorn that they are friends come to rescue him. The unicorn is relieved and reveals himself to be Tuska, Guardian of the Mythical Beasts. Tuska also identifies the winged lion as Kronis, who has taken Tuska's dagger and halberd, the only items which can cut the unicorn's bonds. When Richard reveals that they've already encountered the winged lion, Tuska admires the three's escape of Kronis, considering the creature's incredibly poisonous claws. Richard vows to bring back Tuska's weapons, which the unicorn reveals are hidden in Kronis' lair in the harbor's lighthouse.

The trio give their farewells and rush to the door to head back to the harbor. They pause when they wonder how they'll return to the square through the village maze, and Richard remembers Melek's rope, which can stretch beyond its length. Tying one end to the door, Richard pulls the rope, which indeed does stretch and snakes its way behind the three as they go back the way they came.

After a while of traveling, the trio find themselves at an unrecognizable corridor. Before they could double back, the shadow of Kronis descends upon them from above. In a panic the three run through the maze of corridors before emerging in a dead end. Luckily, the tight space of the passageway prevents Kronis from getting close enough, allowing Richard and Orkan to fight back with their blades. Within moments, Kronis retreats after his paw is sliced by one of the blades.

With Kronis gone, the three rush out of the dead end and miraculously find themselves at the entrance of the maze. Without thinking they dash into the nearest building. Richard fears that Melek had dropped the rope in all of the ensuing ruckus with Kronis, meaning they would never find their way back to Tuska, but Melek proudly reveals he had kept the rope the whole time, causing Richard to hug him in elation. With the rope still in their possession, the trio exit the house and make their way towards the harbor, where blood drops indicate Kronis had returned to his lighthouse lair.

The group reach the lighthouse, where Melek is told to stay put so he won't be in the way. Rirchard and Orkan climb the lighthouse's rail-less stairway to the top floor, where they prepare to enter the winged lion's den. Orkan strings an arrow and Richard draws his dagger, and the two of them burst into the room, where they find Kronis licking his wounds in the corner of the room. Beside him are Tuska's halberd and dagger.

Orkan fires several arrows at Kronis, striking the creature's hind leg and right wing joint. Richard then shows true valor and approached the monster to retrieve the weapons despite Kronis' lethal claws. Several slices of his dagger causes Kronis to roar in agony, giving Richard enough time to pick up the weapons and get to s afe distance. As Richard retreats back to the stairwell, Orkan fires several more arrows, striking Kronis' throat and lung.

As Richard and Orkan rush down the stairs, Richard notices Kronis pull the arrows from his body and start to crawl after them. The two reach Melek downstairs and begin following the rope back through the maze to the square where Tuska is held captive. Upon reaching Tuska, Richard uses the Guardian's dagger to cut through the ropes, watching them slice through remarkably easily. Richard hands the Guardian his weapons as Orkan reminds them that Kronis is chasing after them.

The four run from the arena and use Melek's rope to lead themselves back out of the maze, where the rope returns to its original length. As they approach the lighthouse, where Kronis has finished crawling down the stairs, shadows start to materialize around them and approach the winged lion.

Tuska calls out an order, and the shadows quickly engulf Kronis; the monster disappears beneath the cloak of shadows within moments. As Kronis is enveloped, the shadows begin to gain color and shape, and soon Richard can make out the forms of mythical creatures. Tuska senses Richard's awe and explains that these new creatures are his forces, the mythical beasts. They had become shadows after Kronis had imprisoned Tuska, but now they are regaining their original forms upon Kronis' death.

With their job complete, Tuska leads the trio down to the shore, where their boat is waiting for them. Tuska bids his new friends goodbye, saying he'll see them again soon. As the three paddle themselves from the island, Richard notices a sea creature regain its form like the land beasts on the island did.

As the three push their way through the waters that separate the island from the main land, the sea suddenly turns rough and begin tossing the small craft side to side. Their paddling has little effect on their progress, and minute by minute their boat takes on water. The possibilityt of sinking begins to look very real.

Characters:

Kronis is a monstrous winged lion that serves as one of the Evil One's guards. As a lion, Kronis has the basic arsenal of weaponry - strong muscles, powerful jaw, and sharp claws - but has the added bonus of the ability to secrete poison from his claws, a poison potent enough to kill hundreds of men with a single scratch. Kronis dwells in the lighthouse overlooking the island of the mythical beasts, where he stashes the weapons of the captured Guardian Tuska.

The unicorn man Tuska is the Guardian of the Mythical Beasts and the Keeper of the Life Force Pod of Knowledge. When he was captured by the Evil One and imprisoned by the winged lion Kronis, he was tied to a pole in the center of the island of the mythical beasts, bound by a rope that only Tuska's own weapons - a dagger and halberd - can cut through.

The Mythical Beasts are a race of creatures that dwell within the Ancestral World. While the Common Beasts are composed of creatures found within Richard's world, the Mythical Beasts are composed of beasts that are found in myths and legends. Beasts such as minotaurs, griffins, dragons, and sea leviathans are just some of the Mythical Beasts. When the Guardian Tuska was imprisoned by the Evil One and Kronis, the Mythical Beasts were reduced to mere shadows of themselves, forced to wander their island home. After Kronis' death, they regained their life force.

Comments:

Another issue, another Guardian. As The Ancestral Trail reached the three-fourths mark, the pace begins to pick up concerning the retrieval of the Life Force Pods and the rescue of the Guardians. With the saving of the Guardian Zard in issue sixteen, the finding of a Pod in issue seventeen, and Tuska's rescue in issue eighteen, one begins to wonder why the Evil One decided to clump them so close together like this. Did he think he could properly guard them in this region of the Ancestral World? Evidently his thinking was off, if the incompetence of Cragmar, the weakness of Gator, and the pitifulness of Kronis is to be believed.

Also in this issue, the identity of the Pod retrieved from Gator is revealed. When Richard faces Kronis in the beast's lair, he knows he must claim Tuska's stolen weapons if the Guardian is to be freed and faces the winged lion despite the monster's lethal poison claws. At this moment, "Richard show[s] true valor." The Life Force Pod is therefore the Pod of Valor.

Finally, another observation concerning the Ancestral Trail playing cards needs to be made regarding their images. In the playing card for Kronis, the winged lion is depicted as a fiery red monstrosity all over, from hair to skin. In the issue itself, Kronis' coloring is more varied, albeit more dulled, with yellow fur and and a greenish main and bloodshot red eyes. This is yet another example of the discrepancies between the playing card pictures and the issues, but in the next issue the most extreme example of this will be revealed.

Quotes:

"The prophecy's right. Regain a treasure its sheen! It's the third time we've crossed the water, and the amulet's back to normal!"

-Richard

Tuska: "I am Tuska, Guardian of the Mythical Beasts. Kronis, the winged lion, made me his prisoner and took my halberd and dagger - only they can cut me free."
Orkan: "We've seen Kronis already."
Tuska: "You've done well to escape him then, a single scratch from his claws delivers enough poison to kill an army."

Richard: "Did you notice any shadows following us?"
Melek: "Yes, some of the shapes looked like the incredible beasts described in Morbane's book."

"These are my forced. They are the mythical beasts, the half-believed figments of legend. This is our city, but when Kronis imprisoned me, my forces became mere shadows. They were left with no strength and no power. Yet you can see them filling out even now. When Kronis dies, they will be flesh again."

-Tuska

Go to #19 - Nemis, Master of the Deep

The Ancestral Trail #17: Gator, Reptile Warrior

2007-04-21T19:50:00.000-04:00

Battle for Power in the Shadowy Swamps

Story:

On the Seventeenth Day...

In the swamp a hidden danger
Beckons the unwary stranger.
Find the prize in Gator's mound.
Find the friend from good unbound.
Find the craft that saves the day,
Find the swiftly flowing way
That leads you to the land of dreams
Where all is never what it seems.

As the avalanche subsides, Richard continues to search for signs of Zard, but to no avail, and comes to the grim conclusion that the Guardian is dead. But then as he turns to his friends, he heards a gritty sounds and turns to see Zard approaching them from the left side of the cliff, carrying a giant battleaxe. The Guardian explains that he had to roll a large rock to the side to retrieve his weapon, and in doing so he had caused the avalanche, which he managed to escape before it grew too large.

With Zard safe, Richard says that they should get away from Cragmar's Plateau quickly and asks Melek to read the next prophecy. Realizing they should find Gator's mound to find a pod, the group begins to head down from the pleateau, following a small stream that headed down a slope. Eventually, the small stream grows into a stagnant river with clumps of vegetation growing beginning to dot the landscape. They have arrived in a swamp, and the Path Finder points to a large hillock settled inside the morass. They try to use several small islands as stepping stones across the waters, but the unreliable sturdyness of the islands forces them to wade through the waters eventually.

The journey through the water is unpleasant, as the heroes feel creatures slime around their legs beneath the waters and Richard is forced to carry the Book of Prophecies so Melek wouldn't drown. Eventually, they stop to take a breather, while hoping they wouldn't need to go back the way they came. Just then, Richard feels a tingling on his arm and looks down to see several slug-like creatures latched on his skin, suckling on his blood. He tries to bite one off when Zard stops him, saying those things are leeches and that the wound will be infected if he tries to tear them off.

Zard states that the only way to get rid of the leeches - which are covering him too, as well as Melek and Orkan - is to burn them, and proceeds to try to get a fire burning in the damp environment. Using some relatively try twigs for fuel, he scrapes his axe against a rock to get a spark going. Eventually, he manages to ignite a small blaze and asks Richard for his arm. Using a smoldering reed, Zard burns the leeches, which promply drop off the skin without trouble. After getting rid of several more leeches all over Richard's body, the Guardian does the same for Orkan and Melek before letting Richard do him. The group then gathers a certain type of leaf to rub over their wounds to numb the pain and prevent any infection.

Suddenly, a voice calls out from the swamp and orders the group to drop their weapons. Orkan doesn't hesitate and does so, which Richard and Melek hesitate. The voice demands Zard to drop his axe, but the Guardian doesn't comply and orders the voice to show himself. Moments later, a lizardman emerges from behind a pile of rotting logs. Zard orders him to come closer, and the lizardman does so, finally recognizing Zard's face. The lizardman gives a signal, and a small band of lizardmen emerge from hiding, all brandishing weapons.

The lizardman leader identifies himself as Fengal, and identifies his recognition of Zard as a Guardian and Richard as the Chosen One. Fengal states he and his men are on their way back to the Ancestral City, but Zard says that they are needed here to help them retrieve a pod at the hillock they've been approaching. Fengal says that he and his men have encountered several forces of the Evil One in the swamp, and that their leader is located on that very hill. After discussing some things, the trio, the Guardian, and the lizard forces head towards the hill, occasionally hearing slithering noises in the swamp all around them.

Soon they arrive at the hillock, and they see their enemy: a mob of alligator soldiers, well armed and armored. Behind them, sitting on a nest of branches, is a large alligator, who identifies himself as Gator. Gator orders his men to attack, and in a few moments the lizardmen are in a fight for their lives against Gator's fierce mob.

The alligators quickly overpower Fengal's men, which begin to fall one by one to Gator's army. During the commotion, Richard decides to take the initiative and begins to work his way around the field of combat, heading towards the back of Gator's best. Gator doesn't notice Richard heading his way, but Orkan does. Orkan, believing Fengal is doomed to die, and that the Evil One is his true master, comes to the conclusion that he must kill Richard and begins following the Chosen One.

Richard manages to get behind the distracted Gator and raises his dagger, hoping to sink it into the creature's neck, but before he can Orkan gets behind him and grabs his arm, causing Richard to lurch backwards. His blade cuts through the air and slices through a silk thong around Orkan's neck, a thong holding an amulet engraved with a horned emblem. The amulet falls to the ground and land in the swamp water, hissing upon impact before disappearing.

Richard turns behind him to see a dazed Orkan, who asks what was going on. Richard realizes that his friend has returned to normal and concludes aloud that the amulet must've been a trap set by the Evil One. He then remembers his mission and returns his gaze to Gator, who was now standing up directing his troops, still unaware of Richard's presence. Richard spots the Life Force pod sitting in the alligator's nest and plucks it from the creature without being seen. Unable to kill Gator anymore, the Chosen One and his friend slip away back towards the battle.

As they do, the remainder of Fengal's forces manages to cut a swathe through Gator's men. Seizing upon this opportunity, Zard charges into the fray with his battleaxe swinging. In fear, the alligators flee back to their leader. Gator takes charge and lunges into the battlefield, swinging his tale in a vicious swipe at the Guardian. Zard ducks, and Gator's tail strikes and kills one of Fengal's men. As Gator prepares for another strike, Zard swings his battleaxe with all his might and sinks it deep into Gator's chest. Gator falls to the ground, dead.

With Gator no more, the Evil One's spell over his men disappears, and the alligators emerge once again, in a daze as unwilling to fight. Now Zard may take them, as well as Fengal's surviving me, back to the Ancestral City. With the battle over, Zard approaches Richard and says that now they must part so Richard may finish his quest. Richard pulls out the Path Finder and the instrument points in a direction that Fengal states leads to the sea. The trio gives their farewells to Zard and his troops before the two parties part, with Richard, Orkan, and Melek heading over the hillock.

Thankfully, the waters on the other side of the hill weren't as dangerous as the trek into the swamp, and as they head down towards the cleaner-looking waters, they spot something sitting under a tree. To their luck, it is a boat carved out of a tree trunk, just large enough to carry all three of them out of the swamp.

After making sure the boat is secure enough to float, the trio hop into it and use makeshift paddles to push themselves down the water towards the sea. Eventually, the swamp begins to thin out as silence overtakes their journey. Fatigue begins to set in for the trio, and though they try their best to stay awake, Melek and Orkan fall victim to their tiredness first. Richard tries desperately to remain awake, but eventually even he succumbs to his fatigue, and the boat slowly drifts out to sea.

Characters:

Gator is an enormous alligator that dwells within a large swamp. Like Dragora, Gator holds command over an army of lizard creatures of the Ancestral World, only his minions are alligators instead of regular lizards. Gator is also the protector of one of the stolen Life Force Pods, which he keeps stored in his nest. He is a fierce and powerful opponent with raking claws, powerful jaws, and a whip-like tail at his weapons, and he isn't afraid to take on an enemy head on.

"Behind them, an enormous alligator sat on a rough nest of branches and, as Richard looked at the deep-set yellow eyes, the long snout, the killer teeth, he felt a gush of terror run through his body."

Comments:

In the seventeeth issue of The Ancestral Trail, things begin to pick up the pace as Richard and his friends locate another Life Force Pod, this time in the possession of Gator. This also coming almost immediately after freeing Zard from Cragmar in the previous issue. By the current count, four pods have been located and three Guardians have been saved, meaning two pods and three Guardians remain. With only nine issues remaining in the first Ancestral Trail, series, how and when will Richard locate the remaining pods and Guardians?

Also in this issue, Orkan finally returns to normal when Richard inadvertantly removes the amulet that kept Orkan under its control. It turns out that the amulet, which bore the mask of the Evil One, was a trap left by the Evil One in case anyone was foolish enough to take it upon defeating Dragora. The amulet seemed to work by first preying on the selfish feelings inherent in everyone, bringing them to the surface and causing a person to think of himself. When he is comfortable with these feelings, the Evil One takes hold, molding that person into one of his minions to do his bidding.

Quotes:

Zard: "Don't touch it! It's a leech. If you pull it off, its teeth will stay embedded in y our arm. This place is crawling with germs and bacteria. If the leeches don't such you dry, gangrene will set in before another day is out. The only way is to burn them off."
Richard: "How are we going to burn them off here? Everything's so damp."

"Now. Find as many of these [leaves] as you can and rub them over your wounds. The juice will take away the pain and stop them going septic."

-Zard

Fengal: "A Guardian and the Chosen One! Surprises never cease. My name's Fengal. We've heard that many other survivors are regrouping at the Ancestral City. We are making our way there to join up with them."
Zard: "Good for you, but right now you could be more help to us. Richard has to retrieve a pod which is hidden somewhere up there."
Fengal: "If you're going in there, you'll really need help. We've battled with a few of the Evil One's forces in the swamp already. Their leader is in there. What do you want us to do?"

"Welcome to my Kingdom! I am Gator. Whisper my name as you die. Get them!"

-Gator

Orkan: "What happened?"
Richard: "I don't know, but I think everything is going to be all right now."
Orkan: "I feel very dizzy."
Richard: "It was that amulet. It must have been a trap set by the Evil One. It changed you completely."

Go to #18 - Kronis, the Winged Lion

The Ancestral Trail #16: Cragmar, Man of Stone

2007-04-14T19:31:00.000-04:00

A Fatal Mistake on Plunderer's Plateau

Story:

On the Sixteenth Day...

A treasure burned needs water thrice,
A friend regained will cross it twice,
But water once brings danger near.
The rocks themselves a source of fear.
A rolling stone unlocks the jail,
Flight from there to no avail.
Cunning holds the key to all,
Death comes from a final fall.

The flash of flames around Richard engulf him, but last too briefly to burn him. The flames eventually begin to die down, giving Richard a better opportunity to search the flames for the missing amulet. His search lasts longer than he wishes, and soon he starts to think he'll never recover it, when suddenly he spots something hanging from a nearby tree branch: it's Golan's amulet, which had been blown away by the blast. Richard reclaims the amulet and discovers it still feels hot, before he rejoins his friends.

Richard waits for the amulet to cool enough before he uses his tunic to clean it. Unfortunately the amulet appears different and lacks its usual spark. Thinking the fire had ruined the amulet's powers, Richard hopes the amulet will regain its magic eventually. With the amulet back safely, the trio continue on their journey, moving out of the forest towards a series of rocky rapids. They cross several power currents using giant boulders, and upon getting on the other side safely, Melek reads the Book of Prophecies.

Richard quietly suspects that they need to cross water three times for the amulet to regain its powers, and for Orkan to cross it twice for him to return to normal. Suddenly, a voice from nearby calls out for help. He looks around and see nothing, so he calls out for the voice to identify his location. The voice states he is under the boulder Richard is sitting on. Sliding down tbe boulder, Richard finds a small gap between the rock and the ground.

Richards asks the owner of the voice who is he; the voice identifies himself as Zard, Guardian of the Reptiles, and asks Richard if he can get him out. Richard and his friends respond by trying to push the boulder to widen the small gap, but the rock doesn't burge. Using a piece of driftwood as leverage fails when the piece of woof snaps. Before they can ponder what to do next, the ground starts to shake as something downriver begins to stir. The three turn to see a giant man made of stone emerge from the rocky bank, noticing the trio near Zard's prison before grinning.

The stone man begins to move towards the three, his feet thundering across the ground. Zard shouts at them to run from Cragmar, who won't harm Zard as long as he's still imprisoned. Richard looks around desperately, and sees a large boulder balanced up on a slope with three tiny rocks. Getting an idea, Richard orders his friends up the slope. Orkan and Melek rush up the slope while Richard remains by Zard's prison to get Cragmar's attention. Cragmar apparently grows irritated and quickls his pace.

Richard quickly ducks behind the boulder and rushes up the slope to join his friends. When Cragmar arrives by Zard's boulder, he looks around in puzzlement for his prey. Meanwhile, Richard reaches his friends and quickly explains his plan to them. Cragmar looks up and sees the trio behind the boulder, frowns, and starts up the slope after them. Richard waits for Cragmar to get close enough before ordering the boulder to be released.

Because Cragmar is unable to move quickly, the rock appears on target to strike the rock man, but at the least second it strikes an outcrop and bounces off course, leaving Cragmar untouched. But the deflection of the boulder has an unforeseen consequence: the boulder strikes the boulder of Zard's prison, shattering it into rubble. From the remains of the boulder, a large lizard emerges and runs uphill towards Richard and his friends.

Cragmar doesn't notice Zard's escape because of his narrow miss from the boulder. When he sees Zard standing next to the trio, however, the man of stone roars in anger and starts chasing the group more zealously. The group begins to run, initially gaining distance from Cragmar, but because of Zard's speed he is forced to halt and wait for his companions to catch up, giving the stone man a chance to regain ground. Realizing running away was fruitless, Zard orders his friends towards a steep ravine. Richard thinks Zard led them the wrong way, but Zard orders them to duck behind a nearby boulder, knowing Cragmar would come after the Guardian first.

The trio hide while the Guardian performs a strange dance to taunt his pursuer. Without warning, Zard leaps up onto Cragmar's face when the stone man is close enough. Cragmar, too slow to be puzzled, brushes Zard off his face and reaches for him to grab the Guardian.

Zard evades Cragmar's clumsy movements with a quick jump to the side. Undeterred, Cragmar again reaches for Zard, only to have the Guardian evade him again. For a third time Cragmar attempts to catch Zard, only to have Zard to jump away, but this time Cragmar is ready. The stone man's left hand waits for Zard to dodge Cragmar's right hand, and the left hand grabs Zard's tail when the Guardian dodges. But Zard makes a quick motion and jumps over the edge of the ravine, leaving his tail in Cragmar's hand.

Cragmar, stunned that his prey had escaped so easily, tosses the tail aside and jumps in the ravine after his foe. A sudden crash erupts from the ravine and dust builds up in the chasm. When siilence emerges, the trio look down the ravine and see an outline of rubble which Cragmar had once been. The stone man had shattered upon impact.

The three ponder the fate of Zard when a familiar lizard figure emerges across Cragmar's remains, scuttling up the cliffside until he reaches the amazed trio. Zard explains Cragmar's stupid drive to go after him at all costs, and isn't concerned about the lack of his tail because of his misjudgement. He states he needs to retrieve his weapon, which Cragmar hid but luckliy Zard knows where it lies. He disappears over the lip of the ravine as he sets off to retrieve it.

During this, Orkan is uninterested and continues to quietly lavish attention on the amulet he took from Dragora. The amulet seems to whisper to him, telling him not to concern himself with Richard, calling Orkan the Chosen One of the amulet. Orkan smiles as a rhyme begins to play inside his mind:

Blood runs through the thickest lake,
Blood that makes the Gator wake,
Blood that others want to make,
Blood, the thirst that you can slake,
Blood that makes for no mistake,
Blood the prize that you can take.
Blood! The blood of those you hate!

Richard meanwhile watches Orkan and witnesses his friend lapsing into strange emotions because of the amulet. Richard decided to confront Orkan when a loud noise catches his attention. He turns to see an enormous avalanche roar down the cliffside where Zard had disappeared to retrieve his weapon. Richard recalls the words of the prophecy recalling a death with a final fall. Could it have referred to Zard instead of Cragmar?

Characters:

Cragmar is a giant man of stone who was created by the Evil One solely for the purpose of guarding the Guardian Zard. Cragmar's intellect is very slow mentally and he has no weapons to use for fighting, but his strengths make him a reliable guard. His powerful strength allows him to destroy anything that can't get out of the way, and his stone body allows him to repel any conventional weapons that might hurt him. His slow intellect also renders him unable to be puzzled by an attacker, making him single-minded in any task set before him.

"From deep in the rockface, an enormous figure was struggling to free itself. It thrashed about, clawing at the rock with massive limbs until it finally stood in the open. It was a gigantic man made entirely of stone. His craggy features swivelled about before fixing on the companions. Then he grinned. From where they stood, the trio could hear the grating sounds as the stoneman's cheeks creased. He began to walk towards them. Every time his monstrous feet hit the ground, they heard the crunch of rubble being disintegrated underfoot."

Zard is the Guardian of Lizards and the Keeper of the Pod of Justice. Being the leader of the Lizard Forces, he is naturally a giant lizard. He his remarkably agile and speedy, and if his tail is snagged he can detatch from it with ease with the ability to grow a new one later on. His weapon of choice is a giant twin-sided battle axe. When the Evil One conquered the Ancestral World and Zard set out to seek help, he was captured by the Evil One and placed in the care of Cragmar, who kept Zard pinned underneath a giant boulder for a prison.

Comments:

Another volume, another Guardian. With the sixteenth issue of The Ancestral Trail, Richard and his companions release another Guardian from the clutches of the Evil One, bringing the total of rescued Guardians to three. With the arrival of each Guardian, they each show off their unique abilities and strengths. Juroot, for example, appears to rely on his strength, while Kika prefers using her quick reflexes from a distance. With Zard, he seems to utilize his agility, though this is without his weapon, which will be revealed in the next volume to be a giant battle axe.

As the issue's monster, Cragmare proves to be an interesting, potentially dangerous foe despite his slow mind. While he is unable to move quickly, he is invulnerable to attack because of his stone skin, and his slow mind makes him difficult to confuse thanks to his single-mindedness. However, that narrow vision of his ends up getting him killed when he chases after Zard down the cliff, causing him to shatter on impact and die. He made a decent guard for the Guardian when Zard was imprisoned, but as a pursuer he lacked the necessary focus needed to capture someone more agile and smarter than he was.

Finally, Orkan's strange behavior begins to grow more disturbing with each volume. First the amulet made him indifferent to his friends, one who wanted to seek his own fortune and save his own skin whenever danger reared its head. But that has quickly evolved into a bloodlust, a desire to kill those that he hates. All of this accumulates into the poem cited above, a poem that reflects a dark future ahead for Orkan. Interestingly enough, the poem mentions a "Gator", which happens to be the main creature in the next volume of the series. Does this Gator have anything to do with this amulet?

Quotes:

"Never mind me! Get away from Cragmar. He's here to stop me getting out. He won't touch me so long as I'm still in the Evil One's prison. Save yourselves!"

-Zard

"Get under cover! Don't mind Cragmar. He'll come after me first because he'll be in big trouble if the Evil One finds I've escaped. You'll be fine so long as you stay out of sight. Meanwhile, I've got a trick or two up my sleeve. Go quickly. Here he comes."

-Zard

Melek: "How did you escape? We thought you were dead!"
Zard: "I knew Cragmar was stupid enough to follow me wherever I went. Luckily, being a lizard, I can jump anywhere and not be hurt. What I didn't foresee was that he'd get my tail, but it doesn't matter, I'll soon grow another. I must get my weapon back, though, and I know exactly where Cragmar hid it."

"They will never know. You are safe with me. Pay no attention to these others. Their concerns are not yours, their aims are not yours. They are foolish. You are wise. You need have no fear. Death is the only umpire. Victory is given only to those chosen survivors. You are my Chosen One."

-Orkan's amulet

Go to Ancestral Trail #17 - Gator, Reptile Warrior

Why I love Fandom Wank

2007-03-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

Q: Why would Jesus make a poor World of Warcraft player?

It's amazing how an unfunny joke about Jesus can turn into a multi-page wankfest about atheism and Christianity. However, one comment made by an unspecified guy made the entire thing all worth it, and it just happens to be the answer to the question above.

A: "It took jesus three days just to walk back to his body and spawn again..."

Thank you so much, Fandom Wank, for the best laugh I had all day.

The Ancestral Trail #15: Narkum, the Fly King

2007-03-04T19:47:00.000-05:00

At the Mercy of the Fiendish Spy Master

Story:

On the Fifteenth Day...

Flying foes are everywhere
On the ground and in the air.
Hidden from the light of day,
A place to stop, but not to stay.
Here countless dark eyes will see you,
And the burning flames will free you,
But a false friend will deceive you.
Your hidden treasure will leave you.

Richard and his friends hasten into the forest to get away from the Grapfrits, but inside they discover there's no place to hide inside the twisted woods. As the drone of the beasts rises, Richard is about to lose all hope when he notices a crevasse in the bottom of a nearby tree. Thinking it might be a place to hide, he leads his friends towards the tree, and to his surprise finds a small door nestled among the roots.

Knowing it was their only safe haven, Richard tries to open the door with no luck. Then Orkan throws his weight against the door and it creaks open. The trio quickly throw themselves inside, closing the door behind them. Outside, the Grapfrits lose trace of their prey because of their poor eyesight and fly past the tree without a second's thought. Soon, the creatures' drone fades completely away.

Richard suggests they remain inside the tree for a little while in case the Grapfrits return, but a strange glow coming from inside the tree and a stench of rotting meat changes his mind, instead suggesting they read the Book of Prophecies before leaving. In the little light let through the door, Melek reads the new prophecy. Richard has an idea who the "treacherous friend" might be, but he doesn't say anything. Realizing the prophecy is suggesting their haven isn't safe, he suggests it's time to leave.

But the door doesn't open, and in fact it seems to shrink before their eyes until they can no longer open it. Suddenly, a voice from inside calls to them menacingly, and the three turn around to look at the bright light inside. There, inside the glow, they see a monstrous fly wielding a septre, sneering at them.

Richard is mesmerized by the mere sight of the giant fly's eyes, and he tries to tear his gaze away, only to notice another glimmer of light: the sceptre in the fly's hand with jewels that match the creature's eyes. He watches for a moment as flies buzz around the monster, as if relaying him information, before Richard decides to act.

Drawing his sword, Richard orders his friends to cut their way through the door to freedom. But the giant fly intercedes by ordering a giant swarm of flies to descent about the trio. They try to kill the flies, but there are just too many to even deal with. Richard suddenly gets an idea. Remembering Golan's invisibility cloak, he pulls the hood over his head, thinking it would help him. Alas, the flies foil the magic effect by clinging to Richard's body, covering him in a living skin of flies.

The giant fly gives a command and the swarm of flies leads the trio towards the center of the chamber, where the creature sat across a pool of glowing embers. Richard, in defeat, removes his hood and demands who the creature is. The fly introduces himself as Narkum, the Fly King and Spy Master, and identifies Richard as the Chosen One, chosen by Golan to save the Ancestral World. Richard tries to have no idea what Narkum is talking about, but Narkum reveals how his fly spies let him know everything that goes on in the world and that he knows everything.

Richard, in anger, draws his blade again and tries to lunge for the fly king. But Orkan, who had been nervously fingering his amulet, shoots out his foot and trips Richard up, sending the Chosen One sprawling to the ground before the ember. Narkum laughs, but in his glee he neglects to keep an eye on one of the trio, Melek. Melek had circled one edge of the embers, and when Narkum laughs his makes his move. He takes his rope and lassoes it around Narkum's sceptre, pulling it from his grasp.

The sceptre bounces off a far wall before crashing to the ground, shattering the eye-like jewels in its head. Instantly, the swarm of flies falls to the ground, covering the floor in a black living carpet and buzzing helplessly, and the door behind the trio opens. Narkum, stunned by the unexpected maneuver, glares at Richard with a seething hatred.

Narkum gazes at the door and a wooden pole slams shut, and Richard realizes Narkum or his power had to be destroyed. Richard looks at Orkan, who is nearest the sceptre, and tells him to destroy it. But Orkan, in a panic, darts towards the door. Melek cuts Orkan off and grabs the warrior's sword before rushing to the sceptre and using it to flip it into the fiery embers. With a panicked shriek, Narkum races towards his prized sceptre and manages to snatch it just before it falls into the fires.

But as he celebrates, the rod suddenly catches fire, and the flames quickly spread across the sceptre and all over the Fly King's body. As Narkum's body begins to crackle, Richard and his friends head towards the now unlocked exit, with Orkan already halfway through. The swarm of flies, unable to fly, crawl their way after the trio, knowing they would die if they remained. As Richard as his friends exit, Narkum suddenly explodes, causing the tree to scatter shards of bark in every direction. Many of the flies are caught up in the blast and flung against nearby trees, crushed by the shockwaves.

When Richard stands up, he sees a remarkable transformation taking place in the remnants of Narkum's fly arm. The black bodies are splitting open to reveal multi-colored insects, with wings and antennae spreading forth in all directions. Soon, the forest is filled with beautiful flying and crawling insects.

One of the larger insects approaches the Chosen One, but Richard is unafraid. The insect speaks and identifies the new insects as all that remains of the insect race in the Ancestral World, a race enslaved by Narkum to be the Evil One's spies. Richard asks if they have any new information for him, and the insect replies he does not have anything current, though many of the forces freed from the Evil One's power by Richard are now making their way back to the Ancestral City.

The insect says that he and his insect brethen should also get back to the Ancestral City. He salutes Richard before turning to the insects and speaking in insect tongue, forming up squadrons and soon flying out of the forest. Richard watches the insects fly away, feeling a bit depressed as they leave. He reaches for Golan's amulet for comfort, but discovers that it is missing.

When he points out the amulet is missing, Orkan reveals that Narkum has the trinket, and he will never get it back. Shocked, Richard stares at the smoldering remains of Narkum's tree and heads towards it against Melek's pleas. As he treads through the fiery tree, the ground threatens to flare at any moment beneath his feet.

Characters:

Narkum a giant fly who is the self-titled Fly King and Spy Master. He was sent by the Evil One to take care off the insect race of the Ancestral World, and the insects that weren't killed were turned into Narkum's fly slaves. Narkum uses the enslaves insects as his spies and create a network of information for him to relay back to the Evil One's troops. His power comes from a sceptre whose jewels resemble his own eyes.

"Then they saw an enormous fly. It's blue-green body was partially covered with a forest of thick, black hair. Its arms ended in sharp claws. A thin tongue licked horribly from the black funnel of its mouth. Everything about the creature exuded darkness except for its eyes - they were enormous and sparkled with myriad prisms that seemed to reflected light from an uncanny depth. Staring at them, Richard had the impression that they held images not just of the room they were in, but of places very far away."

The Insect Forces are a race of insects that dwell within the Ancestral World under the watch of their guardian Kika. When the Evil One came to the Ancestral World, he sent his minion Narkum to conquer the insect race. Much of the insects were killed, and the survivors became Narkum's brainwashed slaves, mutated into flies. When Narkum was killed by the Chosen One, the insects were free of Narkum's spell and shed their fly shells.

Comments:

As mentioned back in the commentary for issue twelve, the giant scorpions were not the last giant insect to appear in the Ancestral World. In issue thirteen, the heroes meets Narkum, the Fly King and self-proclaimed Spy Master of the Evil One. Narkum is an interesting character in that on his own he is completely useless, but when he commands an army of flies he is more of a threat. Of course, an army of flies can only do so much, so it's befitting that he is the Evil One's spy. If The Ancestral Trail ever went into depth concerning how the Evil One thought and acted during the course of the series, I wonder how the Evil One would've reacted when his main spy was killed by the Chosen One?

This issue also shows Orkan's behavior becoming a hindrance to the quest. When Richard tried to attack Narkum, Orkan tripped him up. The amulet is obviously doing more than make Orkan a coward, and it will be interesting to see how far things go in later issues of the series.

Finally, it's interesting to note that this issue shows an instance when Richard's given magical abilities failed. He tried to use Golan's invisibility cloak to hide himself, but the flies made sure that didn't help him in the slightest. Will something like this backfire in later issues, possibly?

Quotes:

"I don't think you want to leave just yet."

-Narkum

Narkum: "I am Narkum, the Fly King and Spy Master, and you are the Chosen One. You are Golan's minions. Feeble pawns who have been duped into certain death by the honeyed tongue of one who claims to be 'good'. Ha!"
Richard: "Golan? Never heard of him. We were crossing the forest when we were attacked by Grapfrits. You've got no cause to hold us. We've no grudge against you."
Narkum: "You will have soon. You see, I know everything about you and your worthless quest. My spies are everywhere in this realm. They see all and report back to me. I know everything that happens here, and in other worlds, too. Your lives are mine from beginning to end."

"Get the sceptre! Throw it on to the fire."

-Richard

Richard: "The amulet! It's gone. We must find it."
Orkan: "I saw it. It's in there. Narkum has it, and you can never get it back."

The Ancestral Trail #14: Hulkan, the Mole Monster

2007-02-25T03:45:00.000-05:00

Under Attack from the Mud Warriors

Story:

On the Fourteenth Day...

Follow the reptile tail
To find the hidden trail.
A monster underground!
Seek the way that height has found.
Beware the foe within,
The safety water brings
Is fine but no avail.
Eyes that fly bring new travail.

The chamber continues to crumble all around Richard and his companions, threatening to bury them in Cobra's Keep. As Richard turns to face his comrades, he catches sight of a lizard tail disappearing inside a large crack in a nearby wall. He shouts to his friends and points out the crack, and they waste no time crawling through the rough tunnel inside after the lizards.

The interior of the tunnel is still intensely hot, and the rough edges and sand force them to dig their way partally through. However, the tremors eventually grow fainter and sand morphs into more solid ground. Soon, the four friends emerge into daylight on a hillside, near mountains on the other side of the desert. A loud rumble catches their notice and they all turn to face the now distant Sand City. A large fireball explodes above the city, destroying it completely and leaving only smoldering ashes.

Kika turns to Richard and says that she'll now leave the group so she can take the lizard forces to the Ancestral City, where they are needed. She then lowers her voice to a whisper and warns Richard about Orkan, who was acting strangely, and whom Richard should keep an eye on. With those words, Kika gathers the lizard forces up and leads them to the Ancestral City to join Juroot and his bird forces.

With Kika gone, Richard wonders about Kika's warning, but doesn't see anything wrong with the pigman. After the trio head down the hillside, Melek reads the newest prophecy from the Book of Prophecies. Richard notes the first part has already been fulfilled and gives the propechy another read when the ground beneath them begins to shake. The group turns and sees a large mound building up in the soil behind them.

The mound grows with each passing second with the sounds of digging clearly heard underneath, and the hill suddenly explodes, revealing a monstrous black creature underneath. Melek quickly recognizes the beast, identifying it as Hulkan the mole monster. He reveals Hulkan's blindness and heightened senses of smell and hearing, as well as the deadliness of his claws and teeth.

The trio ties to tiptoe away from Hulkan without alerting him, but Hulkan's nose flare at their movements. Knowing hiding was useless, the group tries running instead, but quickly found themselves floundering in a bracken - making matters worse was Richard still carrying the Book of Prophecies. Realizing they might have to fight, Richard draws Juroot's dagger and calls for Orkan to distract Hulkan. To Richard'ssurprise, Orkan turns away and tries in vain to run through the bracken. Richard quickly orders Orkan to return.

At this moment, Richard hears chuckling and turns back to Hulkan, who was now surrounded by an army of small brown figures. He watches as the creature picks up clay in the ground and uses his clawed hands to mold little men, which spring to life and begin to give chase. Horrified, Richard struggles after Orkan while Melek gets his leg caught on a piece of bracken.

The figures, on the other hand, have no trouble making their way through the bracken and easily catch up to Richard and Orkan. The little mud men quickly surround the two and cling haphazardly to each other, forming a wall of dirt in front of them. By the time Orkan and Richard reach the wall, the mud figures begin forming a wall behind them, and soon the wall grows to become a sphere of encasing mud. Richard's attempts to hack the mud wall with his blade prove to be useless.

Meanwhile, Melek manages to free himself from the bracken and sees his companions' predicament. He thinks for a moment before getting an idea and climbing a nearby tree, where he is able to look down at his entrapped friends. As Melek scans the area for water, Richard clasps Golan's amulent and asks for help; Golan replies and informs Richard to seek out water. Richard cannot see any water over the enclosing mud men wall, but Melek manages to spot a stream nearby.

Suddenly, Melek notices something in the mud wall: an opening that hadn't yet been closed. As he scrambles back down the tree, he calls out to his friends and directs them towards the hole. Hulkan, too busy making his mud men to finish the mud circle, doesn't notice the hole in the wall, but the little figures do. They try to untangle themselves to close the escape, but Richard and Melek manage to get out before they can do so.

With Richard and Melek out of the mud enclosure, Melek quickly waves for his friends to follow him. The mud men quickly give chase, and soon Hulkan roars in anger at discovering the loss of his prey. The mole monster dives into the ground and tunnels after them furiously, but the ground has grown rockier and forces Hulkan to surface once again and allow his army of mud men to give chase. Some of the mud men catch up to Richard and try to slow him down by flinging themselves onto his leg, but they have little effect and the trio eventually reach the river.

Despite Orkan's reservations, the trio launch into the river from a dangerous height. They land safely in the thankfully deep waters, though Richard does injure his leg. The mud men, upon reaching the river's edge, hesitate before flinging themselves into the river as well to give chase.

In the river, the trio are immediately caught up in some powerful rapids and dragged down through some currents. Thankfully, they manage to reach the opposite bank at the end of the gorge, though Melek needs to be rescued by his friends for taking the heavy Book of Prophecies back from Richard before jumping into the stream. Before they can relax, Melek points to where they had come from, and Richard and Melek look to see the display of countless mud men leaping into the river in pursuit.

Thinking they would have to make a last stand, Richard readies himself for the onslaught. But there is no need: as Melek excitedly points out, the mud men are dissolving in the river as soon as they hit the water. Within a matter of moments, every single mud man had thrown itself into the river and melted away, leaving a thick slop that was carried away by the currents.

With Hulkan and his army no longer a threat, Richard and his companions begin making their way up the bank, which soon merges with a forest. As the trio walk through the trees, Richard turns to Orkan and presses him about his earlier behavior, about running away from Hulkan. Orkan ignores the question and acts dodgy. Richard realizes Kika was right in that something has happened to Orkan, but before he could think any further about the matter, he hears a familiar drone in the air. The others hear it as well and the three begin running, knowing all too well the sound of attacking Grapfrits.

Characters:

Hulkan is a monstrous mole monster who dwells on a large soily plain known as Hulkan Heights. While he is blind, he has sharp hearing and a keen sense of smell that let him know when prey is close. His teeth and claws are enough to shred meat to pieces and he can burrow through the ground and lightning speed, but his preferred methods of catching his prey is using magical means to create an army of little mud men that trap creatures by surrounding them with makeshift mud men enclosures.

"The trio stared whide-eyed as a sleep, black shape begain to work its way out of the top of the mound. Slowly, more and more of the creature emerged. Its glossy black coat shone in the sunlight, parting at the mouth to show long, spade-shaped teeth. Two stubby arms ended in sharp-clawed paddle-like paws. As far as the three could see, it had no eyes, but there were two minuscule nostril sthat twitched, sniffing the air. On either side of the smooth head were tiny holes that might have been ears."

Comments:

One of the traditions of The Ancestral Trail is to show creatures that are merely enlargened, monstrous versions of everyday animals seen in the real world, and volume fourteen of the series continues that tradition. Instead of another giant bug a la Baal the giant spider or the scorpion guards of Sand City, however, we get Hulkan the mole monster, joining the Giant Mammal Club to give Enlil some company. Hulkan is a rather interesting creature in that while he certainly has the means to take prey head on (his teeth and claws certainly indicate so), he prefers to capture his prey indirectly by using an army of mud men to corral them. While perhaps unusual, this can be seen as a way for Hulkan to protect himself from being overzealous. If he can contain his prey in a small space, he doesn't risk as much possible injury to himself upon going in for the kill.

Also in this volume, the identify of the third pod is revealed near the end of the volume, when Richard was pressing Orkan for an explanation of his actions: "Richard asked again, willing Orkan to be all right. He felt a sense of justice run through his mind, as he recalled all the good things Orkan had done since they had met." The second sentence indicates the pod is the Pod of Justice, which happens to be the Life Force Pod of Juroot.

Speaking of Orkan's behavior, it has certainly added a new dimension to the story. What would've happened if Orkan hadn't been affected by the amulet around his neck when Hulkan attacked? Would he have not run away, and thus would Richard and his friends have faced Hulkan head on? And how will Orkan's behavior affect things later down the road? Only future volumes can tell.

Finally, there's one small amusing note to mention concerning this volume: while in the previous volume Dragora was clearly identified as female, the three-headed cobra was accidentally referred to as a male in the following segment: "...leaving only a rising column of sand and ash to mark the grave of Dragora and his scorpion guards."

Quotes:

"Over here! The lizards have found a way out!"

-Richard

"Watch out for Orkan. I think something's happened to him. I don't know what...maybe it's the effect of that scorpion sting."

-Kika

"Hulkan! The mole monster! I've heard about him. He can't see us, but he can smell us, and he hears every sound. His teeth and claws can rip us to shred."

-Melek

"They're dissolving. Look! They're melting away as soon as they hit the water."

-Melek

"Why didn't you help me against Hulkan? You ran like a mouse. What's happened to you?"

-Richard

Go to #15 - Narkum, the Fly King

Vista: A distant view or prospect

2007-02-22T20:46:00.000-05:00

I don't hate Microsoft. I just don't like them.

Now there's a subtle difference between the meaning of those two sentences. The word "hate" implies an active dislike against something, as in generating or creating something to directly oppose upon which the hate is directed. And the word "like" suggests some positive feelings are being directed towards something, whether they are amorous, platonic, or just plain friendly. With those definitions out of the way, I can firmly state that I don't hate Microsoft in that I am not actively campaigning for their downfall and wish to see every employee in Redmond drawn and quartered for their "contributions" to society. However, I can also firmly state that I also don't like Microsoft in that I am not a fan of their "contributions" and I would sincerely like to take my business elsewhere.

Confused? How about this analogy? Ever heard of Nickelback? The band that writes horrible songs like Someday and How You Remind Me? I don't hate them and secretly dream of them breaking up forever a la Van Halen. I just don't like them, because they write crappy music. But I digress...

Over the past couple years, Microsoft has really worn me down, and recently things have come to a breaking point. You can probably guess why (hint: read the title of this post). And this wasn't a sudden bandwagong thing either, but something that was building over a long period of time.

It all started with something quite a lot of people undoubtedly have heard about by now: Internet Explorer. That backdoor to the internet's toxic sludge dump filled with adware, spyware, malware, and viruses has been responsible for a vast majority of computer problems (and in turn makes my friends who work in tech support quite rich), and one day I got fed up with it and switched to the Firefox browser. It turned out to be a fantastic decision, and my computer has been free of crapware ever since.

Of course, that only started my fascination with Microsoft and their vulnerabilities. Could they really be that bad when it came to security and operating system stability? On my previous computers I've worked on Microsoft 98, 2000, and (currently) XP, and with my lack of knowledge in computer programming I really didn't understand the inner workings of Microsoft's OSes, nor did I care. They worked just fine for me (though I knew enough to thank goodness I never had Microsoft ME), and I never saw a reason to buy into the hard core programmers' decree that Windows was a terrible operating system.

That is...until recently.

You see, two things happened: 1) I hung around certain people; and 2) Microsoft's attempts to shoot itself in the foot are becoming more apparent. Let's take a look at the former reason first.

After graduating with a bachelor's in Engineering Physics, I enrolled in graduate school in Aerospace Engineering. My current research project involves working heavily with code, which means getting to know the machines that run that code. This means hanging around people who know far more about code than I do, and these people have a lot to say. For starters, these code-maniacs can't stand Microsoft and their OS. You'd get the feeling that if they received a computer with Windows pre-installed, they'd sprinkle the thing with holy water before wiping the hard drive clean to install Ubuntu. And these people know what they're talking about, so it's pretty easy to listen to what they had to say.

And what they have to say is quite amazing. They can go into detail why Windows is an awful operating system, from allowing too many unnecessary processes to run simultaneously to creating potential problems by allowing certain files to be easily overwritten. Two fellas I've become recently acquainted with, a coder and a professor, haave Linux installed on their systems, and they swear by it. I got the chance to see Linux Ubuntu in action, and it completely floored me with its appearance and capabilities. If I had an extra computer lying around, I wouldn't hesitate in installing a Linux OS just to give it a test run.

Of course, all of the advice in the world wouldn't amount to a hill of beans if it weren't backed up with evidence, and that's where the second point comes in: I am beginning to see clearly how Microsoft is beating itself up.

The signs of Windows' faultiness emerged gradually over the past few years. My parent's computer, running the "stable" Windows XP, founds new and exciting ways to mess up my mom's account. My dad, a man who is hardly a technical person when it comes to computers, called Windows a "donkey system". My brother's computer was invaded by a horde of viruses just by switching to a new wireless network. Now, most of these problems were ignorable or fixable, but Microsoft is determined to outdo itself, and it's name is Vista.

Vista, the operating system years in the making, the OS hyped to be Microsoft's most secure and greatest OS ever, is proving to be an expensive game of Russian roulette. While it fixed some problems, it created others, and it's still not as secure as it could be. Most of its best features were "borrowed" from Apple's OS X, and the thing requires hefty hardware just to run some of its highly touted features. All in all, there is little to nothing in Vista that justifies the hype and a need to switch, and under normal circumstances I would wait to get a new computer before I got Vista (like how I got XP).

But these are not normal circumstances. As told by news reports and my computer buddies, Vista is Microsoft's attempt to exhert more control over its customers. The most blatant example: Digital Rights Management, DRM. Basically, DRM are programs that try to force copyrights onto files like music files, DVDs, etc., in an effort to curb piracy. It's a worthwhile endeavor to curb piracy, but DRM is a failing fighter in the war because it just doesn't work. DVD encryptions like region coding have been cracked. One of Sony's allegedly unbreakable music CD encryptions could be defeated by a felt tip marker. Another one of Sony's CD encryptions resulted in the infamous rootkit debacle. Blue-ray and HD-DVD's encryptions have already been broken. Yet Microsoft is determined to put this technology hard, and it's the degree of how hard that's troubling.

Basically, if Microsoft had their way, they would not only make DRM applicable to software, but to hardware, which makes it more difficult (but never impossible) to crack . If a movie is played on a Microsoft OS, they would love for the monitor to be part of the encryption program. They would also love to install limitations on computer CD burners and the like. All of this from a company whose own mp3 player, the Zune, can't even play music files encrypted with Microsoft's own DRM software. In an effort to stamp out piracy, actions like this also severely restrict law-abiding citizens from doing what they enjoy doing. In other words, it assumes everyone is guilty and doesn't attempt to prove innocence. And Vista looks to be a huge part of this strategy.

This, and other things, have made me seriously shake my head at Microsoft, a company I didn't have (and still don't have) a beef with. The recent bad press with Vista has convinced me that getting the OS simply isn't worth it. In fact, if my computer were to break down today, I would seriously consider buying a Mac or installing Linux, software incompatibilities be damned.

A distant prospect, indeed.

Until next time, have a good one.

It's like déjà vu all over again

2007-02-17T23:40:00.000-05:00

After putting this blog on hiatus for about a year - aside from a lone update for my Ancestral Trail blog - I've decided that it's time I started writing in it again. Of course, things have changed since the first couple years, during which I wrote several blog entries a week. Then, I was an Engineering Physics undergraduate; now, I'm a graduate student pursuing a Masters in Aerospace Engineering, meaning the free time I have has been severely reduced.

Therefore, my desire to update this blog as frequently as I did before might seem like a bit of a stretch. However, I am planning on updating a bit more frequently than I was before the hiatus...okay, a lot frequently. Whether I write anything interesting in those more frequently writings will be up for debate, however...not that anyone wants to debate something that stupid, of course.

So, with the "triumphant" return of this blog (*listens to crickets*), what shall I write about? How can I pad things with something so useless to everyone but vaguely interesting to yours truly? How about post pictures and descriptions about the various items lying around my apartment?

...

So without further, adieu, let's get things started.

This is a picture of my main desk. It houses my laptop computer (which basically functions as a desktop for me, since I rarely take it outside), my printer, my scanner, and anything else I may have lying around. The laptop is a Dell Inspiron 9300, which is an absolutely awesome piece of machinery that replaced my aging Compaq several years ago. And if you're wondering what that picture on the monitor is of, it's a scene from the opening of 霹靂劫之末世錄 (otherwise known as Pili: Apocalypse).

To the right of the laptop is my printer, a Samsung Laster Printer ML-1740. I bought this printer around the same time I purchased my Dell laptop, because at the time I was fed up with my current printer, a Lexmark ink printer. Long story short: the Lexmark was ripping me off with its constant demand for ink cartridges that dried up too quickly and cost more than liquid gold, so I replaced it. I couldn't be happier, as I've used it many times since I bought it and I've yet to change the laser ject cartridge.

Here is a picture of my scanner, a Hewlett Packard ScanJet 4100C. It looks ancient...and it is. Actually, if I remember correctly, this thing was purchased along with my family's first computer when we moved to the States, meaning it's been with us for a long time. It's so old, that the driver needed to make it work actually doesn't work on my parents' new computer. However, the thing surprisingly works on my laptop, and thanks to it I've been using it to scan in images for my Ancestral Trail blog...not to mention helping out my brother with some last-minute assignments.

This is a new toy I picked up only recently: the Palm Z22. For most of my life I've been good at procrastination, but until now I could deal with doing things at the last minute. Now, obviously, as a grad student, putting things off is a huge no-no, so I decided to do something about it. The Z22 is a really inexpensive PDA with limited functionality, but it does exactly what I need it to do: maintain my schedule and tasks. As long as I follow what I've written in this thing, I should be a lot more productive than I've been in the past.

Ah, the iPod. Anyone that doesn't have this is...er, no possessing of one, I guess. In any case, this 30GB hard drive wrapped up in white is the biggest container of my music files. And judging by the counter on Winamp, I currently have enough music to last about five days straight...which is nice, because this has saved my sanity on several occasions. How? Well, you try working part time at the American Cancer Society and enter in check information for eight hours!

This is another new toy I picked up recently: the Wacom Graphire 4X5 tablet. What use is a tablet? On one hand, it's a fancy mouse. On the other hand, it helps me draw things a lot more easily than I would with a mouse.

For the past few years, the Playstation 2 has been my one and only console. It turned out to be an absolutely stellar choice. With games ranging from Devil May Cry to Ico, from Prince of Persia: Sands of Time to Resident Evil 4, from Guitaroo Man to Rez, from Shadow of the Colossus to God of War, the games on this console have been absolutely fantastic. It was only recently that I decided to expand console collection and get a Gamecube, and thanks to the release of the Wii, I got one for practically nothing. It turned out to be a great investment, since I not only got to play the recent Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, but also get my hands on earlier classics like Metroid Prime, Super Mario Sunshine, and Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker.

Now, from the above picture, the PS2's controller is not plugged into the console. Why? Because there's something else plugged into the PS2:

That's right, the almighty Haromix guitar for the PS2 games Guitar Hero/2. I received this game for Christmas, and it has gotten a lot of playtime in my apartment. So far I've only been able to do fairly well on most medium-level songs and a select few hard-level songs, but I look forward to the day when I'll be able to play that red ax on Expert.

And that about does it for a brief tour of my apartment. There are other things, of course, but best not to give everything away at once. Maybe next time...if I feel like it.

Until then, have a good one.

The Ancestral Trail #13: Dragora's Inner Sanctum

2007-02-17T19:25:00.000-05:00

Fight to the Death in Cobra's Keep

Story:

On the Thirteenth Day...

Three heads to find the true,
Three jaws to bite them.
Six eyes to see the few,
One king to fight them.
Venom hides the golden goal,
Another prize awaits.
Released it takes a dreadful toll
On those who chance its fate.
Deep in darkest tomb,
Beware the cracks of doom.

As the scorpion tightens its grip on the Guardian Kika with its pincers, Kika manages to fumble for her blowpipe without alerting her captor. The scorpion glowers gleefully as it squeezes its prey to the point of collapse, but before it can deal the final blow Kika wriggles her arms free and uses her last breath to blow a dart into the scoropion's left eye, killing it through its brain.

Kika drops to the ground as Richard and Orkan struggle to reach her through the wave of scorpions, their weapons blunted from the creatures' tough armor. Kika orders her friends to hide, and abruptly takes to the air, out of reach of the scorpions. Taking her advice, Richard leads his friends through the fray and down a main streeet. The eventually find themselves in a very narrow alleyway, a growing sandstorm hiding the pursuing scorpions from their sight. When Orkan inquires about their next move, Richard states they need to get the pod before wasting anymore time.

Melek pulls out the Path Finder and Richard uses it to find the golden tipped direction. As the trio heads in the indicated direction, the scorpions howl with rage as the sandstorm confuses them. Soon, the trio reach a large deserted square in the middle of the city, flanked by columns and statues all around. Kika suddenly drops down from the sky, and Richard tells her he believes the pod is located somewhere within this square and a secret entrance must exist somewhere.

After a search of the square, the group finds a plinth missing a statue. Believing this to be the secret entrance, the group searches for a possible entrance mechanism before Richard notices a ball sitting on the edge of the plinth. He bends down and gives it a firm push, and the plinth beneath them starts to sink and tip forward.

Richard, Orkan and Melek find themselves landing in a huge pile of sand in a vast underground chamber, while Kika glides to the bottom to join her friends. The chamber is most certainly Cobra's Keep, as it is decorated with statues and carvings resembling snakes. At the other end of the chamber, Richard notices a large unidentifiable mound half-hidden by the shadows, and decides to investigate. But before he could move forward, the mound stirs as the mass takes the shape of a giant snake with three heads. Kika confirms that the beast is Dragora, the three-headed cobra.

Dragora lunches with quick reflexes towards the group, lashing out at three separate targets. The group manages to scatter, though one of Kika's wings are pierced by one of the monster's black tongues. Orkan responds by firing several arrows at the beast, and one arrow manages to pierce one of Dragora's heads, sending it into shrieks of agony as the other two heads continue to attack.

One head locks onto Melek and manages to sink its fangs into the scribe, but luckily the fangs only enter the Book of Prophesies and don't even scratch the scribe himself. As Melek struggles to escape, the spine tears apart and Melek doesn't notice the Path Finder falling out of its protective sleeve.

Dragora's prey soon proves too quick for her to handle. Orkan kills another head with his arrows and Kika slows it down with a barrage of darts. Eventually, one of Orkan's arrows sinks into the cobra's single heart and Dragora falls to the ground, dead.

With the beast slain, Richard asks Melek for the Path Finder. The scribe discovers in horror that the instrument is missing, and Richard quickly tells his friends to look for it. The four split up and scour the floor of the Keep for the instrument, shuffling their feet in the sand. Suddenly, Orkan exclaims excitedly for his friends to get to his side. Richard thinks Orkan has found the Path Finder, but instead Orkan has found an iron grate in the floor, beneath which he can see something moving in a large pit.

Intrigued, Richard and Orkan removed the grate and wait for something to happen. Then, a large lizard crawls out of the pit before wobbling around the room. As more lizards emerge from the pit, Kika states that they were the reptile forces of the Guardian Zard.

While watching the reptile forces emerge from the pit, Richard notices the heat inside the chamber is starting to rise noticeably. Even Kika's wings were beginning to wilt. She explains that Dragora is triggering the rise in heat - with her dead, the lifeforce she sucked out of Sand City was being released.

As they quicken the search for the Path Finder amidst the growing throng of lizards, Orkan suddenly cries out he found it by stepping on it. Richard picks up the Path Finder and points around the Keep, and as the instrument points to Dragora's carcass its tip turns golden. Remembering the prophecy, he realizes the pod must be somewhere on Dragora. He laments that they still don't know how the Path Finder really works when Melek, who is reading the Book of Prophecies, suddenly exlaims he found the passage of the Path Finder:

Across Green fields, Overland you go,
where winter solstice White brings Ice and snow.
The Grey dove flies to fresher Air,
and shuns the Yellow swamp of Wastes' despair.
When Blue eyes, to Water clear aspire,
round campsites Orange tongues will wage in Fire.
Out of Stone, the Cities cloaked in sand,
and Brown caves weave in secret, Underland.
The Silver moon shines potent magic Light,
through Black skies loom in silent dark of Night.
Golden glimmers brightest on the spear,
and leads to Good, when journey's end is near.

Realizing the colors respond to different locations, Richard renews his idea to search Dragora, where the instrument pointed golden. He and his friends search the already decaying carcass, thinking it might be in Dragora's coils, but when Richard looks up he sees a familiar purple glint in one of Dragora's mouths. He discovers the pod sitting in Dragora's teeth, as hinted in the prophecy.

Meanwhile, Orkan makes his own discovery: an amulet hanging around one of Dragora's necks. He considers telling his friends about his find, but he doesn't as a strange urge overcomes him. As if lured in a dream, Orkan removes the amulet from the beast's neck and slips it around his own, hiding it beneath his clothes. Richard states that they need to find a way out of the Keep before the rising temperature cooks them, and the group begins searching.

As they search, Orkan fingers the amulet, glad he had taken it and considering telling his friends about it one day. But then he considers whether they really are his friends? Weren't they simply using him as expendable muscle? He vows to slip away at the right time so he could make his own fortune.

Suddenly, the earth begins to shake and the chambers' decorations start to crumble all around them. The group looks around in horror, while the lizards scatter in panic. A piece of ceiling misses Richard and Orkan as Orkan looks at his companion and laughs wildly, claiming there is no escape from this chamber.

Characters:

Dragora is a monstrous three-headed cobra that lives beneath Sand City in a chamber known as Cobra's Keep. While she doesn't control the scorpions that guard the ground levels of the city, Dragora does maintain a hold over the city by feeding off of its lifeforce. She is also the creature chosen by the Evil One to guard the lizard forces of Zard, as Enlil did for the Common Beasts.

"Even as he spoke, Richard heard a slithering rustle coming from the mount. It had begun to change shape. A tail curled around an elaborate throne. Then three monstrous heads rose into the air, their hoods spread out, casting evil black shadows across the room."

The Reptile Forces are the reptilian armies of the Ancestral World, led by the Guardian Zard. After the final battle with the Evil One, the remaining Reptile Forces were captured and taken to Cobra's Keep, where they were placed into a hypnotic trance by Dragora, just as the Common Beasts were with Enlil. When Dragora was slain, the spell over the Reptile Forces was broken.

Comments:

The thirteenth issue of The Ancestral Trail proves to be a lucky one as Richard and company manages to find another Life Force Pod, making it the third Pod found. Now all that remains to be seen is which Pod the third one will be, and a clue will be provided in the next issue, as they were for the previous two pods.

Regarding the story in the issue itself, there are some things to enjoy, and there are some moments to regard as lost opportunity. For the former, it is nice to see the emerging possibility of one of the "good" team members not be so good after all. True, Orkan's strange behavior is seemingly shifted after he put on that pendant - similar to one worn by Enlil to control the Common Beasts - but the fact that Orkan may not be as reliable as he has been thus far proves to be an intriguing idea.

As for lost opportunities, the battle between the heros and Dragora was over a bit too early. After giving Dragora a head start at attacking, the group were then deemed too quick for her and she died without much trouble. While it does show that not all creatures, no matter how monstrous, are close to immortal, it does lessen the impact of the creature's appearance just the same. Also, this issue was the one that finally introduced the instructions to the Path Finder. Unfortunately, it comes a little too late, as Richard had already seemed to previously use the Path Finder correctly without worry. If the Path Finder had caused a terrible accident somewhere in a previous chapter, then these instructions would've felt more important than they do now.

Finally, the cards that relate to the two beings in this issue again demonstrate the discrepancies between the card art and the book art in some cases. Dragora's card shows a brown snake creature, while in the book her scales are darker and more purplish. Meanwhile, the Reptile's Forces card shows a creature that is never seen in the book at all, and it is assumed at the moment that all of Zard's forces are composed of lizards, not snaked.

Quotes:

Orkan: "Well, what do we do next?"
Richard: "Look at the Path Finder! We've got to go for the pod. We mustn't waste our time and energy fighting."

"I don't like the look of that. I'm going to investigate."

-Richard

"Zard's reptile forces. Our numbers grow."

-Kika

"It's Dragora. Her power sucked the lifeforce from Sand City, and now she's dead, it's being released. We've got to move fast. This place is becoming an inferno."

-Kika

"There's no escape. Never!"

-Orkan

The Ancestral Trail #12: Scorpions of the Desert

2006-05-21T19:23:00.000-04:00

Deadly Guards of the Sandy Fortress

Story:

On the Twelfth Day...

Mirage city in the sand,
Out of sight but close at hand,
Hides the fairest in the land.
Corridors of staring eyes
In streets of half-forgotten sighs
Lead them to the golden prize.
Travellers fight pincered might,
Cobra's Keep a dark surprise.

Klaw, in a fit of rage at losing the guardian Kika, rushes with snake-like speed towards Richard and grabs him by the throat. The skeleton man lifts the Richard and peers into his eyes, noticing the different colored pupils. Klaw drops Richard and realizes one of his captives is the Chosen One. Glad that not all had been lost with the Guardian's escape, Klaw grabs a giant double-headed battle axe from one of his bone warrior minions and swings it in preparation of finishing Richard and his friends for good.

Before Klaw can deliver the final blow, Richard hears a high fluttering sound in the air that grows louder until it crescendos with a "violent thud, part crunch, part squelch, as if someone had trodden on an enormous beetle." Klaw instantly appears shocked and drops his axe before he collapses into the sand, a feathered arrow protruding from his bony chest and piercing his rotting mass of a heart. The trio breathe a sigh of relief at Klaw's sudden and unexpected demise, a feeling further heightened as Klaw's bonemen army disintegrates into lifeless heaps with their leader dead.

After the bone army collapses, Kika appears from the sky and lands among the heap of remains. She hands a bewildered Orkan his bow, thanking him for its help. Richard tells her that he thought she had abandoned them to Klaw; Kika replies she needed to head to the mountains to find a rare berry whose poison could kill Klaw, a poison she had smeared on the arrow that had pierced the Evil One's servant's heart. She had hurried back as fast as he could, not even taking time to tend her leg. With this said, she produces a handufl of berries and herbs from her person and smears them into a poultice, which she applies to her leg wound. Instantly the wound feels better.

Remarking that she needs to do one more thing, she hurries to Klaw's corpse and searches for the weapons he had taken from her. Eventually she finds them: a "finely wrought blowpipe and a bundle of needle-sharp darts." With Kika's possessions recovered, the group begin their trek across the desert to find Sand City, where the next Life Force Pod lies.

As they cross the vast expanse of sand, Richard notices how cold the desert becomes as the light begins to fade. Kika sniffs the air and recognizes the odor as a coming storm. She warns her friends, but her warning does little to help them when the rising winds become a fierce shriek that sends showers of sand their way. Forced to hold hands in order not to lose each other, the group forces their way through the sandstorm that threatens to rip their eyes from their sockets. Thankfully, however, the storm attacks them in lulls, giving them some moments of peace.

Then, without warning, as the group reaches the top of one of the sloping landscape's hills, the storm dies down and the scenery of distant ridges ahead of them changes into a city surrounded by a high wall. Kika identifies the metropolis as Sand City, a city that used a mirage of distant ridges as camoflage. Grateful for Kika's guidance, Richard leads his friends towards the city. To their dismay, they find the outer wall is towering and windowless with a single entrance that is guarded. Six creatures stand at the gateway, all of them giant scorpions that do not look at all friendly.

Kika tells her friends to wait hidden by the entrance while searches for an alternate way inside. The Guardian searches along the perimeter of the city as quietly and carefully as she can until she spots a promising locale: a section of the wall that had collapsed outward into a pile of rubble. She flies back and tells Richard, who promptly leads Orkan and Melek to a ridge close to the spot. With Kika making sure the coast inside the city is clear, Richard leaves the safety of the hiding spot and climbs the stone rubble first. At the top, he signals the coast is clear to his friends. Melek makes the journey across the sand and up the rubble next without trouble.

On Orkan's turn, as he races towards the rubble, a giant scorpion suddenly appears out of nowhere. Orkan sprints towards the rubble and scrambles up quickly, but the scorpion guard is faster. Before Orkan can get to safety, the scorpion stabs Orkan's thigh with its enormous stinger and pumps venom into the pigman. Orkan screeches in pain, but manages to unsheathe his sword and cut the scorpion's stinger from the creature's tail. The warrior scrambles to safety before pulling the stinger from his thigh, tossing it aside.

Richard and Melek rush to their friend and pull him up a set of steps that lead away from the scorpion's reach. By the time they reach the top, Orkan feels himself grow numb and drift into darkness. He hears the reassuring voice of Kika before he finally blacks out. Kika lands near Richard and orders him to lance the wound while she uses the remainder of her herbs and berries to treat the wound. Richard does what she asks, allowing some of the poison to drain from Orkan's leg. Kika applies the medicine to Orkan's wound and confidently says he'll be all right.

Melek suggests that they read the Book of Prophecies and consult the Path Finder. After reading the cryptic passage in the Book, Richard takes the Path Finder and turns it until its arrowhead glows gold pointing at a tall tower, most likely Cobra's Keep. Moments later, Orkan awakens, a little groggy but otherwise all right. With his friend okay, Richard begins to lead his friends toward the tower to get the pod.

The storm had renewed its intensity, forcing the group to slow their progress through the city. Their progress through the eerily deserted metropolis is at a snail's pace, but thankfully they don't run into any scorpions in the city streets. Eventually, the group arrives at a wide thoroughfare, just as deserted as ever. But as they companions enter the thoroughfare, they hear a familiar "tik-tik-tiking" from all sides heading in their direction. The group make an attempt to run, but a pack of scorpions emerge from all sides, surrounding the group and cutting off any escape.

Before Richard, Orkan, and Melek could make a move, Kika whips out her blowpipe and sends a stream of darts towards the scorpions. She tells her friends to aim for the eyes, the scorpions' weakspot. She sends another volley of darts in the scorpions' direction, this time aided by Orkan as he fires a steady stream of arrows at lightning speed. But the scorpions are too numerous and close in too quickly, making Kika's darts too risky. Orkan manages to empty his quiver before the scorpions close in, and he starts to face the creatures in close combat with his sword. Richard joins in, slashing at the monsters' eyes with Juroot's dagger.

The close-quarters combat proves to be an advantage for Richard and Orkan, as the scorpions move too clumsily to find an opening. Melek manages to dodge the scorpions' stingers while Kika helps whenever she can with her blowdarts. But then, just as Richard and Orkan slash their way through the blue-black ranks of the creatures, a scream for Kika is heard. The trio turn to see the Guardian has been captured by one of the scorpion's claws. Kika cries out for help as the scorpion malevolently tightens the grip on his pincers.

Characters:

The Scorpions are exactly what their name suggests: regular scorpions, only far larger, more intelligent, and deadlier. With the insect-like menace of Baal and the soldier-esque menace of Cozards, the Scorpions guard the metropolis of Sand City from intruders, using their powerful claws and vicious stingers as weapons. They have no designated leader, which makes them difficult to demoralize in the midst of battle.

"Richard peered at the creatures. They were like the scorpions he had seen in books, but larger, much larger. Their narrow, blue-black bodies curved back to fiercely barbed tail. Only their eyes were different, glowing a deep, murderous red inside shrouded sockets. Suddenly, the guards changed formation, moving aross the sand in a complicated manoeuvre. From where he stood, RIchard could hear the skittering tik-tik-tik of their claws on the ground. It was a cold, precise sound that struck a chill deep in his heart."

Comments:

If a giant spider and killer bees aren't enough insect enemies in the Ancestral World, the twelfth issue of The Ancestral Trail introduces giant scorpions to give folks with entomophobia more willie-nillies (and they will not be the last insect(s) to give the Chosen One a fit, believe me). Of course, what makes scorpions deadly are their poisonous stingers, but curiously these giant anthropods do not pose that as much of a threat as their appearance would indicate. Yes, one managed to pierce Orkan's thigh, and by the end of the issue Kika is in the grasp of one of the beasts, but Richard and his friends managed to hold their own against them for a while thanks to the beasts' clunky movements. Naturally, if the insects were as smart as, say, Baal, then Richard and friends would be screwed, wouldn't you say?

Aside from yet another agonizing cliffhanger (will or will not Kika escape from the tightening grip of the scorpion?), this issue adds little to the story other than move it along. The destination of the group, Cobra's Keep, is where the next pod lies, but the scorpions decided to delay their entrance into the keep for a little bit. Orkan's brush with the scorpion tail didn't seem to affect him that much after Kika healed him, which was a pity because it would've been interesting to see how Richard would've fared alone against those scorpions in the thoroughfare. What if Orkan had been too disoriented to fight and had to be protected by Melek and Kika? Oh, the possibilities...

Quotes:

"So, it is the Chosen One! Maybe the day hasn't been wasted ater all."

-Klaw

Richard: "I thought you'd run off and left us."
Kika: "I had to get to the mountains to find the potion I needed. There is a rare bush whose berries contain the only poison capable of killing Klaw. I smeared some over Orkan's arrow and came back as quickly as I could. I didn't even stop to tend my leg, but I did get what I needed for it."

"This is going to be worse than I thought. Keep your faces down and your mouths shut. Whatever you do, don't look straight into the wind. This stuff can scour your eyeballs in seconds."

-Kika

Kika: "Sand City."
Richard: "How come we didn't see the city before? Surely we'd have seen something this big, even with the sand storm."
Melek: "Maybe it's a mirage."
Kika: "No, what you saw before - all those ridges going off into the distance - was the mirage. Sand City has been here all the time. Good camouflage, isn't it?"

"Aim for the eyes! That their vulnerable spot."

-Kika

"Help!"

-Kika

And the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature goes to...

2006-03-06T01:41:00.000-05:00

Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

I've seen neither this film nor its two contenders in the category, Howl's Moving Castle and Corpse Bride. Therefore, I can make no comment.

My latest contribution to society is complete.

Puppets rule!

2006-02-01T02:16:00.000-05:00

There comes a time in our lives when we have to re-evaluate everything we believe, find what we hold the most dear, and grit our teeth as we embrace our new reality. Now is one of those times for me.

Ladies and gentlemen...I'm fascinated by a puppet show.

More specifically, a Taiwanese puppet show called as Pili. Also known as Thunderforce to some, Pili is apparently a phenomenally huge puppet show in Taiwan with over 900 episodes and counting. Of course, this is no ordinary puppet show - while the use of hand puppets is utilized, the show also uses things one would typically find in a big-budget Hollywood movie: sweeping musical scores, carefully planned camera angles, sharp editing and state-of-the-art special effects. Sure, the show is steeped heavily in Chinese and Taiwanese traditional history and culture (according to the lone English page I could find of this show), but it reminds me a lot of those thick Asian story epics that anime series are often based on.

Oh, and I'm not just fascinated just because I heard about this show - I've seen it, too. More specifically, someone is using Google Video to upload the openings and endings to the Pili series, as well as a couple clips. I'll admit, initially I was skeptical that a puppet show could be entertaining, but after watching some of those clips...holy crap! The highlights have to be the opening and ending(?) to Pili: Apocalypse, which are absolutely incredible in their music and imagery. And the fight scenes are so beautifully choreographed, especially for a puppet show.

Of course, perhaps nothing could top this clip. I want you to watch it first before doing anything else. I'll wait.

...

...you done?

You saw it, right?

Yep, you can't deny it.

Puppet sex!

This show actually has puppet sex! With a naked woman's knockers* and everything! I guess Taiwan beat Team America World Police to the punch, neh?

*If you understood that the word "knockers" is referring to the fact that the woman is made out of wood, being a puppet and all...congratulations, your sense of humor is just as bad as mine.

Of course, how did I know about this show in the first place? Simple. Some people may have already heard about it, they just don't know it. Yep, that's right. I'm talking about Wulin Warriors, the puppet show that Cartoon Network recently picked up for its Toonami block. When it was first announced, a lot of people (including me) questioned why CN would bring a puppet show to their network, since puppetry isn't exactly animation (hell, it isn't even stop-animation!). Of course, since then CN has shown several live-action films during prime time, films that, while supposedly maintaining the "spirit of animation", are still bloody live-action. So I guess a puppet show isn't exactly out of the norm, now is it? *sigh*

Unfortunately, it must be said that Wulin Warriors is not Pili. How so? The same way that 4Kids' version of One Piece isn't really One Piece. In other words, the show is being butchered to hell and back. Apparently, the folks who licensed the show, Broadway Video Enterprise and GoodTime Entertainment, decided to go back to the days of Carl Macek and hack things up to make the show more "appealing" to today's audiences. The result is, predictably, awful.

Don't believe me? Go to the official website and watch the pilot episode there. The first thing you notice is the atrocious rap opening. Yes, a goddamn rap opening! Of all the song genres to choose for a series based on ancient Chinese culture, they chose the worst genre imaginable! And the song sounds like it was sung in someone's garage by people who learned about rap culture from VH1 specials. Despite how bad the One Piece rap opening is, it has nothing on the Wulin Warriors' piece of tripe for an opening, and that's saying something.

The next thing you'll notice (after realizing that Scar is voiced by Seam Schemmel, a.k.a. Funimation's Goku from DBZ) is the terrible dialogue and flat voice-acting. The folks who adapted Pili into English obviously thought the original dialogue wasn't "hip" enough, so they added their own jokes. I mean..."pizza oracle"? What in God's name?

And the fighting...oh, the fighting itself seemed to make it through intact, and it looks fabulous...but the music! Holy crap, the music is grating. Once again, rap (or hip-hop, whatever) is used, and it fits about as well as a Relena Peacecraft poster fits on a yaoi fangirl's wall. After listening to the terrible hip-hop music during the Wulin Warriors fight scenes, then watching the fight scenes in the Pili:Apocalyse clips...there is no comparison. Sweeping orchestral sounds far better than annoying record scratches.

And it's such a pity. Practically everyone I've seen is blasting this show because 1) puppets don't belong on Cartoon Network; and 2) puppet shows are stupid, apparently. And the Wulin Warriors pilot episode on the official site hasn't helped matters in the least. If the licensors had been faithful to the original version of the show and given it a Naruto-type television dub (a.k.a. excellent), people probably would've been more open minded to give this show a chance. As it stands, people are calling for Wulin Warriors' immediate cancellation...and compared to Pili, I can't blame 'em.

Until next time, have a good one.

So, how's life going?

2006-01-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

My current and final semester here at OU is slightly under two weeks old, but already I'm enjoying it. Actually, I could've graduated last semester with no problem, but this semester is the one I'm using to get all of the credit I need to graduate with honors. As a consequence, I'm only taking eleven hours this Spring. Still, that doesn't mean those eleven hours aren't challenging. Good Lord, no. Allow me to explain...

First up is Beginning Japanese Continued. Last semester of Beginning Japanese was a blast, so I'm continuing it this semester. But I'm also using the class to get one the rest of the 18 required honors credits I need, so in addition to learning kanji this semester, I'm also doing a couple things extra in the class. Things like writing six paragraphs about myself in kanji and translating a short fairy tale from Japanese into English. Of course, it's not the extra honors stuff I'm worried about; it's the kanji itself. This week we learned that there are two different ways to read kanji: on-readings (Chinese) and kun-readings (Japanese). Of course, since the on-readings are from a foreign country, they're written in katakana. However, when kanji is used to form Japanese words, those same words are spelled out in hiragana. I swear, whoever came up with kanji wants to torture Japanese students, just like the idiots who created katakana. I mean...look at this:

ツシソン

Notice the similarities between the characters? The first character is tsu, the second is shi, the third is so, and the forth is n. Whoever decided to make these characters look almost exactly alike needs to be beaten with a sakana. And who came up with this brilliant idea:

カ力タ夕

Look too similar to be different, right? WRONG! The first character is ka in katakana, but the second is the kanji for ryoku (strength, power). The third is the katakana character ta, but the fourth is the kanji for yuu (evening). So yes, either the people who developed Japanese were masochists, or someone wasn't paying attention.

Moving on...

My second class this semester is an honors colloquium, entitled Aliens, Androids, Robots, & Cyborgs: The "Other" in Science Fiction. Yes, you read that right. Basically, this is a class where we read science-fiction books and watch science-fiction films, and then analyze them by looking at the "Other," usually aliens, in the stories. Do the "Other" represent some aspect of society that's looked down upon, such as women or minorities or homosexuals? Do actions in the stories regarding the "Other" reflect how society functions? Stuff like that. It's a very demanding class because of the amount of reading given, and some of it's not simply sci-fi stories. Some of the reading is actually articles - for example, did you know one man made a living studying Trekkies and fandom in general? Truly bizarre stuff. As an aside, I'll never look at the movie Galaxy Quest again after trying to figure out the "Other" in that film...

Finally, my last class is an Honors Research slot with one of the Aerospace Engineering professors. As you can imagine, this one is proving to be the more challenging class I have this semester. The topic I'm working on? The jointed wing and how to optimize studying its aerodynamic properties. At the moment I've been asked to read several articles on studying the jointed wing and provide brief summaries of these articles, and these things are incredibly technical in their detail. Still, it's very fascinating and I'm certainly learning something from this experience.

And that's my final academic semester at OU in a nutshell. Only three classes this semester, but certainly ones that will keep me busy for a while. But I know I can cope. After all, I survived Harold Stalford's "Solid Mechanics" class and walked away with a B, which apparently is a minor miracle...

In news related more to recreation, yesterday I was bored and decided to go to the local Borders and purchase the first volume of several manga series I've never read before. After a while, I walked away with the first volumes of four series: Hellsing, One Piece, Death Note, and Bleach.

So far, I've only read the Hellsing volume, but I'm glad I picked that series up. I had only seen the 13-episode anime before, and when I first saw the manga I was put off by its rough artwork. But after realizing rough artwork didn't stop me from reading Trigun, I gave it a shot. Surprisingly, the manga is a bit more lighthearted than the anime, though it's still very macabre and incredibly bloody throughout. It also moves at a much faster pace than the anime, though it still tells a solid story. It makes me wish Geneon would release the new Hellsing OVA series here in the States soon.

As for the others, I picked up One Piece because I finally caved in after months of sitting on the fence. The anime is exceptionally fun and entertaining (the Japanese version, not the atrocious 4Kids version), and the manga looks like it has the same feeling. Bleach I picked up because people have been talking about this series for a while. Interestingly enough, what I hear quite a bit concerning Bleach is that, despite being a Shounen Jump series, it doesn't have as much fighting as, say, Naruto or DBZ. That might actually be a plus for me. And as for Death Note, it looks like a surreal psychological story that reminds me a bit of Naoki Urasawa's Monster, so I thought, "Eh, why not?".

Finally, while I think that ytmnd.com is one of those sites that extends a one-note joke for far too long, this page (created as a reaction to the current war between Ebaum's World and...well, everyone else) had me in stitches for five whole minutes.

Until next time, have a good one.

And now for something completely useless...

2006-01-16T02:43:00.000-05:00

I love Winamp.

I don't care what the Mac-faithful say about iTunes, and I don't care that I own an iPod. When I want to listen to music on my computer, I use Winamp. Why? 1) Winamp 5 gives me everything I need in a music player without useless crap that takes up too much space and memory; and 2) I've yet to find another music player that has the Jump function. What is the Jump function, you ask? Only the best function ever fitted onto a music player! To jump to a song in your playlist, you only have to press "j", type in the song, and press enter. Sure, other music players have search bars, but after searching you have to erase what you wrote in the search bar in the first place. For someone as anal as I am, I don't like that. So there.

In any case, Winamp has been my favorite player ever since version 2 (version 3 was shit, partially because it was bloated, partially because they got rid of the Jump function), and Winamp 5 is almost constantly playing something on my computer while I surf the internet or write (listening to Garnet Crow as I type this). However, for the longest time, Winamp had one minor shortcoming: it cannot read unicode. For the unitiated, unicode is an encoding scheme that allows complex characters from non-English languages to be encoded into a single character set. In other words, unicode is what allows Japanese-lovers like myself to read actual Japanese characters instead of the characters you get when you use the Shift key on the 0-9 keys on your keyboard.

So anyway, the creators of Winamp for some reason chose not to encorporate unicode into its design. Basically, this meant that any songs I played in Winamp that used Japanese characters in its ID tags would instead display undecipherable gibberish in the playlist bar. For example, something like this:

ﾐﾑ・ｪﾎﾏﾖｪﾈﾙ･・ｪ筱ﾄ

would instead come out like this:

$#**@@#))!!!#$#%$

Sure, it's a minor annoyance, but damned if I didn't want to see actual Japanese characters in my playlist bar! And yes, iTunes and other players incorporate unicode and display Japanese characters just fine, but I wasn't about to give up Winamp for something this insignificant. Still, if there was a way for me to fix this, I would've been very grateful.

Thank God for this guy.

Basically, this guy releases patches for each Winamp release that translates Winamp into Japanese. More importantly (for me), the patches incorporate Japanese unicode into the player. It took me while (and Google's beta Japanese translator) to figure out what to do, and applying the path onto Winamp took a while because of things that had to do with DOS and Window 95 or something. But, in the end, after the patch had been applied, I had myself a fully working copy of Winamp in Japanese. And, just as I wanted, the playlist bar now showed the titles in Japanese whenever Japanese characters were present.

Of course, I had to tinker around with the preferences a little bit so that only the playlist bar was in Japanese when need be - thankfully, the guy who created these patches gave two options in the languages option: a completely Japanese Winamp, or an English Winamp that still could show Japanese characters in the playlist bar. And yes, the complete English version with the ability to screw up Japanese characters still existed.

...yeah, that's it.

In other news, classes start on Tuesday. I'm taking an honors colloquium where I get to read science-fiction books (seriously!) and a continuation of Beginning Japanese, not to mention an honors research project. This semester is gonna rule.

Until next time, have a good one.

The Ancestral Trail #11: Klaw, Servant of Evil

2006-01-09T19:22:00.000-05:00

Battling the Army of Bonemen

Story:

On the Eleventh Day...

Ties that bind release the one
In deepest darkest thrown.
The shortest length can longer run
By faith and faith alone.
In desert lands beneath the sun
Power of steel and weight of stone
Defy. But when the day is done
Mountain berries split the bone.

With the cave crumbling all around them, Richard calls for his friends to jump across a widening chasm in the floor. Orkan and Melek leap across the gap just before the ground where they were crumbles. Urging his friends to follow him, Richard leads his companions to the other side of the cavern, where they begin scaling the crystal outcrops to a narrow hole in the wall. After a while, they emerge from the tunnel into a cave bigger than Zibella's.

In the middle of the enormous cavern stood a huge mound, and Orkan suggests climbing the hill to get a strategic strongpoint. The trio climb the hill and find a deep hole at the peak. They curiously peer down into the bottomless pit when suddenly they hear an eerie wail coming from inside. They prepare to run, but they hear an unmistakable cry for help when the wail calls out once more.

Richard asks the person down the shaft how far the bottom is, but the person cannot tell and repeats the cry for help. Richard notes metal spikes outlining the inner sides of the tunnel, obviously a deterrant to stop the victim from climbing out. He believes that the spikes can take some weight of someone lowered down the shaft by rope, but it all depends on how deep the shaft is. Stumped, the trio consult the Book of Prophecies.

After reading the day's riddle, Richard surmises that if they have enough faith, the rope should be long enough to reach the shaft's bottom. Orkan states that Melek should be lowered since he is the smallest, and the dwarf reluctantly agrees. With Richard and Orkan holding one end of the rope, Melek scrambles into the tunnel. As he climbs down, he wonders if the rope is long enough, but then remembers this idea depends on "faith and faith alone" and removes all doubt from his mind.

After a few seconds, Melek realizes the plan is working, as it becomes clear that the rope is stretching beyond its original length. Feeling more confident, Melek carefully climbs down the spikes towards the bottom, where he firsts adjusts his eyes to the dim light before looking for the person he had come to rescue. On the floor of the shaft he finds a wasp-like creature with a terrible wound in her leg.

Melek asks the insect creature to hold onto him as he climbs up, and the wasp does so. She is surprisingly quite light, but even so Melek finds the journey back up the shaft tedious and painful as he has to rest several times while avoiding the deadly spikes. Eventually, after a long climb, he manages to bring the wasp lady out of the pit and at the top of the hill, where Richard and Orkan are waiting for them.

The wasp immediately thanks the trio for saving her and introduces herself as Kika, Guardian of Insects. She reveals that she had been captured by Klaw, the Evil One's servant, and he had taken her weapons before throwing her in that hellish pit to die. Melek asks why she couldn't fly out; Kika unfurls her flimsy wings and points out the spikes that could've torn them to pieces.

Kika then asks the three who they are, and Richard reveals he is the Chosen One and explains his adventures and quest. Kika offers her assistance and says that a Lifeforce Pod is located in Sand City, but Klaw will try to stop them from reaching it. She then unties a narrow belt from around her waist and gives it to Richard, stating its magical powers will help him when he needs it most.

Upon putting on the belt, Richard feels a surge of strength throughout his body. With the knowledge of a pod located in Sand City, he says that that shall be their new destination. When Melek points out Kika's bad leg wound, Richard hoists the weak Guardian onto his back and carries her. After making their way down the mound, Kika directs the trio through a series of winding tunnels until they finally emerge into the open. They finds themselves on the outskirts of an enormous desert, and in the distance they can see the outline of a city against the horizon.

With their destination in sight, the four begin their trek across the desert. The ground is firm beneath their feet, but the waving ridges practically double the distance they need to travel. As they travel, Richard realizes how dangerous the situation is: the ridges can easily hide an army, one they wouldn't see until they they walk right into it. He is about to say something to Orkan when a loud laugh echoes across the desert.

Looking up, Richard's heart sinks when he sees an evil-looking skeleton man standing at the top of the ridge. Realizing that this creature has to be Klaw, Orkan orders his friends to get out of the gully and run.

Klaw laughs at the four's attempt to escape. From his hand he throws out several small chunks of bones across the desert. From where the bones land, a forest of skeleton warriors emerge, each brandishing a menacing bone sword and a shield in the shape of a twisted skull. Klaw orders his children to pursue the Chosen One and his friends, and the newly created bone army begins marching down the hill into the gully.

Orkan quickly orders his friends to go back up the hill, but as they do Klaw throws more of his tiny bones over the group's head. The bones sprout more bonemen, cutting off the top of the ridge as an escape route. The group tries to use the lining of the gully to escape, but the bonemen are a step ahead of them. Already both groups of bonemen have cut off any possible escape, and it's only a matter of time before the four are surrounded by Klaw's minions.

One boneman lunges at Richard with its sword; Richard whips out Juroot's dagger and drives its blade into the soldier's skull. The boneman surprisingly collapses into an untidy heap, defeated. Richard realizes the bonemen are not that strong and he and his friends might have a chance in escaping. Surrounding Kika, Richard and his friends begin to battle any and all advancing bonemen as they try to make their way across the gully. But for each soldier destroyed, Klaw throws out more bones to create more soldiers.

Eventually Richard, Orkan, and Melek begin to tire enough that the bonemen begin reaching their weary targets. Each fighter has bruises that hampered their fighting, and it is only a matter of time before the bone army kills them where they stand. Amidst the fighting, Kika asks Orkan for his bow and an arrow. Orkan remarks that they're useless at this range, but Kika uses her Guardian authority to insist. Orkan allows the wasp to take his weapons.

With the bow and an arrow in hand, Kika spreads her wings and flaps them furiously, mustering enough strength to hover a little over the battlefield. Klaw sees the Guardian and, determined not to see her escape, pushes aside his minions as easily as if they were paper and aims his spear at the Guardian. Kika, seeing her nemesis approach her, finds the strength to soar higher into the air, dodging Klaw's spear by a hair's breath. Kika then flys off at frightening speed, disappearing in the direction of a distance forest.

Orkan cries out that Kika has abandoned them to save herself. Even Richard is stunned, unable to believe that such a seemingly sincere person as Kika, a Guardian, would leave them here to die. Klaw, meanwhile, takes this opportunity to enter the fight. With the trio still gaping in disbelief, Klaw knocks Orkan's sword from his hand and quickly disarms Richard and Melek with ease. He snarls that while he lost the Guardian, he won't make the same mistake with them.

Characters:

Kika is the Guardian of Insects and the Keeper of Goodness. What she lacks in physical strength she more than makes up for in agility and smarts. As a giant wasp-like creature, Kika uses her powerful wings to soar to safe distances, where she can take down enemies with her favorite weapons, a blowpipe and darts. She was captured by Klaw, the Evil One's servant, and thrown in a hellish spike-coated pit to die of starvation, but she was saved by Richard and his friends. However, when confronted by Klaw and his bone army, Kika surprisingly flies away from the battle with Orkan's bow. Has she succumbed to the influence of the Evil One...?

Klaw is a sinister figure in service to the Evil One. As a skeleton man, Klaw's very appearance gives off an evil aura that intimidates all who face him. By himself, Klaw is more than able to hold his own in a fight thanks to his brute strength and sturdy bone spear. But Klaw possesses a more horrific ability: to call forth an army of bone warriors simply by throwing tiny bones upon the ground. While these bonemen are weak, their great numbers is more than enough to take down an enemy.

"Richard looked up at the ridge and saw a sight that sent his heart into his boots. Silhouetted against the sky was a figure wrapped in a torn black shroud. From his horned helmet and his skull-like face to his skeletal feet, there was not one scrap of flesh to be seen. All of the creature, even the spear that he brandished aggressively in the air, looked as if it was made of bone. It could only be Klaw."

Comments:

After surviving the insane and dimwitted Zibella in the previous issue, the eleventh issue of The Ancestral Trail provides a more formidable challenge in the form of Klaw. Along with Ball the Giant Spider, Klaw is perhaps one of the most frightening creatures Richard has faced in the Ancestral World. After all, a walking skeleton, especially one that looks like it's about to devour your flesh, is a universal image of terror. All it needs is rotting flesh and it can be labeled a zombie. While most of Klaw's fighting is done using easily destroyable minions, Klaw is more than capable of fighting himself, and the cliffhanging ending where Klaw looks to be victorious over his prey is one of the more gripping in the series thus far.

The series also provides us with another Guardian, this one in the form of Kika. After introducing Juroot way back in issue four, it was only a matter of time before another Guardian was introduced. What makes Kika's scenes interesting is that she apparently betrays Richard and his friends by leaving them in Klaw's grasp to save her own skin. Most people will most likely deny this, saying she must be up to something, but a reader can't shake the the doubt that maybe, just maybe, this series will surprise us. Will Kika redeem herself in the second issue, or has she truly been tainted by the influence of the Evil One in the Ancestral World?

Quotes:

Richard: "It seems we should use the rope and have faith that it will be long enough."
Orkan: "Melek's the smallest, he'll have a better chance of getting through the spikes."
Melek: "All right, but you two had better hold on tight."

Kika: "Oh, thank you. I am Kika, the Guardian of Insects. I was trapped by Klaw, the Evil One's servant. He stole my weapons and threw me into that dreadful pit to die."
Melek: "Couldn't you have flown out?"
Kika: "Remember the spikes? You can't fly very far if your wings are in ribbons."

"That's right, run! See where it gets you!"

-Klaw

"We might have a chance! They're not as strong as they look. We might be able to fight our way out of here."

-Richard

"She tricked us! She's escaping and leaving us here!"

-Orkan

"I might have lost the Guardian, but I won't lose you."

-Klaw

Merry Christmas, y'all

2005-12-26T00:03:00.000-05:00

Ah, Christmas. Such a joyous time of year. Sure, it's become a battleground for insane political correctness and religious idiocy recently, but in the end it's still Christmas, that joyous time of year dedicated to Santa Claus and how he died for our sins upon the cross. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself:

And it must be true! I read it on the internet!

Okay, let's be serious here now...at least as serious as I can possibly be. A lot of shit - from good shit to I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me shit - has happened in the past year to me and everyone who draws breath on this Earth, but no matter how bad things get, we always have something to be thankful for. And with Christmas representing new hope and a fresh start underneath all that glittering commercialism, one can probably fine no better time to let the world know what he is thankful for.

Without further ado, what I'm thankful for this year is...

...that Judge Jones, the judge presiding over the Kitzmiller vs. DASD case in Dover concerning the constitutionality of Intelligent Design, was smart enough to recognize ID's scientific vacuity and completely demolish ID's pathetic anti-evolutioin arguments in a brilliantly written 139-page document. Judge Jones missed nothing in his scathiing review of ID's so-called science, and backed up all of his arguments with well-written statements and facts that can only be denied by intentional ignorance. IDers and the Religious Right were quick to condemn Judge Jones as an "activist judge", but they failed to realize the judge is a church-going conservative appointed by ID-sympathetic Dubya himself, throwing that argument out the window.

With the way America seemed to head down the toilet in terms of scientific credibility recently, Judge Jones' excellent ruling against ID gives me some hope that perhaps this country can be saved.

...that I passed a class I came very close to failing.

A little backstory: I am currently in my fifth year as an Engineering Physics student, and only a few classes remain next semester before I finally get to graduate. To graduate with an engineering degree, a student must get a C or above in each class, or else he has to retake any class where he gets a D or below. This semester, I enrolled in a class that was only available during the fall semester, and this class was taught by a professor who was notoriously difficult. Not many students liked him or his teaching methods, and for good reason: many have taken his class two or three times thanks to his strict grading methods (no partial credit or curves) and unforgiving distribution of grades (daily quizzes worth close to half your grade).

Not surprisingly, by the middle of the semester, I was failing his class with a D. I knew I had to get my grade up to at least a C or I would have to return to retake this class in a year's time, which would ruin my plans to graduate this spring semester. So I worked my ass off trying to raise my grade, but by the end of the semester I still needed to ace the final in order to get a passing grade. And when I took the final, it felt like an exercise in futility. I walked out of that final fully expecting to make a D. All I could do was pray for a C, just a measly C.

Grades came out two days before Christmas Day. And I made a B. Yes, a B. Suffice to say, I nearly wet myself. I don't know how I pulled that off, but I didn't care. I passed the class, made a better grade than I thought I made, and am still on track to graduate this spring. Life is good.

...that I got one of these babies for Christmas:

Yep, a video iPod with 30GB of spacy goodness to fill up with as many songs as I damn-well please. Still don't know why anyone would want to use their iPod for watching videos or *blink* looking at pictures...but hey, different strokes for different people.

...that I have plenty of free time between now and the end of Christmas break. Seriously, aside from working shifts at Papa John's for some extra moolah, I should have enough time to do whatever the hell I want that I couldn't do during the last few agonizing months of classes. That means more time to do some writing for my stories and Dub Review, update my Ancestral Trail blog, and play my newly obtained copies of Resident Evil 4 and God of War for the PS2.

...that I'm alive, my family's alive, most everyone I know is alive, and people who just in general kick ass are alive. It's good to be alive.

Until next time, have a good one.

Things I discovered recently...

2005-12-14T21:32:00.000-05:00

1) Someone screwed with Zone Alarm.

Way, way back when my personal laptop computer was still a Compaq with a then-amazing 20GB hard drive, I was in the midst of a freeware conversion phase. You know, the usual suspects: Firefox instead of Internet Explorer, OpenOffice instead of Microsoft Office, AVG anti-virus instead of McAfee, etc. Another change I made was switching from McAfee's expired-into-a-worthless-free-version firewall software to Zone Alarm, a firewall that took an active interest in my security by directly asking me about the programs that attempted to access the internet. For the rest of the time I used that now palm sweat-soaked notebook, Zone Alarm served me well.

That was almost two years ago. Now I have a Dell, and for the past year and a half I was slow in converting from McAfee to AVG and Zone Alarm again because the McAfee version I got was in its trial period. Well, the trial period expires a couple months ago, so I decided, hey, let's get that free software that works just as well, if not better than the version that's asking me to pay for an update.

As it turns out, something happened between those two years to Zone Alarm, because the newest version I downloaded completely screwed up my computer. Okay, maybe not my computer, but certainly my internet connection. Everything was fine before I made the switch from McAfee to Zone Alarm, but after downloading ZA my internet connection went on the fritz. One minute it would be working just fine, and then the next I couldn't load up web pages or download my email into Thunderbird. And yet ZA's software charts clearly indicated that connections were being received. Plus, the only way to restore my full internet connection was to reboot, something I only do after installing programs that integrate heavily with my hard drive.

So Zone Alarm now has a glitch, and a very annoying one. So, what did I do? Why, look for some new firewall software, of course, and I found the perfect replacement: Kerio. Several websites rated the free version of Kerio as better than Zone Alarms, and the only reason why some people still put ZA ahead of Kerio in recommendations was because Kerio had been discontinued (though a new company has picked up the software). Intriguied, I downloaded Kerio and gave it a spin...and I absolutely love it. Granted, it's currently in a 30-day trial period and will get rid of some features once that period is done, but judging by the comparison charts I've seen the pay version offers stuff I either don't need or is available on other software.

If I had one complaint, it may be that Kerio is overzealous in asking what programs get internet access, but that's the price for protection in a web filled with phishers, virus writers, and hackers. Just the other day, Kerio continuously asked me if I would allow a remote computer to access Microsoft File and Printer Sharing program, which could've either been a harmless pinging of signals or something more malicious. Also, Kerio doesn't shut down my internet access like Zone Alarm did, which is...er, good, I guess.

Pity ZA lost me as a customer, because they were pretty damn good when I last used them. Hopefully they can fix whatever bugs are plaguing them befoe more people switch to other firewalls.

2) Terry Goodkind is a terrible writer.

In the realm of fantasy authors, I've read quite a few good books by some decent authors: J.R.R. Tolkien, Terry Brooks, Robert Jordan, David Brin just to name a few. Another author I read several years ago quite heavily was Terry Goodkind, author of the popular Sword of Truth series. His tomes were thick (though not as thick as Jordan's admittedly bloated Wheel of Time books), and he had some interesting ideas that intrigued me when I first read him. Of course, compared to Jordan, Tolkien, and even Brooks, Goodkind's prose was simplistic and less descriptive than I was used to, but the story was enough to hook me in and keep me reading...

...for a while.

The first three books were interesting reads, and despite a feeling gnawing in my brain I enjoyed them quite a bit. It was around the fourth book, Temple of the Winds, that I started noticing Goodkind's immature love of sex and how he loves to incorperate it at almost every opportunity. But it was the fifth book, Soul of the Fire, that I finally recognized what that gnawing feeling was: Goodkind's writing was utterly terrible.

Soul ramped up the sex factor ten fold, and every time something sexual appeared I rolled my eyes as I would to a teenager making stupid, tasteless jokes while reading a Playboy magazine. And it was here that I truly noticed how bad Goodkind's storytelling abilities were: the ending to Soul was perhaps the single worst ending I've ever read to a book in a serialized series, with a rushed feeling to it that was hammered by horrendous dialogue that not even a two-year old would say. Not to mention the climax was anything but, and the characters were exposed as the bland caricatures they really were.

Want an example? You were warned:

"So, Lord Rahl, how far to home?"
He thought it over a few minutes. "I guess Kahlan is my family, so that makes it home wherever we are. As long as I'm with Kahlan, I'm home.
"Cara, it's over. You can go home now. I release you."
She stopped. Richard walked on.
"But I don't have a family. They are all dead."
He looked back at her, standing in the road, looking as forlorn as anything he had ever seen.
Richard went back, put an arm around her shoulders, and started walking with her.
"We're your family, Cara. Kahlan and me. We love you. So I guess you should come home with us."
That seemed to suit her.
"Will there be people at this home place who need killing?"
Richard smiled. "I don't think so."
"Then why would we want to go there?"
When he only smiled, she said, "I thought you wanted to take over the world. I was looking forward to you being a tyrant. I say you should do it. The Mother Confessor would agree with me. That makes it two against one. We win."

And yes, I copied that verbatim from the book.

Amazed at how poor Soul was, I recently went back and reread some of the earlier books in Sword of Truth. And Goodkind's bland writing, insipid dialogue, and inane plots were crystal clear. I almost couldn't believe I didn't notice this upon my first reading, like when I first read R.A. Salvatore's banal The Highwayman. At best, this discovery prevented me from shelling out money for Goodkind's next four books, which I won't touch if they're anywhere near as bad as the first five are.

3) The Ancestral Trail is about to make a comeback.

If you've been around my blog's links at all, you may have noticed the link to my other little blog, dedicated to a personal favorite serialized story from yesteryear, The Ancestral Trail. I originally started this blog because I loved the series so much and I was disappointed by the lack of material on the web concerning it. Apparently, my efforts thus far haven't gone unnoticed, as folks who love the books as much as I have are starting to get organized, even forming a Yahoo! Group.

However, that was nothing compared to the bombshell that struck earlier last month: Frank Graves, the man who penned the very story in the fifty-two books in the series, actually wrote to me after reading my blog. He apparently loved what I was doing, which made me feel proud, of course. But the bombshell? The Ancestral Trail has a good chance of being re-released next year (most likely in the UK, I'll wager), followed by a possible second series tentatively entitled Long Ago and Far Away. What's more, Mr. Graves is apparently in talks to have the series made into a film!

Naturally, this is quite a shocker. I only started my blog over half a year ago, and already I see results coming my way. First AT fans start getting together, then Frank Graves himself contacts me, and now there's talk of a series revival and even a possible movie. It's almost too much to take in at once.

Of course, as much as I would love to play the optimist, my growing lack of faith in humanity forces me to look at this objectively. From what I've seen, the relaunch of the series looks the most plausible, since books like this are easier to produce. And with the Harry Potter phenomenon these days, the publishere can use the market to its advantage and help spread the word about this series.

The film, on the other hand, might be a tough sell. It lacks a big name like other big heavyweights in fantasy such as J.K. Rowling or J.R.R. Tolkien, and fantasy is a tough genre in the film business without a big name attached to it (the appalling Dungeons and Dragons film is testament to that). Even under better circumstances, films are a dime-a-dozen in Hollywood, and just discussing a film doesn't mean it'll get made (witness the limbo where films such as the live-action DBZ and Neon Genesis Evangelion movies now reside). Also, we have to consider the source material. The Ancestral Trail is a mini-epic that takes place over fifty-two short volumes (twenty-six if you don't count the Cyber Dimension). To fit all of the story into a single movie could end up making the film feel disjointed and uneven - if one were to put AT to celluloid, I would suggest a TV series (possibly an easier sell, especially to maybe the Sci-Fi Channel), or a series of movies like Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings, which is even more daunting.

Still, I can't but wish the best of luck to Mr. Graves, not only in getting the relaunch off the ground but in his talks with the "movie boys". If or when the re-release comes out, I'll be sure to check it out, especially the aforementioned follow-up series.

4) Megatokyo is not funny.

Seriously, it's gone from mildly entertaining gamers-in-Japan comic to convoluted angst-drama that makes no freakin' sense anymore.

Thank God for the Perry Bible Fellowship.

Well, that's all for now. Until next time, have a good one.

Quick and dirty...

2005-12-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick post I made while in the midst of studying for my finals next week.

Anyway, while browsing the pseudo-blog semi-news site Fark.com, I came across a Photoshop thread in which a Farker wanted the folks of Fark to photoshop a picture of his band. The Photoshop contests can often be amusing, but this one caught my eye thanks to the poster above the right-most member's head. While it's pretty dark to see, the poster clearly has the word "Gundam" written underneath.

A flash of inspiration hit, and I decided to enter this Photoshop contest myself. So, I made what's called a "quick and dirty" photoshop (a.k.a. pulled one out of my ass) and decided to submit it. However, I needed to register to post on Fark, and the registration page said that I could only post 24 hours after registering. And by that time, the thread will be long buried and rarely seen. Damn...

Ah, well. That's what this blog is for. So, ladies and gentlemen, here's my photoshop for this guy's band. The Farker wanted the PS Farkers to give his band a new image, and I thought, "Well, how about watching anime series that cater to the fangirls?" So here we go:

Bad? You bet. Worth it? Totally...hey, at least I didn't photoshop the word "master" above that cymbal symbol there...

Until next time, have a good one.

Guess who's not above the cabinet!

2005-11-03T15:44:00.000-05:00

This is a joke that only people who've taken a Japanese class (hello, Zosocrowe-san) can understand, but I'm gonna write about it because I feel like it. So nyah!

First, the setup:

In Chapter 3 of my Japanese textbook, Nakama, we learned the Japanese names of several household items (chair, bed, closet, etc.), as well as how to describe the location of those items in relation to other items. Pretty basic stuff, really. For example, the chapter teaches you how to say something like:

The window is next to the bookcase.

Translated into Japanese, this sentence reads:

ほんだな　の　よこ　に　まど　が　あります。

Hondana no yoko ni mado ga arimasu.

Here, hondana (bookcase) is the "description noun", yoko (adjacent to [dissimilar objects]) is the "location noun", and mado (window) is the "subject". The word arimasu/imasu is a verb loosely meaning "to be/to exist" (inanimate ojects/living things), and no, ni, and ga are particles that I'm not even going to get into here. This basic sentence structure basically boils down to this formula:

[Description Noun] no [Location Noun] ni [Subject] ga arimasu.

With this sentence structure hammered into our collective minds by Tatsusawa-sensei, my Japanese class and I proceeded to learn how to describe various objects in a room using different location nouns relative to various objects. In one lesson, sensei asked someone to describe the location of a stereo on top of a cabinet. The reply:

とだな　の　うえ　に　ステレオ　が　あります。

Todana no ue ni sutereo ga arimasu.

The stereo is on the cabinet.

Pretty simple, ne? Tatsusawa-sensei then asked someone to say what wasn't on the cabinet. With a simple modification of arimasu for negative meaning, someone replied,

とだな　の　うえ　に　テレビ　が　ありません。

Todana no ue ni terebi ga arimasen.

The television is not on the cabinet.

This sentence was made at the end of class, so we were dismissed for the day. Just as we were, however, one of my friends thought up perhaps the best comment you can make with the negative form of that sentence structure:

とだな　の　うえ　に　ヘーススさｎ　が　いません。

Todana no ue ni Jesus-san ga imasen.

Jesus-san is not above the cabinet.

This had me in stitches when I heard it, and everyone else he told it to laughed their collective asses off. What a pity he didn't have the opportunity to say this in class, I'm sure Tatsusawa-sensei would've been amused. It also brings up the interesting debate: is Jesus alive or dead, so would you use arimasu or imasu? Hmmm...

I also came up with my own amusing play on this sentence structure:

まど　の　そと　に　ゴジラさん　が　いません。

Mado no soto ni Gojira-san ga imasen.

Gozilla-san is not outside the window.

Of course, it was lame compared to "Jesus-san is not above the cabinet", which will forever remain unknown to everyone except to a couple engineering students taking Beginning Japanese and anyone reading this blog who actually knows how to read hiragana.

Until next time, have a good one.

Holy fucking shit! What the hell happened to CN?

2005-11-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

I don't believe it. At first I thought it was a joke when I read the announcement on ANN, but subsequent linking to Toonami Infolink and then to Toon Zone confirmed it. Ladies and gentlemen, something has happened that even has all-around nice guy and CN apologist William C. Maune confused.

Cartoon Network is airing live-action movies!

This is far beyond Wulin Warriors, a Taiwanese, CGI-incorporating puppet show that was in a very debatable gray area of whether or not it qualified as animation. This goes far beyond Saul and the Mole People, an Adult Swim original that was seemingly going to be a mixture of live-action and animation. Cartoon Network can't describe this away, no fucking way, because they will air the following live-action movies:

- Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
- Small Soldiers
- The Goonies
- Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

...

Ho...ly...shit!

Okay, I can see maybe airing Roger Rabbit, since it's a classic film with perhaps the best blend of live-action and animation I've ever seen (suck it, Cool World). But Small Soldiers, that horrible toy film with the logic of a butter scone and the acting quality of a local car dealership commercial? Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, the admittedly entertaining film that spawned two mediocre sequels and a painful television series? And The Goonies...maybe it's a classic to some people, but its over-the-top silliness is still nowhere near what qualifies as animation.

EDIT: Originally, I thought CN would be showing Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves, the second sequel that looks as bad as the direct-to-video commercial I saw all those years ago.

This just baffles me. Cartoon Network has been one of my favorite networks for years. It was the network that introduced me to anime, and has been one of my constant sources for quality amusement (thanks, Adult Swim). Cartoon Network was one of those channels that I thought could never "pull an MTV", where a channel airs content that in no way matches what the network is supposed to air...like the Sci-Fi Channel airing Braveheart, or AMC airing films that are nowhere close to being American movie classics, or (yep) MTV airing thousands of reality shows with no music. All CN had to do was air cartoons - cartoons! - and the network wouldn't jump the proverbial shark. Sure, limited to animation is something that prevents them from really competing with kid network powerhouse Nickelodeon, but as long as CN could churn out quality series like they usually do (though Camp Lazlo is a good argument against this notion), things would be all right.

Not anymore, it seems.

It seems that whoever's running Cartoon Network right now has really decided to fuck up everything the network stood for. Getting rid of classic cartoons to make room for endless reruns of contemporary series pissed off a lot of people, but this move is sure to piss off even those who don't really care about the Hanna Barbera era shows.

I love animation. I'm not a learned scholar of the genre like many people are, but I still appreciate animation for what it is and what it can do, which is bring to life aspects of imagination and creativity that live-action can only dream about. To have an entire channel dedicated to this wonderful medium, even if it was controlled by a single company (Time Warner), was a nice thing to have. But with this move, CN seems to be heading in a direction I don't like at all: airing whatever the hell they feel like, as long as it brings in ratings.

I'm still waiting for the press release announcing that this is just one big, cruel joke...or maybe a press release announcing the backlash that ends up canceling this idiotic stunt. But a sinking feeling in my stomach tells me that this is no joke, and this will not be stopped except by the Second Coming.

I am very disappointed in this. Very, very disappointed...no, pissed. Royally pissed. While I still love much of what CN airs, this direction they are heading in just pisses me off to no end. I do not want CN to become a dumping ground of mediocre family films (live-action and animation) just so they can compete with Nick.

What happened? What in the holy hell happened?

Goddamn it...

G4TV...why?

2005-10-04T17:10:00.001-04:00

Just when I thought G4TV couldn't get any more ridiculous and provoke my utter disbelief even more rabidly, they've done it again.

By now, I'm sure most people will agree that G4TV is crap. After taking a great channel like TechTV, absorbing it into a mediocre hybrid called G4TechTV, and purging most of the original TechTV shows save for X-Play and Anime Unleashed, they returned to a primarily games channel called G4TV, which *gasp* sucked just as hard as when the channel was still called G4. Apparently, no one wants a channel devoted almost entirely to videogames, especially when the shows are horribly bland and the hosts are either vapid morons attempting to sound hip or slender MTV-esque chicks who all dress the same and sound the same (even my mom, who doesn't play videogames, noticed this).

So what does G4TV do now? Why, add to the suckiness, of course.

Over the course of the last three months, I've seen them make moves that were questionable at best. First came Barbed Wire Biscuit, a late night block that would air some of the more "edgy" shows on the block. The shows included Braniac (a Jackass-type show with science experiments), Happy Tree Friends (a webcartoon), Cimenatech: Nocturnal Emissions (where they can show the more raunchy videogame clips that can't be shown during the daytime) and Anime Unleashed. Needless to say, this block looks thrown together and poorly managed, especially when you consider that an anime show show like RahXephon is playing in the same television block as pornographic video game clips and cuddly animals that disembowel themselves in creative ways.

But that was only the tip of the iceberg. I learned later on that G4TV picked up the rights to Fastlane, a cancelled cop drama that's more in tune with the Fast and the Furious than Law and Order. How does this show appeal to gamers? I have no bloody clue, but G4TV apparently thought it would be nice to add it to their lineup. Maybe EA, creators of the Need for Speed series, paid them or something...

However, nothing compares to this: on October 10th, G4TV will be airing the original episodes of The Man Show. Yes, you read that right. The Man Show. The original episodes with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla. There's no denying it. They even have a friggin' website already!

This seems to demonstrate that G4TV is becoming the new MTV: focusing on glamor and image and sex and potty humor rather than shows with any actual content. Of course, with the vapid female show hosts, the emphasis on sexuality in many of their shows, and airing a series like Fastlane, maybe this isn't that surprising. After all, didn't G4TV constantly air those horrible Girls Gone Wild commercials starring one of the newer hosts of The Man Show before the show was cancelled by Comedy Central?

Good job, G4TV. You've sunk even lower than I thought you could sink. What next? How about reruns of The Real World? Or maybe you can air what Fox refused to air, the deplorable Who's Your Daddy?. Or hell, since you've got Adam Corolla in a cancelled show already, why not get the rights to Late Night With Adam Corolla, since that show looks to be cancelled soon, anyway?

That's all for now. Until next time, have a good one.

Oklahoma Bombing 2005

2005-10-04T00:15:00.000-04:00

I've been paying very little attention to this blog over the past several months, and every attempt I've made to return to updating it more frequently has fallen by the wayside. This can probably be attributed to the fact that I don't like writing blog entries about my personal life because 1) my life is not that interesting to begin with; and 2) I don't want my blog to (de)evolve into...*ahem*. Still, I'd like to keep this blog going in one way or another, so, I'm going to attempt to write in this blog at least twice a week about something - anything - interesting. On top of that, I'm going to make an attempt to get back to continuing my LoZ fic that I haven't been able to continue for the past couple months, as well as do some other things that I hope will make my life more...interesting, I suppose.

Well, with that out of the way, what's there to talk about?

How about this?

Last Saturday, during the Oklahoma-Kansas State game, a male student apparently committed suicide outside the stadium using an explosive attached to his body. The incident appears to be an isolated one, and the student was the only casualty. Police and the FBI immediately responded by searching the surrounding area for more possible explosives, which were promptly detonated safely when found.

Living in a state where the infamous Oklahoma City Bombing took place a decade ago, to hear that something like this happened in the Sooner State is, to say the least, quite frightening. For it to also happen on the very campus where I work simply adds emphasizes how far away you can never be from something dangerous like this. I was delivering pizzas that evening during the game, so I wasn't there to really be that close to it. I remember hearing a loud bang during the game duing one of my deliveries, but I thought it was the typical explosions set off near Owen's Field whenever OU scored a touchdown.

But what's even more eerie is that I may have actually briefly met the guy who committed suicide. The student, Joel Henry Hinrichs, was an engineering student and a member of the Triangle Fraternity, and I sit with members of Triangle every day during lunch. I unfortunately cannot remember ever talking to Joel or remembering his face when I saw it in the university newspaper on Monday, but some of my best friends in Triangle certainly knew him, so this definitely hits them quite close to home. The paper reported that Joel had some emotional problems that he was attempting to correct via councelling, but sadly it seems they weren't enough to help him. While it is a little beyond Saturday, it's never too late to say that my heart and prayers go out to Joel's family, friends, and everyone affected by this tragedy.

On a side note, after the game had ended and long after the suicide had been committed, I was still delivering pizzas. One of the orders was for me to deliver 15 pizzas to police officers who had fenced off an intersection near where the bombing had taken place. It was downright spooky to ride down that road that no other cars could ride down just to deliver some pizzas to police officers who were just as mystified by this situation as everyone else.

Well, that's all for now. Until next time, have a good one.

When life throws you some spare minutes...

2005-09-06T21:18:00.000-04:00

...use them, like I'm doing now to update what's been going on in my life, etc., etc., blah blah blah.

- I started a new blog, called Design This!. Okay, so why would I start a new blog when I barely maintain this current one as it is? Simple. Design This! is my special place where I can write about junk science, particularly Intelligent Design and creationism. As an Engineering Physics student, I've come across countless arguments against evolution, none of which are based in science but are rather religiously or politically motivated. While I'm no expert on evolution, Design This! is where I can point out arguments by IDers and creationists that even I can see are ridiculous.

Of course, Intelligent Design isn't the only thing I'm looking at. Other topics of interest include homeopathy, quacks who sell "natural cures 'they' don't want you to know about", and other junk science that is out there. There isn't that much written in that blog so far...but you've got to start somewhere, right?

- This Saturday, Naruto will finally premiere on Toonami. Finally, after all those months of hype mounted on this show, I get to see whether it's good or not. The manga put me to sleep, but maybe the anime will be different. And since I haven't seen any episode of the anime in Japanese, I can walk into the show with a clean slate and no baggage concerning the original Japanese voices. I just hope this show is as good as everyone claims it is...

In the meantime, a brief clip of the show in its dubbed form is available online at Toonami's website. The clip has already appeared on NarutoFan, and as you can imagine the fans are raving already:

Naruto sounds like a tool. Pick better voice actors, gawd.

What is cartoon network thinking ofputting naruto in Toonami? it should be in Adult Swim since it includes half nudity, bad language, and violence. I can imagine kids running around saying SEXY NO JUTSU!.

my ears are bleeding..............

the way that theh say naruto i find realy gay

Just as I feared... suck. Utter and total suck! English voice actors really need to learn how to not suck. But they won't, because that would be sweet... so... back to learning Japanese

Terrible. Absolutely terrible. How ANYONE that's an old fan of the series can watch this is beyond me. This makes me want to cry a little.

this is lame america should stick to marvel comics and what not and leave the anime to the experts the japanese

And all of these comments were found on just two pages of at least 39. Nice. Of course, there were a couple comments that actually liked what they heard, but good luck finding them. At least the admins of NarutoFan are giving the dub a chance - they even asked Maile Flanagan, the voice of the show's title character, to do an interview. It's just a pity a large chuck of the community surrounding this show has to act so elitist and snobbish.

I know that there are some stubborn fans who just won't be satisfied no matter how good the dub may turn out to be, so the only thing that can be done is, when they begin complaining, is to just stick your fingers in your ears and go "lalalalalalalala".

Fandom Wank's gonna have a field day with this...

- I recently started working delivering pizzas for Papa John's over in Norman, a transfer from delivering pizzas for PJ's in Oklahoma City. Of course, my first day had to have some kind of trial-by-fire, didn't it?

It went like this: on Friday I started working a shift that would end at 1:00am. On Saturday I had to work a shift starting at 11:00am because there would be a football game during that time. At the time, I thought, "No problem. Leave the store at one, get home, sleep for about eight hours, then go to work at eleven. No sweat."

However, things did not go so smoothly that night. The moment that 1:00am rolled around, the number of delivery orders spiked. Yes, you read that right: spiked! At least twenty people called in the span of ten minutes around that time, and to make matters worse the store was understaffed because of the unforeseen nature of this unexpected rush. Therefore, I had to stay longer than I had anticipated...until four in the morning. Needless to say, I got little sleep that night. Thankfully, the game day shift wasn't that bad, and I got to go home early and sleep the rest of the day away on a well-earned nap.

Now, the thing you might be asking is, "Why did we get an order surge so late at night, one that lasted till four in the morning and beyond?" I have some guesses:

1) Norman is a college town, and many college students don't like to sleep for whatever reason.

2) In Oklahoma, people like to consume alcohol...a lot. Some people I delivered to were incredibly drunk - one even offered me some beer while I drove around my deliveries. Uh-huh...

3) Tomorrow was a football game, and people must've been celebrating the start of OU football long into the night.

And you know what the sad thing is? OU lost to TCU 17-10 on Saturday. I guess people won't be partying that much next week...

Ah, well, the job still pays pretty well.

That's all for now. Until next time, have a good one.

Now you can yell "Zaker!"...

2005-08-16T00:29:00.000-04:00

...when you make love to your girl in your brand spanking new Zatch Bell! underwear.

All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

2005-08-15T16:18:00.000-04:00

I have seen the light, and it has burned my eyes out.

But before I became blind, I saw the truth that is hidden from most of the world. All the world's major religions - Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Oprahism - are demoninations of words strung together into interesting phrases and orgy-less gatherings that don't satisfy anything that requires an appetite. Therefore, I have converted to the one true religion of the world - true because everyone who is a member of this demonination says so. That religions is the First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

All hail His Noodles! Give Him thanks and praise...but no cheese, please. As far as I can speculate, our Lord doesn't like cheese. Though meatball seem to be okay.

The religioin of our Lord is growing rapidly and quickly. His power his explained in several enormous tomes (to be called the Elbib, I fathom), and while empirical science cannot detect His presence, that does not matter because we know He exists and empirical science is an evil anti-noodle crusade meant to defy His mightiness. So-called experts may laugh at us with their abundant, observable, repeatable, and countless evidence for their empiricism, but we know that we are right because the soon-to-be-called Elbib says so. The almighty FSM will sit in judgement and meatball sauce when the world's Last Spaghetti Supper comes to and end, and all will be in awe at His greatness. I mean, just look at how big he is!

But there is a problem: because the United Church of the FSM has been living in secrecy all these years, few people on the outside fail to recognize His Grace's mighty Noodleness. But that can now change, because a marvelous opportunity has arisen. Advocates of Intelligent Design, that marvelous is-it-religion-or-is-it-science-oh-it's-religion conjecture that's been making headlines in all the major newspapers and The Daily Oklahoman, is about to be inserted into Kansas science schools because of the school board's conservative majority declaring that students should be exposed to "alternative theories" to the theory of evolution.

Despite the definition that scientists use to describe a theory, if Intelligent Design can be called a theory then our Lord deserves the same respect. Therefore, the United Church of the FSM will ask that the Kansas School Board help expose His Greatness to the students of Kansas as an alternative theory to Intellilgent Design. Equal time should be given to these three marvelous theories in the Sunflower State and beyond, and we will not rest until our Lord is sitting alongside Intelligent Design and some idea that's based on countless pieces of observable evidence.

So pray for our success, and if you wish to see His Flying Noodleness in our public school system, then please send Him money. He loves money. And expensive sports cars. And any book written by Terry Pratchett.

See here for more details.